Problems with the teacher


#1

I wrote a thread once in the parenting section of this site about my dd 2nd grade teacher. We are having problems again with her. The first problem was that she gave my daughter a reading test on a story that she did not read and she got a “F” on it. I addressed it and she said that she did read it for she got a perfect score on her vocabulary test on this story. I saw the vocab. test and a first grader could figure out what the word meaning. Anyway, I let it go since my dd was getting an A in the class anyway. Now, she was sick again and missed one day last week and was sent home with some phonics paper to complete. She did and I checked them. On Friday she brings all her work home for the week and I saw the phonics papers and they did not have a grade on it so I shreded it. If it has just a check on it, I toss it for she brings home to much papers. I keep the papers with grades on it for each quarter until report cards and toss it after that too. Anyway on Saturday night I am looking online at my dd grades and she received two zeros for her phonic papers. I wrote a note to the teacher and she said that dd forgot to put her name on them and I know she didn’t for I did. She also stated that these papers would have a grade not a check on them. She told me that she was going to copy them and give them to dd for a retake. She has not done so yet. In the meantime, my dd missed two more days this week for being sick again. She came home with a lot of work to do this weekend. As she was reading me her religion homework that was for the two days she missed, she told me that she had a test on this on Friday, yesterday. She told me she did not do good for she answered them all wrong, as she read the correct answer. I asked if she ever read these pages in class before Wednesday and she said no. Wednesday and Thursdays were the day she was absent. I don’t think that it is fair again to let now three more grades to go by without a fight for what is right. In the meantime, about a month ago, I ran into the old assistant teacher for this 2nd grade teacher and asked her if she had problems with her. She said that she was the reason she had left the school and this 2nd grade teacher made her life a living hell. She told me that when she doens’t like you forget it, she will never like you. She told me also that she is a liar to parents and to herself a lot. I believe it for she lied to my dh and I about yelling at our daughter about an incident that we wrote down in a letter. I believe our daughter. She is also now telling me that my dd forgot to write her name on these paper when I have the shreded evidence and her name is on it. I would hate to have to tape up all four pages to prove her wrong and I should not have to, she should believe the parents. I still have these papers in case she keeps the zeros and not give her the grades she deserves. She did the work and they checked off on it and if they forgot to grade it that is their mistake, not my dd. By they, I mean the assistant teacher and the teacher.

What would you do? First there is the two zero grades and now the religion test that I am sure she has failed and was never given the chance to read the material first.


#2

Meet, in person with the teacher. If that doesn’t solve the problem, involve the principal. If that doesn’t solve the issue, either request a new teacher (if there’s another of the same grade) or find a new school. If you do transfer, make sure you document the problems and write a letter to the teacher, principal, school board, superintendent, etc about why you left the school.

Hope that helps.

Jennifer


#3

From personal experience you cannot let this go.
This happened to me. My daughter was treated in a horrible way by a teacher. An incident happened that I ended up going to the principal about. I wanted to do more but my daughter asked me not to. My daughter does not remember that she only remembers that I let the teacher get away with it. :mad:

The previous advise is sound. Meet with the teacher and be polite but don’t back down. Yes take the pasted paper with you too. If she gives you any grief tell her maybe you should have a mediation with the principal and do it. The next step after the principal is the superintendent and then the school board. I would bet that if you seem resolved not to let the matter drop you will find her more cooperative and she might let up on your daughter. Keep everything and keep a diary of events.


#4

And document all of your conferences and communications regarding this issue, along with their outcomes.

Also, bring the assignments in question to such meetings and conferences.

Also, talk to your daughter. Sometimes when kids can develop anxiety about their grades, and they don’t turn in assignments, even after they have completed them and shown them to their parents.


#5

I have re-read the extremely confusing and hard to follow OP 3 times, and my impression is that this child has missed school several times in the semester, the makeup work has been sent home, but the parent has failed to help the child actually do and turn in the make-up work and to teach the material covered. Therefore the child has naturally failed the tests that cover this material. If the parent had gone to school and gotten the work sooner, the child could have worked while at home sick and kept up with the class.

