Problems with friends over calling to learn instrument


Hi everyone,
Out of curiousity, has anyone felt called to learn a musical instrument and yet as they slowly learn, they receive all sorts of garbage by so called Christians, especially by one idiot. This guy is from my church and we got into the ukulele because of a mutual friend. He uses it as therapy while I play for pleasure. He started to play the ukulele a few months before I did but I couldn’t get into it as much as he did for several reasons. A) I was finishing a masters degree, B) I was recovering from wrist surgery, C) I was extremely sick. For instance for several months I was very anemic, D) I was suffering from a burn out and I was dealing with other health issues as well. It’s been a tough year.

I’m wondering if I’m wasting my time with this instrument and wondering what I should do? I love playing when this idiot isn’t shooting his mouth off and putting me down. The things that have been said I would get banned for repeating.

It has been going on for months and it’s really bringing down my spirit. I would love to know if others encountered the same situation.

Thanks SG


Why exactly do you tolerate someone else verbally abusing you?


I’m learning the uke, too. Why not play on your own, at home, for pleasure? You don’t need to tell anyone about it.


Hi Secret Garden,

I guess that I am a little bit confused about something in your post that isn’t clear to me.

Do you play with him in your parish, or do you just talk about your lessons with him, or is he just giving you advice? :confused:

If you still feeling like playing, then I would just play when you can at your own pace, and do it for fun. I would just tell him that, too–that you will be doing that, and that you will be playing at your own pace.


Is there any reason you would have to talk about the ukulele with him or practice around him? I would continue to do what I enjoy and not quit just because of one idiot (why give someone else that much control over me?), but would not share my progress with them or show any interest in their opinion. If that meant finding another time for lessons or practice, so be it.

Depending on the person, I might give them an opportunity to realize their own rudeness, such as by saying, “Excuse me? I don’t appreciate that.” Sometimes I’ve had people try saying that it’s “just a joke,” and I’d reply, “Jokes are supposed to be funny. What you said is just disrespectful (or rude).” A few people get the hint and apologize, but other people are just jerks and will continue to make unwelcome comments. I do not give them the satisfaction of upsetting me–I walk away before that happens. The less I associate with them, the less their opinion matters to me.

We should pray for those people and not wish them ill, but that doesn’t mean we have to associate with them any more than necessary–and we certainly don’t have to put up with disrespect and verbal abuse. Still, I know it can be frustrating, especially when you’ve put up with it for a while.

Will pray for your situation. :gopray2:


Your saying he uses the ukulele as therapy seems to indicate he has other problems as well. He may be jealous of you. If you don’t share an apartment or something like that, just play on your own. I heartily recommend music making as I am a musician.


So don’t play with him. :coffeeread:


You are probably wasting more time hanging out with this person than you are in playing the instrument, IMO. You don’t have to hang out with people who bring you down. You can be polite and nice to them, and pray for them, but you don’t have to be around them otherwise.


I started playing the ukulele when I was 12 yrs. old. My father taught me. Once I learned a few chords, I was able to practice alone.
This is what you should do. Play on your own without this antagonistic person.

The uke led me to guitar lessons & playing with bands and now I play a midi guitar as a one man entertainer. 

See what a simple thing as the ukulele can lead to?

Break away from this guy…not the uke! :thumbsup:


Unless this guy’s name is Jake Shimabukuro, he has no room to talk about ukulele skills.

And Jake Shimabukuro is a nice guy, who promotes other people learning the ukulele.

Your “buddy” sounds like he’s pretty insecure, and I feel sorry for him. There’s nothing more fun than two friends playing music together, or the more experienced one giving tips to the less experienced one. He has cut himself off from the fun, poor guy.


I had had some piano lessons as a young girl and thought that I would take some more lessons in my late 20’s. The “teacher” told me that my playing was similar to Pavlov’s dogs. I knew what he meant. My hands respond to the notes on the page rather than from real knowledge of what those notes are. But knowing what he meant was no help at all. I did not touch a single musical instrument or sing for seven years. I was devastated.

Then one morning I realized that I was letting a bitter old man take away something that was precious to me. That was years ago. I began playing again. I learned to play the guitar. Music has opened doors for me and has given me a great deal of pleasure.

I will never be a great musician but I accompany the choir in church and I often sing during Mass and I belong to a Community Choir.

Do not - I repeat - do not let bitter mean people take hold of any part of your life. If you love music, work at it and love it.


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