Prayers Needed


#1

Ever sine I was a little girl, I have had trouble making and keeping friends. As an adult, it is the same. No-one seems to want to be my friend.
I’m either too LOUD for some people or too quiet. I either put my foot in it or shy away.

When I make an effort to meet people no-body seems to talk back or want to be my friend and I seem to say the stupidest things.

Even as a kid when I did something that I meant to be nice it somehow backfired and I just feel like such a screw-up.

I’m 24 and still live at home. I seem to cause my family problems too and I want to move out but have no-one to move in with not a friend or relative.

I also get panic attacks bad so stuff I get family members to do for me like certain shopping I would have to do myself.

My elder sister has a temper and it’s too hard to live here anymore. I would love to meet new people but whenever I do, they aren’t into being my friend it seems.

Is there a prayer one can say to get you out of feeling hopeless and fearfull all the time?

I just don’t know what to do. if I leave I’ll have no way to get around and get business done and if I stay my sister and family will drive me insane.
My sister even hits me on occasion and if I hit her back it just makes it worse.

I love my family but need my independence The thing is, living alone would be very lonely and scary because I don’t have any other friends.

I’ve tried making friends elsewhere and there just aren’t any places a practically agorophobic person can go now.

I wasn’t always like this and maybe that’s way I started staying in more.
I’m always friendly but I seem to never get anything right.

Don’t wanna be a screw-up forever.

I’m really lonely but I don’t wanna bring others down as I am depressed a lot aswell.


#2

May the Lord grant you peace in this time of need.

First, let me say that no one is a “screw up”. We are all God’s children, and He loves us. We make mistakes, we *can *screw up, but that does not make us one big walking problem. Everyone has a dignity that far surpasses the sum of our failures.

When you meet people, I would recommend trying to talk to people one-on-one. If you meet a group of people who are already friends with each other, it’s going to be very intimidating. You’ll feel compelled to “fit in” to *their *group. In social places, talk to someone who isn’t with a group. You’ll already have something in common to start with – neither of you came with anyone. Introduce yourself, see if you have any common interests. If you enjoy each others company, make plans to meet again. Also, friendships, like any other relationships, are mutual. Both parties should benefit the other. Ask yourself what you can do for the other person that might show them you’re sincere and not just looking for a friend because you don’t have any. And don’t worry about being too loud, quiet, etc. Be yourself – sincerity will make more of an impression no matter what.

So you’re 24 and still live at home. Ok. I’m a little younger, but I have friends that I have no doubt will still be living at home when they’re 24.

Regarding family problems, even if you are partly to blame for whatever these problems are, you are not the only one. If you and your sister don’t get along, she is just as much to blame as you. It takes 2 to sustain a disagreement. Taking the full load of the guilt upon yourself is not going to help anyone. While we’re on the topic of your sister…you’re both adults. If you’re still hitting each other, this has moved beyond the realm of sibling bickery and into domestic violence. Don’t let her do it anymore. If it takes moving out to stop it, do it immediately.

I’m afraid there is no specific prayer that will magically lift all your feelings of helplessness and depression. It doesn’t work that way. But building a relationship with God can make you a far stronger person, and will help you overcome your difficulties. I don’t know if you’re Catholic or not, but if you feel comfortable with doing so, seek out a priest. They can wonderful counselors and are usually very willing to meet with anyone who needs help. I don’t have room in this post, but I will follow this with a list of prayers that can help you build a better relationship with God.

You also mention panic attacks, agoraphobia, and depression. It sounds like there may be underlying psychological or medical causes for some of your problems. You should seriously consider seeking medical counsel from a psychiatrist, or maybe just your general practitioner. These things can be caused by chemical imbalances, most times they are not your fault at all, and they can be treated.

Believe me, you are a wonderful person in God’s eyes. He made you and He loves you. Turn to Him and He will see you through this. I see your user name is NoFear. That is wonderful, for the Lord says be not afraid! Trust in Him and things will get better, I promise.


#3

I was going to type out a number of prayers, but this site is far better than anything I could do:

catholic.org/clife/prayers/

The site has thousands of prayers organized by intention (Prayers for life, perserverance, etc). Also look at the Basic Prayers section. It has many that you can use to mediate on God and what He wants for your life.

God Bless.


#4

Thanks. I also tend to hit myself and scratch at my face at times. I don’t want to tell a Dr that as I’ll be locked up.
I Pray God will help me through this I would never kill myself but if I wasn’t a Christian I prolly would have by now.

I’ll check out those Prayers. Thanks God Bless All.


#5

My prayers are with you, too, during this difficult time. Yes, remember that you are God’s child and HE LOVES YOU just the way you are!

