I just read a thread concerning people’s opinions on a young woman getting married a few months after her baby was born and… gasp, having a large wedding to celebrate! Ahhh it brought back all the main reasons why I am not married and why I hate the idea of getting married in an organized religion centered ceremony. The small minded judgments made on a person that only the op had ever even met is just horrible to me.
Well, I am currently pregnant and engaged. If we decided today to go talk to the priest tomorrow, we would be able to get married in the Catholic church March 4th, 2010… three months after our third child will be born. Hmmm… that’s a lot of threes, might be lucky! That is also six months where our children won’t get to live with their daddy. That is my fiance having to miss out on the first three months of one of his children’s lives. To me, those are things that I am not willing to sacrifice.
This leaves me in the horrible position of either appearing to choose to continue living in sin (bad option #1) going against my conscience (bad option #2 and one that could have many bad effects) lying to a priest ( bad option #3 even if thats how every couple I know who has been married in the Catholic church achieved it) getting married in a civil ceremony before the babies due and convalidating it asap (bad option #4 and seems pointless to me and isn’t something I want as I am very spiritual, but it would tone the gossip and judgments down as we would “technically be married”) go through regular Catholic wedding channels and get married in 6 months (bad option #5,difficult and not fun going through classes pregnant, tests pregnant, and trying to plan wedding while pregnant and with newborn) Its easy judging someone who is pregnant and unmarried. Their sin is outwardly showing and they are easy to pick on. There aren’t always good options. Its not always a simple choice of getting married before the baby comes. Judgmental people will always exploit any sin that they can see.