Prayers for the Healing of Divorcees


#1

Some of us on CA felt the need for a place to post prayer intentions for ourselves, families, children, and our ex-spouses while we try to learn and grow through our divorces. Please post requests for anyone effected by divorce.

Please do not use this as a space to discuss opinions on divorce or annulments. This is a place for support through prayer.

Thanks!


#2

Please pray for me as I begin a new phase of healing.
Please pray for my ex-spouse.
Prayers of thanksgiving for yesterday’s blessings!

cecilia


#3

I could not agree more that this is listed. I started a DivorceCare workshop at a local Christian church a couple of weeks ago and that helps to know I am not alone. I feel so alone in the catholic church. I feel ashamed and like a failure and i also feel I am forced to never experience marital intimacy again. It is so scary


#4

I completely agree with you. I started the Divorcecare program at a local christian church as I could not get anyone to really understand my pain. This program is really great and helps you heal through the process while reminding you that Divorce is not really God’s plan and asking you to leave ur heart open to reconciliation.

Please pray for me and for my husband (he is not an ex yet as the divorce will be final on april 17). I pray for healing and for courage during this time and I am prepared for whatever will be the outcome.


#5

I will pray for you in my rosary. It is so very painful and heartbreaking and the more I listen to the word of God the more I know that divorce is not ordained by God. I was served papers late December and am in the process of gathering papers. It is such a heartbreak that I think I have finally figured out that the only people who could really understand is those who have experienced the pain. Please pray for me and my children and pray for marriage restoration if it is in God’s will

Cynthia


#6

Please pray for my husband. He was served his divorce papers from me on Jan 11. I have to get my children and myself away from the abuses of this man. But, his childhood was filled with pornography and physical and mental abuse. He doesn’t even see what he has done wrong and doesn’t understand why I am divorcing him. I am trying to get him to attend Retrouvaille just so I might be able to communicate to him how he has hurt us and why this marriage has to end.


#7

Prayers for everyone!


#8

Thanx for this cecilia97 we all need a place where we can just let go. My prayer request is to not give up. My divorce will be final end of Feb 07. Here am I going to church every Sunday doing the right thing and I feel as if I am suffering more than he ever will. He is so happy you can hear it in his voice. He has moved on he tells me it is a year that we are not together anymore. That he can only care about me from a distance and that is all that he can give me. I never asked for that so why did he say that. He says he is making the most of a situation and that God has blessed him with this now 20 year old. And they go to church together etc. They are living together and everything seems to be working out wonderfully for him. And here am I battling and struggling to get over what has happened. That it is so easy for him to switch off his feelings after we were together for 12 years. That I am all alone having to bring up two small children on my own. This is not what I wanted this is not the life I asked for.

My marriage was not great there were more bad times then good. There was physical and emotional abuse. He wanted to control me and what I did and where I went etc. He did not want me to have friends. He wanted me to be in the house all the time never going anywhere. So why am I still crying about this man. Why am I still feeling the pain when I should have been over him a long time ago. I just don’t have the answers. As soon as I feel that I am getting the answers then I am back down in a miserable and unhappy situation.

I feel so dispondent that I am wasting my time. That I have been praying for a whole year to get over this situation and I have not. Sometimes I feel as if God has forsaken me that he can see that I am suffering so terribly and is doing nothing about it. That I pray every night, read the bible, go to church and trying so hard to stay on the right path. And still nothing is happening I am still in financial debt, still miserable and unhappy and still where I was a year ago. I have tried so hard and some days are good and others are so terrible.


#9

Robaynne, I’m sure we’ll all add you to our prayers!

It looks like your ex has moved on, but he’s not dealing with any of this and it will come back to haunt him. My ex is about the same way but I have the luxury of not having to deal with him anymore…not having to see him making a fool of himself with his GF. They have been through all the same trauma we have, but they have not let themselves feel it or heal from it. You feel like you’re in the worse situation now, but he is really the one to be pitied. And I promise you…if he was abusive, the new GF is not going to escape that side of him forever. As soon as their life settles down to everyday brass tacks and the “honeymoon” is over, he’ll be back to his old self…unless he gets help or deals with some of the things that caused the problems in your marriage.

Sounds to me like he used the New Year as a reason to call you up and tell you how great things are with him…in order to convince himself of what he knows is not totally true.

Grief takes a long time. Don’t feel like you’re behind or not dealing “properly” or fast enough. You deal with it your own way, you will survive and get stronger in the right time.

Praying for your ex helps. Maybe pray for the GF too, that she wises up before she is abused.


#10

i agree with cecilia too… i think that your hubby is not really happy and thats the reason why he felt the need to call up and assure you of how happy he really is with his new GF.

i believe that there might already be problems brewing within the new relationship for him to call u up. stay strong but do not take him back unless he is truly repentant and wants to do the right thing.

you will be better off with just you and God than with a abuser.


#11

Pointing out the obvious here in case you need a reminder: He left you for a 20 y.o. because that young thing is going to be much, much easier for him to control than a strong Catholic woman already on to his methods. He is still not interested in having a “healthy” marriage / relationship. Your pain comes from the fact that you meant your promise on your wedding day, and spent a lot of energy trying to make the relationship work the way it was intended to, and it is painful to know all that effort was not appreciated (and even rejected) by the person you had vowed yourself to in partnership.

