[quote="TXRednexican, post:9, topic:238919"]
I fully understand the insight on the cellphones and what not. However, if I don't have a cell phone, my wife doesn't either, then why should I commit myself to a contract just for my teenagers who aren't even driving? I can't see the rationalization with it, to be honest. I have no problems if they get jobs, and get their own cell phones. But, I have a problem with paying for a service, that I, or my wife, don't use. Just to appease their childish whims.
Well, I hate to tell you this but it is 3 against 1 right now. Your wife, her mother, and your daughter are all siding against you, and you are not going to win this one. It is heartbreaking to see your daughter run away to her grandmother and it should not happen, that grandma would interfere like that, but in your case, what can you do?
You can't just go and drag her back home, not without your wife's support and your MIL's cooperation.
Do you have younger children? In that case, you really must address this or they will watch the whole thing and "learn" that they can get between dad and mom and get what they want from mom. You need to sit down with your wife (is she Catholic?) and get all of this out on the table - what you expect from your kids as they become teens, what about dating, what about sex, etc. and find out if you can agree on anything. If not, there is a lot of trouble ahead. Your kids will all rebel against you if your wife is subtly undermining your discipline.
Do not change your standards though. Tell your daughter that she needs to come home and work these things out with her mother and you, not run away to her grandmother. Tell her that you will listen to her POV and try to make adjustments where you can. The facebook account can be provisional, and you can make sure she friends you, so you can see everything she does on that. I would go halves on a cell phone but tell her you get to check her texts and phone calls at random, no erasing them or she doesn't have the phone.
You see, right now you have no carrots, only sticks. Technology in moderation can be a great incentive to behave well.