Much too complicated a personal story to go into here, but suffice it to say I am in a unique (tragically) position in my life and am consecrated to Jesus. I have been under serious attack for quite a long time and am actively searching for guidance, so I begged Him to “let me see You” last night. And, I had a dream. A very odd, unique, and incredible dream. I DID “see” Him in a way that was quite unexpected.
So I have this Priest (I am a cantor in his church on Saturday) that is my confessor and knows all about my lifelong strange spiritual encounters. He’s much like me, in fact, in that he has had many such experiences. I don’t ordinarily go to him and report my dreams so for me to do that means something. I went to his church at Noon to spend three hours in front of the Blessed Sacrament in its reposed position and to see if I could obtain a Host for a housebound neighbor. He was actually in the church so he led me to the tabernacle where the Blessed Sacrament was reposed in order to get me a Host. This was across the church and he and I were practically alone (there was one man in front of the Blessed Sacrament praying and two teenage boys walking across the church to the outside doors). I began to attempt to tell him about this dream, which was (to repeat myself, sorry) mind boggling to me. He stepped away from me as I was in the middle of talking and approached the two boys and shook their hands, and then returned to me as we were walking and said nothing more. In other words, he totally ignored what I had been trying to tell him.
I really trust this Priest but I feel totally dismissed and am starting to worry if he thinks I’m some sort of wacko. Being hypersensitive to rejection is a huge problem for me (I lost my daughter at age 23 two years ago and am now diagnosed with complex post traumatic stress disorder). Am I over reacting? A voice of reason would be appreciated. Is it an error for me to take this personally? Even worse (and so hard for me to do), should I talk to him about this? Should I tell him it bothered me so much and that I was looking for his guidance and advice? Should I just let it go? I’m really distressed by it. Thanks for your feedback.