Have you spoken with a priest? Are your parents supportive? Do you have another adult relative in your life to talk with (aunt? grandparent?) I’m sure there are many in your life who love you and will help you.

**Pray and ask God to send you the friends you need. ** I said this prayer several years ago when I was struggling with my faith, and Our Lord has been so good to me in providing friends with a strong faith. It’s funny, because a couple of these friends are people I probably wouldn’t have chosen on my own (before my faith began to grow and develop) but have become some of my dearest friends!

It might be important for you to **talk with your doctor ** about your depression and need to hurt yourself. You are not “crazy,” there may be a very logical explanation and part of it could be a chemical imbalance. If your MD isn’t helping, you might try a naturopathic doctor.

Also, remember that we are never truly alone. Not only is Jesus with us always, He has been through pain and suffering and loneliness Himself. Jesus said in Matthew 11:28-30 “Come unto me, all you that labor, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart. And you shall find rest unto your souls, for the burden I give you is light.”

This passage used to confuse me. If I’m putting on a yoke, won’t that make the burden heavier? But a “yoke” is defined as “a wooden frame with loops at either end, fitted around the necks of a pair of oxen.” A pair. Two. **Jesus is in the yoke with us, ** and the burden he gives us is light, He carries the heavy part.

Offer up your pain, loneliness, and depression to Him; He will sanctify your pain, make you holy and give you faith, trust and peace.

God be with you and bless you during this difficult time!


#6

I wish you peace…

a thought… you would like to get out? you would like to make friends? you would leave but then you can’t get around to do business?

Have you thought about a future in the service of the United States.
No kidding, the armed forces, and maybe i’m way off base here but it’s a thought… it’s hard not to just sit down and quit…** but don’t. **

A lot of people love and need you… The world, this country and these forums need you… You are important to those whose lives you intersect with. You may not think so right now, but you imput into this world is important… in fact it is an expected requirement.

Life is rough, and I know you knew that already… Consider the armed forces.It’s an opportunity to get away, to make new friends, you will be drawing enough income to provide for your getting around…

Most importantly you would be providing a valuable service and building a place for your self in this world… the shot to your self esteem would be a plus as well…

Please don’t think i’m not very concerned with your plight, and I certainly can see the frusturation in reading your post… I can see a certain amount of depression… I don’t know you, but I can see that the status quo is not working… Talk to someone who can be objective and cares… How about your priest (i’m assuming you catholic) or other person you trust…

I may be so far off base here and this may be the last thing from your mind, but it’s a proactive approach, and the idea of you continuing to sit in the world you describe sounds like a heck of a challenge…

As with the rest of the post, i include my thoughts and prayers… take care of your self… space ghost is out there watching… your not alone!.. :thumbsup:


#7

I seriously recommend speaking to a doctor about this, in spite of your fear of being “locked up.” There is VERY LITTLE chance that this would actually happen! As someone who has struggled through much depression and anxiety, I know that it can be a difficult thing to talk about. However, as Dr. Colossus mentions, there is a high probability that the most severe behaviors you describe are caused by a chemical imbalance that can be treated with medication. I am not ashamed to say that I use an antidepressant which has worked WONDERS for me and helped me to function normally in everyday life, whereas before I was given to serious emotional reactions to things I now know are normal parts of life.

As I read your posts, I am very concerned for you, and plead with you to seek help. Besides the possibility of medication, talking with a counselor can really lift a weight off your back. Although you have to take time to find the right person, once you do, you’ve got someone who HAS to be there for you :), and who will be that listening ear you are seeking. Believe me, if you can bring yourself to do this, it will be the first step towards being able to make friends and build relationships with others.

You are a valuable person. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks - God loves you unconditionally, and that’s the thing that matters most! If you can start with that, you will be able to see your own worth, and then find others who will see your worth as well. It may take time, but never give up! You are worth it!!!


#8

Dear fellow screw up

I would like you to remember this when ever you are feeling down, hurt or left out. You do have a friend and his name is Jesus Christ all you have to do is call his name and ask for the grace to deal with the situation. I started doing this a while back and I am a lot happier and have a lot more friends. One other thing I would like to share with you. I was lucky to meet with Blessed Mother Theresa in 1988 and she gave me some words that where life changing and have meant so much to me. She said “everything you do for him (Jesus)”. When we center on self we are domed to failure and sadness, but when center on others we find happiness, because we did it for Jesus.


