Prayer request for a troubled marriage


#1

Greetings, everyone;

I am a 54-year old Catholic man, married to a 54-year-old Catholic woman for just over 30 years. We met in high school, went different ways during college, and wound up together again, eventually engaged and married.

I will call us Joe and Jill.

Jill is, for the most part, a wonderful wife, mother, daughter and sister, both personally and spiritually. Together, we raised one daughter, a recent college graduate who also lives a deep, strong and active life of Catholic faith.

Over our thirty-year marriage, I have always tried to be a good husband. I have not been perfect; there are times when I treated my wife in less than a respectful manner in my words or in my treatment of her. I have asked for her forgiveness on these matters and have worked hard to be a better man and a better partner. I have never physically hurt Jill in any conceivable manner. I’m not an alcoholic, a drug user, a gambler, or addicted to any substance or harmful activity. Neither is Jill.

I cannot imagine my life without her. She is my sunrise and sunset, the very reason I live my life here on this Earth. The thought of my life without her is something I simply can’t bear or imagine.

I spend the majority of my time about 700 miles away from our home, working at my contracting job. The current situation of the economy where we live demands this. This is a sacrifice I make to provide a comfortable home and life for my wife and daughter. I consider myself fortunate to be able to do this. I frequently travel home on weekends and for extended holiday periods.

About six months ago, Jill informed me that she had started an emotional relationship with another man. She has always insisted that there has been no physical, sexual or adulterous behavior. I believe her. After my initial shock and anger, I decided to work harder than I ever though possible to save our marriage. This test of our marriage revealed to me the absolute depths of my love for her. I realized that I had taken what we had for granted in many ways.

Together, we have tried extremely hard to rescue our relationship. Over the course of this six-month period, she would lapse back into seeing this man, even after telling me the relationship was over. Leading into the holidays, I believed, through her words and actions, that we had really turned the corner.

When I returned to my job, I believed that things were OK and would continue that way. I learned, however, she saw this man again this weekend. She informed me that she still has very strong feelings for him, and I fear that this could potentially lead to the end of our marriage.

Even worse, this man is a (former) friend of mine, someone I trusted to a great degree. That he would stab me in the back and actively seek to convince Jill to leave me is something I can barely believe. He is also married, with grown children, and is apparently seeking a way to leave his wife.

I can state, with complete conviction, that my wife’s love for me hasn’t lessened in any significant way. When we are together and we focus on one another to the exclusion of any outside distractions, I believe we have a relationship that would be the envy of anyone. Spiritually, physically, intimately, emotionally…all these things work. We’ve spent the past 30 years working hard to make it so.

I believe she also understands the consequences of any aftermath if our relationship ends. We would both lose so many wonderful things in our lives. I especially fear the loss of the faith in God that we share. Individually, I know we will never lose our faith, but we have always taken strength in each others’ love of the Lord’s word and how we try to apply it in our lives. We would also lose many of those earthly things we’ve worked so hard for during our lives, and I would especially mourn the loss of the home we share together. I realize these are just physical things that can always be replaced, but anyone with a lengthy marriage who has built something together understands what I mean.

I am not seeking any advice from anyone here. We are still trying to work things out between us, and as much of an uphill battle as that has been, I believe we still have a chance to succeed. We have been through every possible stage you can imagine; shock, hurt, mistrust, arguments, pleading, reasoning, intimacy - you name it. For me, if we turn this back around and stay together, she can count on my unconditional forgiveness. I have already forgiven her in my heart time and time again, because I love her and believe that what we have is the greatest partnership a man could have with a woman. I have tried very hard to not dredge these things up and throw it “back in her face” when we talk about it. I haven’t always succeeded in this. I suppose that’s the anger and hurt boiling up inside me. But I try to keep it in check…I will always keep my heart ready for her, I will always forgive her, she will always be #1 in my life on this Earth.

