I posted for awhile as “forpain”, I wanted to confess, during the period when my ex-sister-in-law was, I discovered, monitoring my posts, and then left off posting for awhile.
I recently invited my father, who is so confused, to come to this site, and then realized he would instantly recognize my username if he caught sight of it and asked the forum what to do?
I pray he does. I tried re-registering with a different username but it didn’t go through, but I have resolved to keep posting as “lynnehelen” with the courage and faith that if my father notes me here the Lord will work it to the good. Anyway I felt secretive when I was posting under a different username and so many of you here have helped me as “lynnehelen”.
I wanted you to know that your recent prayers have brought me to a better place. I understand now about praying with the sweat of blood as Jesus did in Gethsemane, in all humility, I understand that it takes something out of you, it’s not idle words, and, as such, is effectual. And thank you especially for your prayers for me and my son. I have realized just how precarious he is and, Blessed Be the Name of the Lord!, in my prayers this morning I found help with the situation through recourse to a person in my life from long ago who knows me, where so many have forgotten, in a way that can help both me and, I believe, he can help my son in practical ways. Which we both need. It is difficult to explain about my “thought friends” but they are very real–people from the past who were close and involved as advisors, counselors, etc., over a long period of time before the disaster of my marriage. I cried and laughed tears of joy the other morning when i realized that this one particular old friend had ALWAYS been with me in ways I didn’t fully realize. And there is another such friend who has returned to me.
So I am continuing to focus on taking care of myself as the Lord has directed, as the best course for all involved, tears for my failure as a mother but–as I said-- my “old friend” who knows me from childhood–is able to shed light on this and through recourse to him and, always, the Sacred Heart of Jesus and God the Father, I feel tentatively, oh so tenuously hopeful for my son and in full possession of a better understanding of my situation in life here and how to conduct myself.
So God Bless you all and I pray you keep my tragedy-turned-to-hope --THROUGH YOUR PRAYER–in your hearts.