I’ve been a long-time lurker. This site helps bring me back to my faith and my love for Catholicism. I have faced a lot of obstacles since marrying my husband, a wonderful man who suffers from treatment-resistant depression. I constantly pray for and receive the grace needed to get through each day, and to be a good role model for our children.
My husband has not worked for the past 6 years due to his illness. I work full-time and have a second job as well. I cannot always be the wife and mother that I wish to be for my family because of my demands outside the home.
I pray daily for a healing for my husband. I will say that because of his illness, he is a far better person than he was prior. He is compassionate and empathetic in a way he never was before and for that I am grateful.
It is however, a double-edged sword, in that his self-esteem suffers because he cannot work and has missed out on so much of our children’s (dd 14, ds 12) lives. He takes care of the kids when I work, but is unable to do much with them. All of this just exacerbates his condition.
I believe in Divine Order and God’s plan. I am just so weary and alone in this. It has been a total of 10 years since his illness began. I am tired.