I ask for your prayers, but I am not certain for what. I am feeling very, very down -- sure, some of it is the long, cold, snowy winter --- but I feel out of place. I try to pray each day, and offer each day up to Jesus, but I feel as though I am just struggling through each day, not living.
This summer I was laid off from my job of 11 years with the Catholic church due to budget cuts. I LOVED that job, I felt fulfilled, doing something for God's good, and in an environment that I truly felt connected to and supported deep in my heart.
At my age (mid 50's), trying to find a decent job to support my wife and 4 kids was difficult. However God did guide me a to a job, totally different, this Fall. My salary is much lower, my benefits not nearly as good, little insurance, and it is for an organization that is so different, it is hard to support something so secular and so opposite my career with the Church that each day is so hard to get through.
Don't misunderstand my disappointment with a lack of gratitude. I am SO thankful that God gave me a job to help us survive, but that is all I feel I am doing, surviving.
It has been nearly 10 months since I found out about my layoff --- it still hurts me a lot. It has placed stress on my family, and certainly my marriage. I cannot imagine that this is what God wants for me. Please prayer for me and all who suffer. Lord, let me know what it is I need to pray for and to do.
I pray for each of you and offer you my deepest thanks.