praying for death?

Is it a sin to pray for death? This year has been really hard on me and although I don’t want to commit suicide, I do pray for death. btw I am seeing a therapist.

also along the same lines of this year being hard for me, what do you do if you are at mass and want to break down crying? It’s happened to me a lot lately because church is the place I feel the most alone. I go to the bathroom sometimes but I don’t want to miss too much of mass because if I let myself I could cry through the whole thing. Does anyone have any tips, especially what to do if your eyes fill with tears and you don’t want anyone to see you crying? Would it just be best to go to the bathroom or step out for a minute?

I was telling my brother in law tonight about a special needs child who spent her early years in a dog kennel. She is with her grandmother now, and while she faces many obstacles, she is getting better, slowly as you might imagine.

I am not a Priest or a doctor, but no, I don’t think praying for death is a sin, but rather an indicator that you must be aggressive in your recovery. Due to the vast levels of negativity surrounding us many feel as you do. You are not unique. Prayerfully consider seeing someone who can advise you on medications that will help while working through these tough issues.

Ask God and use the Rosary to help bring balance to your life as well as healing. I spent much of my life seeking my own healing, it takes time, dedication and prayer. You are ahead of the battle as part of the cure lies with God, but part also lies within the fields of medicine and psychology.

I have to play an active role in my healing as God often simply points the way. I have to do the footwork myself. For now, this is your cross. Fight the good fight, and know that God and our Lord walks with you.

I’ve been there. I’ve been there recently. There are just times when the good in life doesn’t feel like it’s worth the bad. These are also the times when we feel most abandoned by God, and that’s the pain that’s worst of all.

On the issue of death, I know this isn’t the sunny-rainbow-smiles outlook that everyone expects depressed people should hear, but I just began to wonder what dying would actually accomplish. When you get so low that you can’t imagine heaven and you’re already bored with hell, death doesn’t really seem to have much to offer you. Then, if you have people in your life who would suffer because of your death, that’s something to consider, too. I’m pretty sure my siblings would eventually get over losing me, but it would destroy my parents. I also imagine my pets knowing that I’m not there to provide them with love anymore, but not really understanding why. Right now, I have to go on living in order to make this world a little more bearable for those I’d leave behind. I don’t know what I’ll do when they’re gone, but for right now I’m obliged to live.

As for crying in church, I don’t know how active you are in the Mass, but I’ve found that reciting the prayers and singing the songs can help to break the negative ruminations that bring me to tears. Praying before the Mass is hard, and occasionally a Bible passage (like the lilies of the field, or the exhortation to “ask and you shall receive”) will also cause me pain because it just feels like God is talking to everyone in the church but me. Still, there are lots of parts of the Mass that can help to get me out of my head.

I also find the psalms to be helpful. There really is a psalm for every occasion, and if you read through enough of them, you’ll find one that really speaks to how you’re feeling. Whereas most of the Bible is about God’s message to us, the Psalms are essentially letters from humanity to God, and the ones which put grievances before God offer a good general road map for working through emotions and pain and bringing it back to love.

Have you considered discussing all this with your priest? I did and it was incredibly helpful to me–but I had to really open up to him. I’ve had a pretty rotten year+ too. I’ve had a significant financial change–and not a good one. I’m living far from where I consider home with little chance of ever being able to afford to move home—and I’m too crippled with arthritis to have much social involvement–even if I wanted it, which I’m not sure I do. Right now, I feel more like just being alone as much as possible frankly.–and in addition, I just came back to the church after falling away for 30 years. To top ALL this off, my youngest of 5 kids has recently told my husband and I that she’s gay and plans to marry her girlfriend. I blame my years away from the church for her hedanisitic, non-Catholic behavior now–and it most likely is my fault. You can’t imagine the guilt and sorrow I have when I think of God’s mercy to me and sometimes I too get tearful in church–especially if a particular sermon or reading touches my heart deeply. I always set in the back of the church and stuff plenty of tissue in my pocket–and if I need to use it, 99% of the congregation can’t see you if you set in the back pew! I Thus, nobody but me and father are aware that I don’t have the worst case of allergies this side of hell! LOL!

As to praying for death, I’ve done that too–though I have no intention of adding that one to what I call my “cavalcade of sins”. I changed my prayer though to this one: “Jesus, you see how bent in grief and sadness I am in this world and that joy has left my life. You see how tired I am of just waking up each day. I am ready to come home whenever you decide it’s alright for me. If you are ready and think that I’m ready to meet you in judgment and be accepted into heaven, then please consider letting me come to you now. If, on the other hand, you want me to remain here for another day, week month or even several years to atone for my sins and to become more pleasing to you, then let your will always be done–not mine, and I offer my time here to you.” I guess I consider this a safe prayer where I share with God up front how I feel–though I know that He already knows–while avoiding self pity or such. That’s just my opinion.:thumbsup:

There’s nothing about being gay that’s any more hedonistic than being straight. Homosexual activity is no more pleasurable or satisfying to homosexuals than heterosexual activity is to heterosexuals, and there’s nothing in your comment that would suggest she’s given in to promiscuity. The Church simply views homosexuality as being greatly disordered, in the same way that your chronic arthritis is greatly disordered. It’s a cross to bear, not a sin. In some ways, it’s less of a cross than many of us carry, because a homosexual person can still experience a beautiful, loving relationship with another person. That relationship naturally falls short of the ideal, but it’s still beautiful and precious in its own right even if that relationship can’t ever lead to a valid marriage.

Believe me, you know zilch about my daughter. And while she certainly could enjoy a loving relationship, she won’t–at least until and unless God changes her. She’s having all together too much fun doing everything wrong.

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