#9

I’ll pray for you too! I am 23 and not looking to move out at all, partly to save money and all, but really until the Lord leads me to. My advice is to seek the Lord for help. Ask that you may hear His guidance and follow it, after all He is the Great Physician. He knows exaclty what you need. Also, try to get into bible studies or any church group where some good loving Chrisitans are. I have known people all my life, but so quickly have I formed great relationships with brothers and sisters in Christ’s body. You certainly have something to talk about with a church group-God! He is all your strength, and you will be in my prayers!
God Bless!!:slight_smile:


#10

I’ll pray for you too! I am 23 and not looking to move out at all, partly to save money and all, but really until the Lord leads me to. My advice is to seek the Lord for help. Ask that you may hear His guidance and follow it, after all He is the Great Physician. He knows exaclty what you need. Also, try to get into bible studies or any church group where some good loving Chrisitans are. I have known people all my life, but so quickly have I formed great relationships with brothers and sisters in Christ’s body. You certainly have something to talk about with a church group-God! He is all your strength, and you will be in my prayers!
God Bless!!:slight_smile:


#11

:slight_smile: I have put you on our parish prayer chain. Have patience, trust in God and talk to someone. Perhaps a priest or doctor. God love you very much. :heart:


#12

You have been given a lot of good advice by all the above. You are in my prayers.

I just wanted to add that St. Dymphna is patron of “emotional problems.” You can find something about her on www.newadvent.com * or at a webpage for saints. I think one was mentioned above.

I would seriously seek counseling [a good reliable, trustworthy and wise psychologist or psychiatrist].

You are special…maybe you need some time away from your sister so you don’t lose your own identity. Get a place of your own and join a class or YMCA or something. Keep busy and you won’t get lonely. You also might find some friends at those places.*


#13

“I don’t want to tell a Dr that as I’ll be locked up.”

Nonsense. A doctor will not lock you up, he/she will help you. I highly suggest getting help pulling yourself out of this place. You are not sick, nor are you a screw-up. But you do need help navigating the path to freedom from your anxiety and the by-products of anxiety. There’s a good joke that goes with doctors:

“How many shrinks does it take to change a light bulb?”

“One, as long as the light bulb wants to change.”

90% of therapy is what you do to help your self. 10% is the invaluable help the therapist gives you as you work your way through. Prayers help 100% !! :slight_smile:


#14

:gopray2:


#15

What wonderful advice the OP's have given! I have to concur with the folks who suggest a medical check-up first. Sometimes our shyness, introversion or lack of self-confidence is a result of depression, which you may have. The self-harm (the hitting yourself, etc.) especially requires examination, as does the physical exchanges with your sister. Do not be embarrassed about telling a professional about these things for fear you may be "locked up". Even if a dr told you it would help, no one can force your hand in this regard. Do pray. Us here in CAF know all about St. Dymphna, the patroness of those suffering from mental illnesses. Prayers to her have helped get me through many a rough time.

Saint Dymphna, I turn to you, dear virgin and martyr, confident of your power with God and of your willingness to take NoFear's cause into your hands. I praise and bless the Lord for giving you to us as patron of the nervous and emotionally disturbed. I firmly hope that through your kind intercession He will restore NoFear's lost serenity and peace of mind. May He speak to her heart and reassure her: “My peace I give you. Let not your heart be troubled nor let it be afraid.” Pray for her, dear St. Dymphna, that her nervous and emotional turmoil may cease, and that she may again know serenity and personal peace. Amen.

St. Dymphna, virgin and martyr, pray for us.
St. Dymphna, patroness of nervous and emotional illnesses, pray for us.
St. Dymphna, crowned for the glory in Heaven, pray for us.
St. Dymphna, faithful to your covenant with Christ, pray for us.
St. Dymphna, precious in the eyes of the Lord, pray for us.
St. Dymphna, our helper in every need, pray for us.
St. Dymphna, our friend at Heaven's court, pray for us.


#16

Lord God, please bless NoFear with the graces they need in their life. Surround them with people who can become good friends.

May the Lord grant you peace, calm, and confidence in yourself. You are a creature of God and as such, you are beautiful and worthy of love.


#17

Saint Dymphna, I turn to you, dear virgin and martyr, confident of your power with God and of your willingness to take NoFear's cause into your hands. I praise and bless the Lord for giving you to us as patron of the nervous and emotionally disturbed. I firmly hope that through your kind intercession He will restore NoFear's lost serenity and peace of mind. May He speak to her heart and reassure her: “My peace I give you. Let not your heart be troubled nor let it be afraid.” Pray for her, dear St. Dymphna, that her nervous and emotional turmoil may cease, and that she may again know serenity and personal peace. Amen.

St. Dymphna, virgin and martyr, pray for her.
St. Dymphna, patroness of nervous and emotional illnesses, pray for her.
St. Dymphna, crowned for the glory in Heaven, pray for her.
St. Dymphna, faithful to your covenant with Christ, pray for her.
St. Dymphna, precious in the eyes of the Lord, pray for her.
St. Dymphna, our helper in every need, pray for her.
St. Dymphna, our friend at Heaven's court, pray for her.


#18

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