In 2004, my husband got a job 5,000 miles away from our families. I agreed to the move and we have been living here together since 2005. (We lived apart for over a year while I was finishing my M.S. program on the East Coast). Our move here was never intended to be permanent but the economy (house underwater) has kept us here longer than intended. We originally planned a 2-5 year stay and it’s now been 8 years.
My Dad was diagnosed with Cancer in November (Waldenstrom’s Syndrome - rare but slower-growing cancer). I was able to go visit him at Christmas before he started chemotherapy. He seems to be doing okay but I’m really struggling with whether or not we should move back this summer to be closer to our families.
DH and I are fairly involved in our church here (I’m a cantor and he’s a lector) and we both have jobs although DH is very discouraged with his (long story). There is a possibility I could work remotely with the same company I work for now but I have hesitated to ask my boss because I’m not 100% sure she would allow it. Also, if we left, it’s pretty certain it would be a while before my DH could find another job (he works in the newspaper industry in sports so jobs are sparse).
Also, we have a house here that is just starting to come out from underwater. If we sold it, we might be able to break even but that’s about it. We’ve talked about renting it and even tried to rent it out last summer but couldn’t find anyone before busy season kicked in for DH and we couldn’t leave. And renting it means having to pay someone to manage it since we’d be too far away to handle it ourselves.
Lastly, DH and I really want to start our family. We’ve been waiting to have kids until we were living closer to family. I’m now 35 and concerned that time is running out. In terms of having kids, we talked about it and felt that, if we want kids within a year, we should probably stay here where we know we have steady jobs and healthcare but, my heart aches when I think about being so far from my family with a child and what if My Dad’s situation worsens. I feel that having a child would also give my Dad something to look forward to - He seemed excited about the idea of a 2nd grandchild (my older brother has a daughter) when I mentioned it at Christmas.
Anyway, sorry this is so long. Please pray for me and DH for wisdom and discernment about if/how/when to move and figure this all out. Thanks!