Prayers please for my grandfather, and for me to forgive myself


#1

My grandfather passed away yesterday morning after a long hard fight with prostate cancer that had spread to his lymph nodes, brain and bones. in the end he was in such pain that you couldnt hug him with out it being excruciating. i cried my eyes out all day yesterday, i am doing much better today after some prayer and a sleeping pill which finally let me rest and allowed my husband to rest (he stayed up with me until about 1:30 this morning and finally suggested i take the medicine to help me sleep) i am fuzzy brained today, my eyes are swollen and puffy, and my heart still hearts. I hadnt seen him in a while, he was my stepmothers father, he always considered my sister and i his grandkids though, he was the sweetest man. so patient with the rowdyness of us, even when my dad would try and quiet us down he’d tell him to let kids be kids. I loved him more than anything for what he was to my step mother. i am very close to her, i have helped her through my father leaving her twice for another woman, through a relapse with her MS where i had to perform CPR and watch my step mother collapse and not breath on the kitchen floor. when my father left her the last time, she told me her dad was the only mad that was ever any good to her, she always talked about him. loved him so much. i loved him to. he even supported her staying with him when he left the other woman and came home. he was Catholic and believed in the sanctity of marriage and as much as he disliked my dad he loved us kids. sorry if this is long, i just need to get some things off of my chest. about three weeks ago my father called and told me that grandpa was dieing, and that i should try and come up there to see him. my father and i arent very close and the last thing i wanted to do was to go see him, besides i was going to come in October anyway and i would see him then, i didnt believe him, hes lied before to get me to do something he wanted and lieing about my grandpa dieing is not beneath him. i didnt call my grandpa or my step mother. i dont deal with death to well and maybe i was just trying to ignore it or not believe it because i didnt want to believe it. but somehow i cant forgive myself for not calling him, or not calling my step mom, i wanted to tell him how much i loved him and how much he meant to me, and what i saw in him and how i appreciated what he was to my step mother. my step mother reassured me that she was ok, and that everything was fine, not to cry anymore and that he knew i loved him. but i just cant get over what happened, i just cant get over feeling like a brat for not calling him, for not wanting to deal with it. what can i do? its too late, hes gone. i just dont know what to do.


#2

Oh TarAshly, I am so so sorry for your loss. I send my deepest condolences and know how hard it is for you right now.

My welsh Nana died several years ago and I hadn’t seen her for a couple of years. I was absolutely devastated, I loved her so much. I couldn’t stop crying at her funeral.

It was so hard and I felt guilty for not seeing her more often, BUT IT WASN’T MY FAULT, AND IT ISN’T YOURS NOW. You have to be strong and you will get through, you will be able to come to the same realisation as me. I’m sure your grandad knew you loved him so very very much and your love probably helped him those last days more.

Consider my prayers all yours, Michael


#3

My prayers are with you and your family. I’m sure right now your guilt is mixed up with sorrow and shock. In time your feeling will sort themselves out and you will be able to tell one from the other.

I think most of us have felt guilt when a loved one dies. That’s very normal. From what you have said, your grandpa loved you very much and I doubt that his feelings changed towards the end. You don’t need to explain as to why you didn’t go see him. Like I said, most of us have been there. As difficult as it is, try to focus on the good times and the love your grandpa shared with you.

Talk to him now. Let him know, once more, how much you loved him, how much joy he brought to your life and how much you learned from him. He will always be with you.

Let us know how you are doing.
May God bless you and your family,
Maggie


#4

I’m sorry for your pain. Prayer will help.

My condolences and I will remember your grandfather and you and family in prayer.

God Bless you, TarAshley


#5

I will pray that he makes it through purgatory,im sure he wont need to spend much time there!

He is heading for the eternal bliss of paradise my friend!


#6

Prayers for you, the rest of the family and grandpa’s soul!


#7

May the Lord grant your grandfather eternal rest and comfort be granted to you and yours.

Your love for him never dies and he knows that now and also just how much he meant to you. Good folks like your grandfather are undoubtedly in Heaven, where pain and suffering can no longer reach him. I’m sure he is praying for you even now.

My condolences, and may Christ’s Peace be with you.


#8

My deepest sympathy to you.

Your grandpa loves you, and God loves you. They want you to forgive yourself. I pray you do so.


#9

Our Father in Heaven
Holy be Your Name
Your Kingdom come
Your Will be done
On earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread
And forgive us our sins
As we forgive those who sin against us
Do not bring us to the test
But deliver us from evil.
Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace!
The Lord is with you
Blessed are you among women
And Blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God
Pray for us sinners
Now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

Glory be to the Father,
And to the Son,
And to the Holy Spirit.

As it was in the beginning
Is now and ever shall be
World without end.
Amen.

Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord,
And let perpetual light shine upon him.

May he rest in peace.
Amen.

May the souls of the faithfully departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace.
Amen.


#10

[quote="TarAshly, post:1, topic:31389"]
My grandfather passed away yesterday morning after a long hard fight with prostate cancer that had spread to his lymph nodes, brain and bones. in the end he was in such pain that you couldnt hug him with out it being excruciating. i cried my eyes out all day yesterday, i am doing much better today after some prayer and a sleeping pill which finally let me rest and allowed my husband to rest (he stayed up with me until about 1:30 this morning and finally suggested i take the medicine to help me sleep) i am fuzzy brained today, my eyes are swollen and puffy, and my heart still hearts. I hadnt seen him in a while, he was my stepmothers father, he always considered my sister and i his grandkids though, he was the sweetest man. so patient with the rowdyness of us, even when my dad would try and quiet us down he'd tell him to let kids be kids. I loved him more than anything for what he was to my step mother. i am very close to her, i have helped her through my father leaving her twice for another woman, through a relapse with her MS where i had to perform CPR and watch my step mother collapse and not breath on the kitchen floor. when my father left her the last time, she told me her dad was the only mad that was ever any good to her, she always talked about him. loved him so much. i loved him to. he even supported her staying with him when he left the other woman and came home. he was Catholic and believed in the sanctity of marriage and as much as he disliked my dad he loved us kids. sorry if this is long, i just need to get some things off of my chest. about three weeks ago my father called and told me that grandpa was dieing, and that i should try and come up there to see him. my father and i arent very close and the last thing i wanted to do was to go see him, besides i was going to come in October anyway and i would see him then, i didnt believe him, hes lied before to get me to do something he wanted and lieing about my grandpa dieing is not beneath him. i didnt call my grandpa or my step mother. i dont deal with death to well and maybe i was just trying to ignore it or not believe it because i didnt want to believe it. but somehow i cant forgive myself for not calling him, or not calling my step mom, i wanted to tell him how much i loved him and how much he meant to me, and what i saw in him and how i appreciated what he was to my step mother. my step mother reassured me that she was ok, and that everything was fine, not to cry anymore and that he knew i loved him. but i just cant get over what happened, i just cant get over feeling like a brat for not calling him, for not wanting to deal with it. what can i do? its too late, hes gone. i just dont know what to do.

[/quote]

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

Glory Be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning is now ever shall be world without end
Amen


#11

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.