[quote="Liberanosamalo, post:33, topic:193855"]
Just contemplate, though, the chaos if everyone could claim that what is in their heart is paramount and there is no need for an external forum to determine the validity of a marriage and examine it. The same church that witnesses the bond between the man and woman suddenly becomes irrelevant if one or the other decides to leave?
If that were the case, there would be no permanence in marriage as people would just figure they'd leave and claim no one knew what was in their hearts and if there was no bond, there was no bond.
Now, I know people do that anyway... they walk away from marriage vows. And some may not have meant it in their hearts or were incapable of carrying out the duties of marriage. But just as the guilt or innocence of a physical crime is not determined by whether a prisoner "feels" guilty in his heart or if the lynch mob has determined guilt and has a rope handy, but needs an external legal forum... well, imagine the similar chaos if that were left to people to decide in their hearts.
You say the people in the tribunal cannot accurately grasp what anyone is feeling... well, annulments aren't granted based just on feelings. They are granted based on behavior... demonstrable behavior that puts a lie to words said on an altar. Behavior that indicates the carrying out of what was in the heart.
Doesn't matter what's in the heart if it's never put into play. You can enter marriage fully intending never to have children. But your spouse accidentally gets pregnant. The world never knew you never intended children.
Or you could enter never intending to be faithful. But you could be so nasty that no one would have an affair with you and so you never get to carry out your infidelity.
Or you could enter intending to divorce eventually. But as long as you don't file the papers yet, your intent and what's in your heart will never go before the tribunal.
It's actions that bring a case before the tribunal. And the actions may first be sins in the heart, but until they are committed... the tribunal doesn't involve itself.
So don't discount the validity of a tribunal.
Per your post, then the tribunal will have no problem with granting the annulment being that she filed and left in addition to seeing another man while in the marriage. Her actions showed that only if the marraige went her way, then she would stay, otherwise, she would leave. Those were her reasons... because we did not have the marraige she imagined we would have, she left.
Fort the people who keep saying that they may not grant one... my question is why would they not? Specifics... also you are saying I need to go back with someone who is not civilly married to me and do what? It makes no sense to me to try and make something work that is obviously not gonna happen.