If this was my child I would be back at the pediatrician finding out why my kid is sick so much instead of blaming the teacher for doing her job.


#6

You’ve already spoken with the teacher, and clearly the two of you are not seeing eye to eye. Talk with the principal, and hold nothing back. Share all of your concerns, your taped together papers, and the things you’ve heard from the former assistant. Be complete with your thoughts and concerns. Work with the principal to find a solution, since both you and the principal want the same thing – for your daughter to learn and grow and do well in school.

As a mom and a teacher, I know that we moms sometimes see things a little askew (or sometimes just one-sided) of reality when it comes to our kids. And I know how I get when things are clearly not as they should be. As a teacher, I know that parents get like this when it comes to their kids, and I love them all the more for their devotion to their little ones. If you don’t feel this teacher will listen or is on your daughter’s side, don’t even try to have a conversation with her. You’ll just be arguing and defensive, rather than trying to find a real solution.

You all are in my prayers.


#7

Puzzleannie, I must respectfully disagree. Clearly you are not a mom, or you would understand that when it comes to our children, we moms become mother bears when it comes to how we perceive others are treating our precious little ones. Just because you disagree with nana3 doesn’t mean you must lash out with accusations and condemnations. There is another path of compassion, charity, and gentle redirection. Just because an opinion is mine does not mean it is the truth. The same goes with you and all others. Something to keep in mind.

As for you comment about the pediatrician, I’m certain nana3 can determine when it’s time to take her daughter to the doctor. Perhaps we should each consider taking our attitudes towards and our judgments of others to the Physician of Souls, Jesus, in a conversation with our confessor.

Blessings of our gentle and loving Lord.

Gertie


#8

Maybe in your confusion you misread it. I read it and did not conclude anything like this. (in fact it is so unlike anything you have written before, puzzleannie, I wondered if someone hijacked your name!).

My conclusion is that this teacher places a high priority on being right, and does not want to have her mistakes pointed out, let alone correct them. Nana3 backing down the first time let her go ahead and do it again. She needs to be stood up to. I’d stay calm, try not to get personal, and persevere concerning the matter at hand.

I came to a different conclusion about the child’s sick days (primary school children, new to the germ pool, do get sick a lot!). I thought that with a teacher like this, the child experiences stress all day in school, and no wonder she is getting sick.


#9

Well, if she is missing days due to illness, you should first pick up her homework the days she is gone so she can have it completed when she returns. Otherwise, if she returns and THEN picks up what was done previously, she will be that much farther behind. Our school policy is that when kids are gone due to illness, homework must be picked up at the end of each day and returned when the child returns.

Second, don’t shred ANYTHING until you have looked online FIRST! That would save time and re-doing work, plus you would have proof.

Third, make sure your child is indeed turning in her work. Part of my job in the classroom is to track down missing work (due to illness, forgetfulness, etc). I do this once a week. EVERY WEEK there are students who SWEAR they turned it in. They look into my eyes and get all sad and worried looking and GUARANTEE they put it on the teacher’s desk. Well, I go through their desk or their pocket file folders with them, and GUESS WHAT?! Nine times out of ten, I find them in the student’s belongings! Now, I could ask once, say it wasn’t there, and give a 0, but I do go through and help them find it. (These are 5th graders, so I imagine it is worse with 2nd graders!)

Kids get pre-occupied, spacey, were in the bathroom, or just not listening when the instructions to turn the papers in were given.

Talk to the teacher, save the papers, and get the homework done BEFORE she returns to school.


#10

I think you have mis-read the post.

I remember nana’s first post where her daughter as sick, did the make up work and teacher said it was never turned in.

Now again the make up work was turned in and apparently not recorded and returned back to the student, again the teacher says it was never turned in.

The test was given on Friday after the daughter missed Wed. and Thurs. for being sick. If a child is home sick I think it’s hardly fair for it to be expected of a second grader to complete all the work while home sick and be ready for a test on the material on the first day she returns back.

Even when I was in highschool, we were not expected to take a test on material we had missed on the day of returning from being home sick. I hardly think it’s fair of a second grader.


