Hello all —
I am writing today hoping for prayers and advice. I wrote on the forums a few months ago, and things have gotten worse since then. Even if no one posts back, my mind and heart and so overwhelmed, I need to just vent (though responses are always welcome ).
So here is the (short version of) story. My wife and I are within the first few years of marriage. We are deeply in love with one another and our marriage bonds are strong. When we met, she was a convert and a strongly devout woman. I myself was a “re-vert,” having come back to the Church after a decade away. We connected personally and spiritually and have had a strong bond ever since.
The problem that has come up is thus. She has had an attraction to women for a long time (about 13 years) and thinks that she is bisexual. She told me about this before we got married, but assured me it would never be an issue. And to be honest, I believed her and judged her based on her merits. Throughout our friendship and then engagement period, this problem never reared its head. Indeed, within our first year or so of marriage, it was fine. But then the temptations came on her part. She would view pornography and things like this, but never sought out someone.
Recently, she told me that she has posted in different websites as a bisexual looking for a woman. To be sure, she says she is married and doesn’t want to leave me in these posts. Nonetheless, this sort of thing is a moral no-no and while secular men jump at these things, it frightens me. Moreover, I myself struggled with temptation over the years.
What makes matters worse is that she is out of town for the week and I discovered (admittedly through snooping) that she posted on a website saying she wants to “get together” sometime during this week. It frightens me that she might actually go through with this.
Any advice or help? Even if not, prayers are welcome. I do not believe in divorce, but this whole thing is destroying my psyche and is weighing heavily on my dissertation (I am a Ph.D. student). I love her deeply, and would forgive her, but I would not be able to just forget. I am just so confused.
~ Loving Husband