Okay, forgive the length of this post. I tried to make an appointment with my priest this morning, but his secretary left early for the day, and I can’t call back until Monday. So, I’d like some solid, faithful advice from those wiser than me. (I will still speak with Father next week, but DH suggested I post, too, since this is eating at me.)
Situation #1: Brother lives with girlfriend, they have 2 year old DD. They live in town. I have never visited their home, and did not help them move. They are welcome in my home (not overnight). The only people who are Catholic are myself, DH, and DD.
Situation #2: Sister lives with fiance. They live out of state. Before I found out they were cohabiting, I enthusiastically agreed to visit her this fall. I told her that now, I cannot stay at her home, eat meals there, assemble wedding favors there, etc., but I would still like to make the trip (I just can’t go see her house, and we could do everything at my hotel room). Rehearsal dinner is planned to take place at her residence, I am Matron of Honor. What a pickle. Again, the only Catholics are me, DH, and DD. When my sister announced the living situation, the family was mad at me for being “judgmental” despite knowing my stance (brother moved in with girlfriend before sister moved in with fiance). There should have been no surprises. :shrug:
Situation #3: DH’s best friend informed us he will be moving in with Catholic girlfriend and proposing marriage soon. Girlfriend is civilly divorced from a Muslim man (less than 1 year). Told DH that we can only attend the wedding if they get married in the Church, since the woman is Catholic. Her mother has encouraged her to seek a declaration of nullity, but she has not done so yet (don’t know if she was married in the Church the first time or not). It is highly likely DH will be asked to be a groomsman. (More pickles… )
My take on all of these situations: Politely take a stand, don’t show approval, don’t visit in their homes, but make them welcome in mine. DH says I am being too harsh and restrictive, and that I am turning people off.
I don’t think I forgot anything…
What say you?