#11

Wow. Boy am I glad I home school. If a child is home sick they are still required to complete a full day of homework while they are sick? I can’t imagine making my daughter do school work while she’s sick. That’s just nuts.


#12

Yes, you are so lucky you homeschool! And you can pace the work to her interst/capacity and energy, for the most part.

I hope I can find a way to do it again. I have been hoping some time now, and haven’t given up, because I am stubborn I guess…


#13

First of all, my dd is rarely sick. The week before this last week, she had a stomach ache and she has had these before and they are constipation problems. I have to give her fleet’s enemas sometimes, per doctor orders. When she missed this day, my niece brought home her missed work which she did and turned in the next day. This last time where she missed Wednesday and Thursday, it was due to fever. The schools policy is that you must give the teachers 24 hours notice if you want their absent work. So if she was absent one day, you really could not get the work, but again it is up to the teacher. DD first grade teacher would not do it, but this teacher does if she wants to. You don’t have to make your child do homework when they are sick and I don’t if dd has a fever or feeling real bad. You have three days or more, depending on the missed work to have it turned in to the school.

I did not fail to make my dd do her homework or not help her at all. You do not know me. I help her all the time and check all work before she turns it in to the teacher. I always help her study when she has a test coming up at least a week in advance. This time the teacher gave for homework on Wednesday, when dd was absent to read a certain chapter and that there would be a test on Friday. My dd came back to school on Friday and was given the test without given the chance to read the material. It was never given to her. The school does not require us to come the day our children are sick and pick up the work missed, as I said they have a policy that you need to give them 24 hours notice. My niece forgot to pick up the work on Thursday, but again it didn’t matter for you have three days to make up the work and I knew my dd would get the missed work on Friday when she returned. She had missed days before and when a test was given and she missed days during the week, they call her out of the class and not give her the test. This teacher did not do this for her this time. As far as the papers she got a zero on for the missed day the week before, she did do this work at home with me on the day she missed the work. It was picked up by my niece and I gave the work for my dd to do. She turned it in the next day, but was given zeros for supposely not putting her name on the paper. As I said above, she had her name on it for I wrote her name on them. The teacher is denying that my dd put her name on it and therefore, gave her a zero on both papers. This is unfair for she did do the work and the teacher is saying she did but did not put her name on it. If the teacher was correct and I am wrong, then she can show me these papers with no name on it, for according to her they had not gone home. It did come home and I saw it, but shredded it for it did not have a grade but a check mark on it which tells me she did check it and found no errors.

Let me also add that this teacher doesn’t like my dh and I for an incident over making her class genuflect when you enter the church. We had to go over her head to the principal and to the pastor of the church who made them make the second grade class genuflect. This is what she is mad at us over her. She doesn’t like me and from what her old assistant teacher told me, if she doesn’t like you she will never like you.

As far as your pediatrician remark, when my dd is really sick and needs to go, she does. She has more days where she gets sick during school days than in the summer. Kids get sick and pass it along. There is a virus going around now at the school and the staff tells us so so that we can keep an eye on our children. The school will not allow any child with a temperature of 99 degree or above in school for 24 hours. They consider this a fever. I don’t, but they do.


#14

I agree and don’t make dd do the work if she is feeling bad. Thank God the school give us a certain time to complete the work in.


#15

Wow—I am sooooo glad I homeschool also…It is a shame that little kids are at the mercy of teachers that hold grudges and have attitudes and the worst ones are the ones that refuse to work with the parents…


#16

I do agree that kids may forget to turn in something, but she did turn it in and it had the teachers check mark on it, but no grade. The teacher is denying this and said it would have a grade on it and that dd forgot to put her name on it. They get zeros if your name is not on the homework. I have learned not to shred anything, but I still have these papers and if I had to will tape them together. In second grade the kids have to take everything out of their folders and put it in the middle of their table and the assistant picks them up.


