I’ve been Catholic all my life and strayed when in my late thirties, when they had Vatican II. I was not pleased with all the changes and could not adjust, so instead I drifted away.
I returned to the fold many yeas ago and have since tried to be a good Catholic, receiving my Communion each Sunday and loving the Lord with my whole heart and soul.
I’m embarrassed to explain what I’m feeling, but if I can’t come here, where can I go? Let me explain my problem.
I love Our Blessed Mother and hold her in the highest honor. She is the Mother of Our Lord, and I believe all that the church teaches, but for just a few things that disturb me a bit and I’ve never had the courage to ask a priest from my shame.
I’m confessing that I cannot pray to Mary. I just can’t. I’ve read books regarding Our Lady, I’ve prayed about it, and so often I’ve tried praying the rosary but my mind just can’t seem to accept praying to her. It just seems a litany to me, with no meaning in my heart, and even while I’m praying to Mary, all I do is focus on Jesus and not her. I can’t seem to focus when I pray to Mary, Our Mother.
This hurts me deeply and I feel I offend her by being the way I am. I’m forever apologizing to her, and explain that I love her son so much that I cannot pray to anyone but Him. My desire is for Jesus only and no other. I also do not pray to saints, but honor and revere them highly. Our Lady of course, is even above them.
In all other ways I am a devoted Catholic and adhere and believe in all the teachings of the one Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church, I receive the sacraments, and Honor our Lady in most ways, except through prayer.
Is there anyone that can give me a little advice and to bring my heart a little peace about this.
God bless you and I will await some good advice from my Catholic brothers and sisters.