This is gonna sound really bad, so brace yourself.
My father’s sister, my favorite aunt, has died today. Cancer.
Here’s my problem. Although she was my favorite aunt, and I loved her to death, I’m not all broken up about her dying. It’s not like I didn’t want her around, or like I don’t care. I just don’t get all worked up about people dying. I’m really not that emotional.
Whenever someone dies, the rest of my family get’s all worked up, crying all over the place, drinking like mad, talking for days about how sad life is without them. And they get MAD at me for not being sad. I just don’t feel sad when someone dies. I really don’t like going to funerals either, but I usually go to avoid the fight.
My real question is this. Should I defend myself when they attack me, or is this one of the ways they work through their grief? That’s about the only reason I’ll let them get away with it. I’m not prone to letting people come down on me. I really can’t stand when someone tells me how I should feel. But if they “need” to go through this, then I’ll allow it gracefully.
What do you think? Fire away. I know I sound like a jerk, but I’m really not. Just don’t feel bad when someone dies.