I’ve been droning on and on here, so let me come to my request. I wish to ask all the Prayer Warriors and all my friends in Christ to please pray for Jill and I as we work though this difficult time in our lives. I have prayed very hard during this, and at times, I believed God has heard me and touched her soul. But when she’s turned away again, I can’t help but wonder if there’s something in my life, something I am doing (or not doing) that is keeping me from God’s favor. But I will continue to speak to Him, through Jesus and the Blessed Mother, asking for intercession and that my Jill’s heart be softened and that she keeps our marriage alive and strong. I know we can accomplish this with God’s help.

I seek the help of you all, my friends in the Word of Christ, to pray for us and our marriage.

Thank you so much and God Bless You All!

Joe


#2

Praying hard for the reconciliation of your marriage, Joe.


#3

Joe I am sad to read this.Is is possible for you all to move where your job is?
Also Catholic Marriage Counselling? God bless

Dear Lord please heal this marriage between Jill and Joe.Please grant them both
to open their hearts and minds to one another and to Your will.Amen

Saint Anthony, Performer of Miracles
Dear St. Anthony, your prayers obtained miracles during your lifetime. You still seem to move at ease in the realm of minor and major miracles. St. Anthony, Performer of Miracles, please obtain for me the blessings God holds in reserve who serve Him. Pray that I may be worthy of the promises my Lord Jesus attaches to confident prayer. (For the marriage of Joe and Jill.)


#4

Joe, I'll be praying for you and your wife. God Bless!


#5

Quit the job.

Praying for you and your marriage.


#6

I pray for you as I type this.


#7

[quote="tbcrawford, post:3, topic:182672"]
Joe I am sad to read this.Is is possible for you all to move where your job is?
Also Catholic Marriage Counselling? God bless

[/quote]

tb: Thanks for your suggestions and, especially, your prayers.

Unfortunately, that's not possible. My daughter will be moving away soon enough (she's 23 and expects to be working in a larger city in her career, eventually).

Jill is five years from retiring from her job, and her retirement is sponsored by the state. So she would lose a lot by leaving the area. Her retirement benefits are important for her future, so I cannot expect her to leave our home.

Besides, my goal is to leave where I am and get back there. I've got a lot of things working for me in that direction right now.

Oddly, I received an email from a friend back home about sending him my resume. He's keeping his eyes open for opportunities there for me. What's funny about this is that I never get email from him. In fact, I rarely see him unless I run into him at church when I'm home or some rare social event. For him to kind of pop up like this makes me wonder about God's great hand!

And counseling is something we've discussed. I suppose we've thought all along that we can work through this ourselves. It's an option I've mentioned, but we haven't used yet.


#8

[quote="Teneas, post:5, topic:182672"]
Quit the job.

Praying for you and your marriage.

[/quote]

Teneas: that's for your advice and your prayers. Right now, quitting is not possible. I wish I could say it was, but economically, it would be a disaster for all of us. Doing that would only make matters worse, I think. But I am working hard to find something back home. Hopefully, God will hear all your wonderful prayers and help me with that as well.

But I still have a lot of work to do!


#9

Praying for you and your wife Jill ...

Hail Mary,
full of grace,
the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death.
Amen.


#10

Joe, you and Jill are still in my prayers.Hope you can get a job
nearer home and get to counselling.You will both feel closer for
doing so.
May God bless youi both

A Novena Prayer to the Sacred Heart of Jesus
Sacred Heart of Jesus, we know that there is but one thing impossible to You: to be without pity for those who are in suffering or distress. Look down on us, we beg of You and grant us the grace which we humbly and earnestly implore, through the Immaculate Heart of Your most sorrowful Mother to whom You confided us as her children, and whose prayers are all powerful with You. Amen.


#11

Our Father, Who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name.
Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it as it is in heaven.
Give us this day, our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive
those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but
deliver us from evil.
Amen

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,and
blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and
at the hour of our death.
Amen

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit,
as it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be world without end.
Amen


#12

I will add you to my rosary intention for tonight and will say a few prayers for you two now.

God bless.