Continuing on to more my particular situation:

Now that its 17 months since she left, the amount that the kids and I have blossomed without having to deal with my ex-wife’s behavior 24/7, combined with her persistence in trying to maintain her old control patterns however she can even after the divorce was finalized, is such that there is now no way I would consider reuniting. It still hurts, I’m nowhere near wanting to date again, but even though I’ve known there was nothing else I could have done, even tohugh I was teh one that filed and eventually pushed to finalize, I have only recently started to really accept that the marraige is over, that it really never had a chance, and that ther wasn’t any real hope of my ex-wife deciding to make a major change in course. I have benefited from contining to apply the changes I undertook trying to hold the marraige together in how I deal with people in general, and I sleep well knowing that I literally did everything I could to try to preserve the marraige while trying to insulate the kids from the troubles.

I started the nullity process in December, my witnesses just got their questionnares. My preayer request would be for those people, that they would be fully honest and complete in thier descriptions of both of us as they write out thier responses.


#12

Ray and All -

After the death of my first husband (and actually after I married my soon-to-be-ex husband), I went through a program called Beginning Experience. It’s for divorced and widowed people and a Catholic church developed program like Marriage Encounter and Retrouvaille. The program does lot to help the healing from a lost relationship. At the time I did it, I was thinking that the trouble in my current marriage was due to unresolved issues because of the loss of my first husband. And, there were issues within me that needed healing. I didn’t get the result that I had intended (fix me and my marriage would be fine), but it gave me the emotional strength to decide that this marriage was not all because of me and that I didn’t need to stay in it to fill that void that was left after my first husband’s death. I strongly encourage you to all to check into it and give it a try. I will probably be going through it again in a few months - just not yet.


#13

I have been separated from my husband since September. I don’t see any chance of a reconciliation. He is mentally ill and will not see that his own terrible actions are his fault. He blames everything on me.
God has given me peace but some days I am so sad. This is my second marriage. I thought he would be a father to my four children and a great husband to me. I had been so hurt before and had been alone for 6 years before he came along. We now have a son, so I am a single mother to 5 children, trying to run a house, pay bills, care for the children and my mother is dying.
Some days it gets a bit much. I know that God is always there though. He gives me strength to get through. I feel His presence. But it’s a roller coaster ride and I’m expecting the highs and lows.
I will pray for you all as I have been there before and seem to be heading that way again. It is terribly painful.
God bless you all.


#14

Robaynne,
give yourself time. They say it takes about 3 years to get over a divorce and it must be especially painful if he’s playing the wonderful, Christian man and doting father.
If he had really changed to become this wonderful man, a real conversion of heart, don’t you think he would be doing the right thing and not living in sin?
He has not changed. Don’t be fooled. It is an act to ease his conscience. Don’t think that she is getting better treatment than you did. People don’t change that easily.
Please try to stop thinking about what she has, and what you’ve lost. He’s the one that has lost!
He is an adulterer. No matter what he pretends to be, he is sinning against God.
I have been reading a few books on abusive men lately and I don’t really know your story or what he was like, so I don’t know if these books would apply. But try getting some good books to read on your situation. It helps. I know how you feel. My first husband left me for a 19yo when our 4th child was 5months old. He broke up with her 4 years later and he is still wandering around looking for women, oblivious to anything at all but what he needs ‘right now’. He is a lost soul and has no depth. The tears I cried over him for 4 or so years were wasted on him. He was not worth them.
God will reward you. I remember feeling the same way. i tried to do everything right and he was doing everything wrong and he was happy and I was miserable. Just offer every little pain, suffering and every tear to God. He joyfully accepts our sufferings, offered with a willing heart. Pray for the grace do His will, no matter how unpleasant or how hard. I think if you realise that suffering willingly for God is the greatest gift you can give back to Him. He is the most wonderful and loving Father and He wants only what is good for us. As painful as this is, believe with childlike faith and trust in Him that this is His will and good will come out of it.
God bless and I will pray for you.


#15

jules,

do you have a support system of friends or family who can help you with some of the household stuff right now?

praying for you and everyone else!


#16

I have a pretty good family but they all have their own lives and families and right now, my mother is very sick, so all our attentions are on her. I’ll get by. God is so good to me. He’s never let me down. He will provide.
Thanks for your concern and prayers.
praying for all on this thread too


#17

Please pray for my wife. Please pray that she sees the good in me and our marriage, and not just the bad. Please pray that although she has filed divorce papers, that the Lord shows her that us divorcing is not the right thing to do: Not for us, not for our children.

Please pray for my 8 and 4 year old, the truly innocent victims of this whole ordeal. Please pray that their lives will not be destroyed by this.

Please pray for me. Please pray that the Lord gives me the strength and the grace to handle each day of this disaster in a positive way. Please pray that the Lord helps me to continue to become the man that I should be. Please pray that the my wife stops being so open to the past that she does not allow herself to see me for who I am now.

God Bless everyone going through a divorce or who has been through it. For me, personally, it has been a truly horrible experience and I would not wish it on anyone.


#18

Please remember my husband and I this weekend. We start our Retrouvaille weekend this evening. I’m honestly scared to death and trying to give that emotion to God.
Much thanks - Annie


#19

Prayers for everybody!
:heart:


#20

Hey y’all!

I’m including all our intentions in my Lenten prayers.

I’d like to add thanksgiving here for some good news I received today. My annulment petition is being granted a hearing.


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