Priests contradicting each other on basic beliefs


#1

As I’ve mentioned in an earlier thread a few days ago, I have recently learned that I am in an invalid marriage (lack of canonical form, and I had a previous marriage that wasn’t annulled).

I am handling the annulment now. And I can’t get my current marriage blessed until the annulment is finalized. This situation truly stemmed from my ignorance in the faith, not willful disregard for Church teaching.

Now here is what I have been told by three different priests concerning my current situation and the Sacraments:

My Parish Priest: “you cannot receive Reconciliation or Communion until your current marriage is blessed, even if you and your wife live chastely as brother and sister.”

A Roman Catholic military Chaplain: “you can receive Reconciliation but not Communion, even if you and your wife live chastely as brother and sister.”

Fr Serpa on this website: “you can and should go to Confession, and if you live chastely like brother and sister you may also receive Communion.”

Now What?


#2

Confession and living as brother and sister may be a remedy. Fr. Serpa is correct. But there are other considerations as well. If your irregular marriage situation is known to others in the parish, it may be a problem if you receive Communion. Sometimes a priest will say you can receive Communion only where you and your marriage situation are not known. The best advise is to consult the priest who knows both you and your parish well.


#3

Fr Serpa


#4

If you are serious about living like brother and sister I would go with Fr Serpa.


#5

I’m assuming your parish priest knows the most about you and your situation. Thus he can give the best advice.

I think asking online is good, but there isn’t the ability to go back and forth to ask questions or clarify points.


#6

I have never spoken to my parish priest personally. We have a very large church and when I tried to email him to set up an appointment regarding this issue, he never responded.

Here is what I am going to do. Today I am going to confess entering an invalid marriage out of ignorance five years ago. I am going to do my penance, remain chaste with my spouse until my marriage is blessed, and begin receiving Communion again tomorrow.

My intent is to do God’s will. I have already submitted my annulment paperwork, and the marriage vows I exchanged with my current spouse were practically Catholic. The minister was a PhD theologian in the Presbyterian Church and he sealed our union with the Trinitarian vows. I will still get my marriage convalidated as soon as possible, but in the meantime I don’t need a Tribunal of strangers to tell me that what I did with my wife five years ago was of God’s will. I already know it was, in my heart and soul. And God does too.


#7

In your original post you said you had advice from three different priests:

My Parish Priest: “you cannot receive Reconciliation or Communion until your current marriage is blessed, even if you and your wife live chastely as brother and sister.”

How could he tell you that if you never spoke to him?

I’m very confused.


#8

[quote="SuscipeMeDomine, post:7, topic:189519"]
How could he tell you that if you never spoke to him?

I'm very confused.

[/quote]

He said it to the entire church during his homily.


#9

OK, so you have your answer, at least in a general sense.

I would still be inclined to make an appointment to speak with him directly. Call the parish office and tell the secretary you need to make an appointment to see the priest. You don’t need to explain the details to her (“a pastoral matter” will suffice) and then talk with him about your situation.


#10

[quote="SuscipeMeDomine, post:9, topic:189519"]
OK, so you have your answer, at least in a general sense.

I would still be inclined to make an appointment to speak with him directly. Call the parish office and tell the secretary you need to make an appointment to see the priest. You don't need to explain the details to her ("a pastoral matter" will suffice) and then talk with him about your situation.

[/quote]

Well, I just came from Confession. Father was truly stumped when I asked him if I could receive Communion as long as me and my current (civil) spouse did not have marital relations in our home. I explained to him that we would have separate bedrooms. He said that he wasn't sure what to do regarding Communion and that he would need to contact the head theologian in my Archdiocese. Then he said that until he got his answer he wanted me to receive the Eucharist tomorrow and visit him again next Saturday for further instructions regarding Communion.

My penance was to recite the Rosary. I am grateful for God's mercy.


#11

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