Prayers for my father please


#1

My father just celebrated his 78th birthday last week. He’s always had a sharp mind, he’s a very intelligent man…and for lack of a being able to think of a better way to explain it always aware of what is proper and polite.

Yesterday while at dinner at my parents my father asked about something he’s requested my husband to print out from the internet several days earlier. My husband had forgotten about it and so had I for that matter so it was left behind on the kitchen table. My father blurts out to my husband “when God was giving out brains he obviously missed you” and laughs. I was stunned. It was so out of character for my dad. I said scoldingly “Dad that was not nice.” I was hoping he would say he was only kidding but instead he says “Well its true.” I argued a bit but he clearly was not going to rescind his comment so I dropped it because it was just drawing more attention to it.

Today he called while I was napping and my daughter answered the phone. He told her that I needed to lose weight she said “what?” He repeated tell your mother she needs to lose weight. You can tell just tell her or you can tell I said you needed to tell her. My daughter was like “O…K…Grandpa.” and that was all he called for.

I do need to lose weight I agree but it was very strange that he would call just to say that and weird that he would be asking my daughter to tell me I needed to lose weight as if it was coming from her.

The first comment was far more out of character from my father than the second but still odd. My father will speak his mind with me at times but if my husband has ever done anything that he doesn’t like he always says it to me never directly to him…even many years go when my husband was battling alcoholism and he sure had reason to criticize him then.

My husband and father really do get along well. My father is a retired engineer my husband jobs have been in machining and they often talk “shop”. I was already wondering if this was an age thing and when the strange phone call came today it really made me uneasy.

I adore my father and respect him immensely. It’ll just break my heart if this is a sign of what is to come as his gets older. I so do not want that for him.:frowning:


#2

My father just celebrated his 78th birthday last week. He's always had a sharp mind, he's a very intelligent man...and for lack of a being able to think of a better way to explain it always aware of what is proper and polite....

:gopray: May St. Joseph interceed for your father before Our Heavenly Father.

I'm glad that you recognize his inappropriate comments are out of character and that you and your husband aren't taking them personally. Have you mentioned this to your mom? She probably sees more than you do, but she may or maynot be able to stay objective. When behavior changes suddendly, it might be a good idea to have a doctor check the person to see if something's going on medically.

My dad passed away several years ago. It was hard watching my father get old, but it is a special time of grace too.


#3

My mom is a whole 'nother ball of wax. ;) She and my dad have fought like cats and dogs for decades, so him saying something rude to her would be normal.:D In my mom's world she is the center of the universe so anything my dad would be experiencing would pale in comparison to her "sufferings" -real or imagined. She really would not be helpful unfortunately. I'm used to her being inappropriate, my dad has always been the opposite.

I've noticed other things -like him getting turned around while driving and recently we went out to eat at a place where you go to the counter to order your meals. My husband and my dad went to the counter to order. My dad ordered way too much food, 7 meals when there were only five of us and my mom had asked for a buffalo wings appetizer for us instead he ordered her a buffalo burger. My parents have been married over 50 years, I'm 37 and I know there is no way my mother would ever eat a buffalo burger. My husband felt uneasy correcting my dad, where if I would have been there I would have been able to step in.

I think my husband's feelings were a little hurt by my dad's comment but he also knows its totally out of character for him. This is when being an only child really sucks. We have no family here and I don't have any living siblings to help me with my aging parents.

Thank you for your prayers. It means a lot.


#4

Prayers for your dad, and for your DH and DS too. I feel bad for them, being insulted like that. :(:signofcross:


#5

Prayers for your dad and your family, rayne. :gopray:


#6

Thank you. :slight_smile: Just to clarify my daughter spoke to my dad and he was telling her that I needed to lose weight not that my daughter needed to lose weight. I would have had a lot harder time being objective if he had directed that comment to my daughter.

I do need to lose weight. He already knows that I know I need to lose weight but with hubby being laid off and me working a lot more than I usually do I just can’t focus on my diet right now -too much stress going on. I was always thin growing up and even through most of my adult life, I should be on the thin side with my heart problems so I’m sure its concern for my health. His phone call was just odd.


#7

Oh I’m’ sorry I misread…I though the loose weight comment was directed at your DD. Not that it matters, it’s not something you need to be told either. It’s inappropriate, in either case. And I’m sure, your DD doesn’t appreciate him making her the ‘go between’.

Many prayers. I think some people as they get older have an attitude of, I’m old enough now that i can just let loose with my words. My grandmother, who says the most vile things, says since she’s almost 80 she can say what she wants and everyone has to listen, because she’s old. So far that theory isn’t working out to well for her;)


#8

Brain tumors are sometimes found to be the cause of such changes. Might be a good idea to rule that out.


#9

Hail Mary,
full of grace,
the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death.
Amen.


#10

:signofcross:


#11

My parents are the same age range and I have had some worries myself. I pray both your pqrents find God and find comfort in Him.
I also pray for your comfort and strength.


#12

Just a quick note. Remember, that even if you're 78 you can have "one of those tough birthdays"...like the ones people have at 30 or 50 or 65...or any random age. Your weight might be a trigger point for him...his way of trying to make sure you reach 78, too.


#13

[quote="shannyk, post:7, topic:184301"]

Many prayers. I think some people as they get older have an attitude of, I'm old enough now that i can just let loose with my words.

[/quote]

I sure hope that's not it. If it hasn't come through in my posts already I am a "daddy's girl" :blush: I have so much respect for my father it would tear my heart in two. :(


#14

Y'know I was just saying the other day that it would be a great idea if they had a class at the hospital, similar to those "my Mom's having a baby class" for siblings, that was aimed toward children of aging parents. I am lucky because I have a sister and a SIL both in the health field so I don't really have that part of the burden put on me, but I do have to ask a lot if something is typical of an aging person. It must be more difficult for you since you are an only...

If I were you I would definitely suggest a doctor visit. Other than that - your father may be experiencing the downside of aging.

My parents are clearly starting to forget more, etc., my father moreso than my mother. I try to remind myself that I need to appreciate the opportunity to take care of them like they took care of me. Helps a little.


#15

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