I hope Moral Theology is the right forum.
This situation is complicated…I’ll try to keep it simple. NB: My objections are IMO.
My father is 75 yrs old, moved to Florida to retire and be closer to my brother 15 years ago. He got into the Catholic prison ministry as soon as he got there…so it’s very much part of his life and volunteer work. That being said, he is acting completely inappropriately --IMO – with the prisoners. He gives them his home address, they’ve been there upon release. He has stupidly mailed more than a few of them $1,000’s through the years. My father has no concept of how these prisoners manipulate and groom people in order to take advantage of them, I have no doubt that the “word has spread” that this man is a fool.
Making matters worse–my brother is a guard at one prison my dad goes to. Dad sees this as a huge talking point with the prisoners. He has no sense of boundaries. He tells these prisoners things like, “next time you see (name) tell him…” Usually personal stuff or money related stuff. My brother ONLY has this prison job for 20 years now. He failed the psychological exam first and appealed it to finally get the job. He was in special Ed in school, so I figure the part he failed was the “saying NO” and “don’t let the prisoners manipulate you” portion of the exam…
I don’t want to disrespect my dad, but he won’t listen to (my) reasoning about having firm boundaries with the prisoners. If he loses money, that’s his money to lose, but I am very concerned about his stupid actions getting my brother fired. I read a book about “prisoner seduction”. An example from the book was a true Incident in which a WARDEN let a PEDOPHILE move into his home and subsequently the pedophile molested the warden’s young daughter! The warden was seduced by prisoner to completely believe he was innocent… That’s how deep “prisoner seduction” can go. They have all day to dream up ways to use a tiny bit of personal info about the guards, while the guards don’t think about them AT ALL (unless there’s something wrong with guard or guard has already been compromised by prisoner.)
To make a long story short, should I report my dad as being incompetent to continue prison ministry? If so, do I call the prison and give his name? I don’t know who is in charge of the particular ministry in which my dad participates. I don’t know what to do. I have talked to my dad for the past 2-3 years and he thinks these people are his friends, he will not listen to reason. I don’t even think he does much ministering, he thinks it’s a social opportunity IMO. Thank you!