We had our parish priest over for dinner awhile back and during our interesting conversation throughout he evening he casually commented about a woman being beautiful (public figure) when we were discussing her. He is a wonderful priest and has energized our parish beyond measure but it did hang a bit uncomfortably for me. I am not sitting in judgement of him or assume anything sinful, but I am curious what other Catholics might think about this and if this just might be more common than I realize.
He’s still a man. It’s perfectly fine to comment on someones attractiveness.
One can appreciate someone’s beauty, whether inner or outer, without a sexual overtone.
Unless the priest was punctuating his comments with suggestive remarks or gestures or catcalls, I think you need to give him the benefit of the doubt.
Yes really if this was his only comment on that particular person without any other comments about her physical appearance etc. being made then I’d definitely let it pass. He was at your home for dinner not at the ambo or in a clerical duty at the time. He is a human male, he does have eyes, he commented on her beauty. OK in this instance.
I guess the question is whether you think it’s ever acceptable for a man to express his admiration for a woman other than his wife. If so, I am not sure that there’s any difference between a married man commenting on another woman and a priest commenting on any woman. I am a married man, but I certainly don’t think there’s anything wrong with occasionally remarking on a woman other than my wife. Not in a sinful way, of course, just an observational way. Examples: I have definitely said that when National Lampoon’s Vacation first came out, I didn’t appreciate what a beautiful woman Beverly D’Angelo was. I have definitely described my son’s girlfriend as beautiful as well as other things such as smart, funny, and kind. If somebody chooses to think I am lusting after a young lady who is my probable future daughter-in-law, that is their problem.
That said, clearly some people are uncomfortable about this kind of remark coming from a priest, so perhaps it would indeed be prudent if priests held back from making such comments unless they are fairly certain of their audience.
Yes, just because he is a priest doesn’t mean he can’t have an eye for beauty - be it a flower, a sunset, a painting, a woman, etc.
I agree with all of this. I will say thankfully no one at the table was upset or anything but we all did a little RCA dog head tilt because it wasn’t expected for sure! In other company however there could be a different outcome.
Interesting that someone else with a different user name asked the very same thing.
You are not supposed to have more than one account.
Hello. I am trying to cancel my old account, I’m sure as you know specifics and certain usernames, past questions, etc could identify my parish and priest quite easily and this was to protect him. Thank you for the concern.
Also, if you could edit out the user name you posted I would appreciate it, thank you!
You can’t cancel your account.
Sure I can, but everyone can still read what I posted.
Well, you could do that, but people can still read what you delete for 24 hours. You might want to familiarize yourself with the site’s TOS.
Can you please delete your response?
I already told you I cannot delete it entirely.
And nothing you said is giving away your parish anyway.
I saw you edited, thank you. Since your comment wasn’t contributing to my question and I explained why I chose another user name are you able to delete your comment (that will fall off in 24 hours) please? This question won’t fall off in 24 hours but your comment and it’s edits will. Seems like a lot of energy is being given to this incredibly small favor. I’m sorry if I haven’t been clear enough from the beginning.
Just my two cents
There was once a priest, who in defense of someone who was bullied by being called ugly, commented that she was beautiful when the opportunity presented itself.
He was countering the wrong and uncharitable chatter from the laity.
He was purposefully showing a good example to others.
He was trying.
Besides, whats the outer beauty to Christ, when He would prefer that women adorn themselves with the virtues?
Is not she more beautiful wearing these?
And thats my two cents worth.
Imagine their scandal if they met a priest who was married prior to being ordained!!! The shock!
I once read a magazine article about a priest whose three teenage children attended Mass regularly in his parish. He had been widowed at a young age and that was when he discerned his vocation and was accepted at a seminary. Having experienced a few years of married life, the vow of celibacy was no challenge at all for him, he said.