#17

It is sad when they hold grudges. She is also mad at my dd for telling us that she was yelled at for a letter my husband wrote about our dd being afraid to get up and getting an antibacterial wipe for her hands. She waited until my dd had to go to the restroom and when she came out yelled at her for being afraid. My dd cried the instant she got in the car at pickup time. We wrote this so that the teacher could tell her that she did not have to be scared and just get up and get a wipe if she needs one before her snack. She denies doing this and said she had a book in her hand and was on the way to the 4th grade class room. My dd says that she only had the letter, “daddy wrote” in her hand. I am friends with her old assistant teacher and she told me that this teacher is a liar and has lied to many parents.

I am not the only one with these complaints. I know of another mother new to the school whose daughter has severe breathing problems. She misses many days due to her illness and when she gets back to school has exams on things she did not get a chance to study. Her mother’s complaint is that she did not get the books to help her dd study.


#18

I am so angry at this teacher. She did give my daughter the phonic pages in question and I know my dd knew the material. The teacher wrote to me to tell me she gave her the test. When I checked online they were low “F’s” again, but not a zero. My dd is a straight A student. I decided to wait until today because they bring home all work done for the week on Fridays. I opened her Friday folder and found the two pages. She did not miss one question. They were all correct. She had “100%” but then crossed it out and put “50%.” I asked my dd if her name was written on it for it was written by the teacher so I thought she forgot to put her name on it. She told me that she received the test with her name on it already. I know this teacher and she has lied to us one to many times. She is going to say that she gave her the grade of 50% for not putting her name on it. I don’t understand how you can take off 50 points for not putting your name on it, which she said was already on there so she did not have to. My niece who is also in this school heard my complaints and said that her 4th grade teacher takes off 4 points if you forget to write your name. I can understand that, but not 50. Needless to say, I will not write anymore letters but want a parent teacher conference with her to see why she chose to give such a low grade when they are all correct.

I know that the teacher writes the names of students on the papers if they are absent so that she knows who needs to take them. SHe had my dd name written on other papers that she graded and gave 100%. How would you take care of this? If you met with her and she lies and says that my dd did not write her name, what would you do? My dd will probably get a B in this class, she has a low C average in there now. This is not the first time this teacher has done this and the first time, I let it go for my dd was getting an A. She can do this to others who may not be A students and this is not fair. I don’t know her reasoning for giving an F on a perfect paper. Any teachers out there understand this? If I am wrong, let me know? But for now, I will request a conference to confront her on these F’s.


#19

I wouldn’t just let this go, but do keep it in perspective. Also, keep in mind that a p*ssing contest between parent and teacher may not be what your child needs right now. She may just need support in coping with the unfairness that life will inevitably send her way.

My second-grade teacher gave me "B"s once, and when asked by my mother why, the teacher told her that none of the other kids got an “A”. The teacher thought it would be easier if the brighter ones all got the same grade, so there would be less competition for her to deal with.

My mother was still angry the last time we remembered this incident. She was over 65 and I was in my thirties…with my doctorate. I said, “Mom! It’s OK! I still got into graduate school!”

Your daughter’s long-term academic future is not going to hinge on the fairness of her second-grade teacher. Or her third grade teacher. Or her fourth grade teacher. At this age, her marks are there to inform you of her progress. That’s it.

This isn’t a bad time to let her know that your main concern is not with her marks, but with whether or not she is learning what she is supposed to be learning. If she is, and her marks fail to reflect that because some accident in the rules, then so be it. At her age, that is all that matters. That she doesn’t have the marks to show for all her hard work only means that her reward in heaven will be all the greater, for God will reward all that have not gotten their reward in the judgment on the Last Day. You two might pray for the teacher: That includes her. Perhaps through your intercession, the Good Lord may go easy on her for her pettiness. (If it turns out in the big scheme of things that you were being just as petty: well, you will be measured to as you measured out, so you’ll be covered there, too! :thumbsup: )


#20

time to call the principal…time to call the superintendent. although it is our responsibility to help our kids to get their work done…her parameters seem to set kids up for failure…especially if your daughter is not one of her favorites…it sounds like a favorites kinda thing. nonetheless…i’d call the principal…and explain things. GOOD LUCK TO YOU!


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