#13

A Novena Prayer to the Sacred Heart of Jesus
Sacred Heart of Jesus, we know that there is but one thing impossible to You: to be without pity for those who are in suffering or distress. Look down on us, we beg of You and grant us the grace which we humbly and earnestly implore, through the Immaculate Heart of Your most sorrowful Mother to whom You confided us as her children, and whose prayers are all powerful with You. Amen.


#14

I wanted to take a moment to thank all of you for your prayer offerings on behalf of my wife and I.

We are still struggling with this, and I know that the quest for her heart will be a difficult one. I know that she still loves me very deeply, and I have tried, with the Lord’s guidance, to be a patient, understanding and loving partner as we work through this. This is such a difficult process; the personal human emotions I feel during this sometimes overwhelm me, and I struggle just to make it through a work day.

Your prayers have touched my heart, and I know the Lord hears you all, and hears me as I seek strength and guidance.

I especially appreciate the suggestion of counseling from those of you who offered it. I will be home this weekend, able to talk with her face-to-face, and I plan to make this part of the discussion when I see her.

God Bless You All!


#15

Dear Lord please guide both Joe and Jill through this time.
Bless them and their marriage.Grant that they will be honest
to one another and able to acknowledge their trust and love
of one another.May their hearts be open to Your will and their
sacrament of marriage be saved.Amen

A Novena Prayer to the Sacred Heart of Jesus
Sacred Heart of Jesus, we know that there is but one thing impossible to You: to be without pity for those who are in suffering or distress. Look down on us, we beg of You and grant us the grace which we humbly and earnestly implore, through the Immaculate Heart of Your most sorrowful Mother to whom You confided us as her children, and whose prayers are all powerful with You. Amen.

Joe may God bless you both and guide you both through this time.God bless


#16

A Novena Prayer to the Sacred Heart of Jesus
Sacred Heart of Jesus, we know that there is but one thing impossible to You: to be without pity for those who are in suffering or distress. Look down on us, we beg of You and grant us the grace which we humbly and earnestly implore, through the Immaculate Heart of Your most sorrowful Mother to whom You confided us as her children, and whose prayers are all powerful with You. Amen.


#17

Prayer To Accept God’s Will

Give me, Lord, the strength and courage to accept Your will at this time of my life, and throughout my life. You know both what I want and what is best for me. Help me to recognize Your blessing and presence in all my needs so that my thoughts, words, and actions might reflect my trust in Your wisdom. Amen.


#18

Greetings to all my kind friends in Christ!

I wanted to post an update to the situation with my marriage, and provide you all with some wonderful news. This is my witness to the greatness of the Lord.

Over the course of the past few days, My wife "Jill" and I have turned the corner, so to speak, on the issues with our marriage. The days leading up to this were not easy, but during a period of my absence while away at my job, she began to realize some things about the other person involved in this situation.

Earlier this week, without knowing her discovery, I spoke with her by phone for over three hours, discussing our situation and relating to her some interesting discoveries I had made on my own.

This realizations followed a week of little communications between us, but during a period of talking and unburdening to family and friends (another of God's great gifts!). These revelations were discovered by us exclusively of one another, yet we had arrived at the same place.

We are back on our marital journey together. We will definitely have some work to do, but I have told her that my love for her and my forgiveness of all that happened is unconditional.

I wanted to relate this good news to everyone here as witness to the power of all your prayers and intentions, and to the proof of God's great mercy in our lives. Not many days ago, my heart and soul were as heavy and burdened as any man's could be. This was the same for Jill, and all those in our family who love us. Now I can say that through His mighty favor, God has guided us through this test and showed us the way back to a blessed life.

God bless you all and thank you for your prayers and intentions on our behalf.

And praise God forever for His greatness!


#19

A Novena Prayer to the Sacred Heart of Jesus
Sacred Heart of Jesus, we know that there is but one thing impossible to You: to be without pity for those who are in suffering or distress. Look down on us, we beg of You and grant us the grace which we humbly and earnestly implore, through the Immaculate Heart of Your most sorrowful Mother to whom You confided us as her children, and whose prayers are all powerful with You. Amen.


#20

:gopray:


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