I was troubled by a response that I was given by not one but two priests at the same parish concerning a question I had about spousal infidelity. Here’s the summary. I had a friend who sadly was involved in a sexual relationship with another person who was married. I was shocked when I heard the news, and I admit, with my passionate stance on fidelity, I had questioned whether this was a friendship I wanted to continue…hence, my reasoning for going and talking with a priest. I had posed the question to both of them, “Don’t you think it’s appropriate for the cheating partner to tell his spouse about the infidelity?”
His response…started with "typically, we counsel these person (s)…etc.etc.’
The use of “typically” almost made me lose faith in today’s climate on marriage (not the Priest’s fault), but what he and another priest said is that if the cheating partner is putting at risk the unity of the family or the wife, then, no, he should not tell his wife.
I had a REALLY hard time with this response. 1) so the cheating partner is not really responsible for his actions? 2), he is putting at risk the health of his wife if he gets any STD, 3) omitting the Truth is lying is it not? Did the Church just say it’s ok to lie?
If someone could kindly give me feedback on these responses, I would greatly appreciate, because I have been considering talking again to these Priests and telling them that I think this is bad counsel!