Priest doesn't want to have meal with us?

Hi all!

I have a priest who does not want to have a meal with my family every time we ask him to come for one. But if another family comes over and tells him their problems and asks him to go over for a meal, he says “Yes!” straightaway.

Why is this so? Ps, my family has never told him any problems we had.

It might be because he’s waiting for those in need to ask for help, but I’m not sure. If you ever have a problem you need his help with, perhaps he’ll come over.

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You make it sound as though you all ask him over for meal on a weekly basis. How often do you all extend these offers?

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Our pastor rarely accepts invitations to homes. He prefers to rest. He also doesn’t want to be seen as having favorites. The only time he goes for a meal is when it’s a faith gathering of couples or small faith groups within the parish.
If you would like to do something kind for him, either have a Mass said somewhere else for him or give him a gasoline card for his glove box. They put a ridiculous amount of miles on their cars, and are always running low.

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Maybe once or twice every year?

:joy: OK, much better! I was gonna say, “Poor guy! No wonder he refuses!” :joy:

Chances are, he doesn’t want to be seen as repeatedly visiting with you. People might think he has a preference toward your family. He may not know how to phrase it without causing offense, so he just avoids the issue.

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Hmmm… he’s my Godparent eh.

That being the case, you should just ask him.

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Me? Ask him personally? Cos I have never asked before; it’s always my parents doing the request. Will he accept MY request? That’s my concern :slight_smile:

Actually, I meant that you should just ask him why it seems he hasn’t come over in a while. He likely has a very reasonable explanation.

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He has never come over. But do you think it is rude and insensitive of me to ask him? Concerned of this because I am from an Asian society.

Now I see! Your original post makes it seem that he has been over once or twice but has since refused.

I can’t speak to your cultural considerations since I am not Asian or even aware of how these customs work. Might be best to leave it to your parents.

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Honestly, this seems like a communication issue. There’s a million reasons why this could be happening.

My priest will not accept offers unless at least 4 other adults will be there if there are minors. This is for American “safe environment” reasons but may extend to other cultures.

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How far in advance do you ask? Many priests can’t do “hey, want to come to dinner tomorrow?”. Call and ask when he will be available for a dinner.

You say he is your godfather, so, he likely knows your family well. He may feel more comfortable with your family and be able to say now without worrying he will offend. Priests are “ON” so much, maybe invite him for something that is more of a leisure thing. “Hey, we have family game night on Thursday” or “We are going fishing on Friday next month” or just ask him to come with your family for pizza, beer and a movie. Priests are human beings with the same need for down time to relax as the rest of us.

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You know I love our priest and I know he loves all of us but I am not going to be inviting him to dinner anytime real soon because we are both busy living our lives. and the parishes in my small town have emerged but all the buildings are used because one buildung will not accomodate all the people and he has to rotate between 6 buildings both for weekday and weekend masses.I am greatful that he stands at the front of the church and shakes hands with everone before hurrying off to the next church building. Thank you for the idea to get him a gasoline card I will probably do that for his birthday.



A very good friend of mine is a priest. And he does visit and have coffee with me every so often. But he is very busy so if I text him he may not get back to me for a week, then he may not be free for a few weeks after that, in the end it normally takes a few weeks to organise a dinner or a coffee. Priests are normally swamped.


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