Puberty in Kids


#1

My oldest child turned 11 on Monday. As far as I know, he’s still pretty nieve when it comes to sex. He may have an idea - but thats all.
Not into girls and NO puff pitts (yet)… He’s starting the transition, but not full-blown! He and his closest friends are all in the same category :slight_smile: (thankfully).

My question is this:
what age did your kids go though puberty?
and HOW did you handle/discuss the physical (sexual) changes without giving TOO many details?


#2

I have been in the same situation with both my boys. The oldest is almost 15 and my younger one is 11 now. Both were (14 yr old) and are (11 yr old) like your son – not interested in girls particularly or asking questions about sex. I was stumped about what to do, and I asked a homeschooling friend of mine who has five children. She said she recommended initiating “the talk” (just the basic biological facts) because kids are going to hear about it from other kids at school. I’ve been pretty shocked at how sexually knowledgeable kids are these days. I’ve tried to shield mine from that as much as I can, but I can’t protect them from what they hear at school. Christopher West, who has written several books about John Paul II’s *Theology of the Body *has said a good way to start children on this issue is to explain and emphasize the beauty and meaning of the human body. Christopher West has a website (www.christopherwest.com) and you can contact them to find out what would be some good resources on how to share this topic with your son.


#3

My tactic of burying my head in the sand until she is much older was not a good one. DD came home from school with a leaflet about periods, which I found in her bag, and I was rather annoyed that the school did not consider it important to let me know that a “nurse” would be coming in to talk to them.
The leaflet was produced by the FPA, (family planning association) a pro-abortion humanist, contraceptive-pushing organisation, and it mentioned “having sex with a boy”.
My daughter is 9!
She had loads of questions and fears, so I wish they had told me, instead of leaving me to find a leaflet.
Get in there before school/peers/media does with some sound pro-family/pro-God teaching.


#4

Please tell me your daughter doesn’t go to a catholic school.


#5

Yikes! :bigyikes:

They’re teaching 9 year olds about sex now?
W/o your knowledge?
That’s terrible.

Where and what kind of school is this? Have you complained to the district?

Yikes! :bigyikes::bigyikes::bigyikes::bigyikes::bigyikes::bigyikes:

One way to find out how much your kids know about sex is to ask them. :slight_smile: If their school hasn’t beaten you to it, I think it’s good to combine the Church’s teachings with a fairly clinical description of the basics. And I guess keep tabs on what your schools are doing. They may not be as innocent as we think they are.

Yikes.


#6

Oh my goodness!!! Nine!!! Well, I guess it’s not too much younger than I was. I was in 5th grade (10). But that seems so much younger now. Kids really are growing up fast now…it’s amazing how much young kids know about sex. Definitely try to talk to them before the school does!!!


#7

I have 2 starting or going through puberty. From what I have found, they ABSOLUTELY know that their bodies and feelings are changing. You can start there. Mention to him that he "has probably started to notice a few things changing—i.e. thicker leg hair, possibly some zits, needing to wash hair more, etc.). Tell him it’s part of God’s plan, so that he can become a man. Maybe give him a heads up on what the next changes may be—armpit hair, voice changing, etc. Are you married, paulah? Could your husband talk to him? Especially about sexual feelings he may be starting to have. I truly believe that, even though boys at 11 may not be interested in girls, the girls are DEFINITELY interested in them. This “interest” may translate into “feelings” that are confusing to your son. A Dad can help him try to understand those feelings and maybe can begin discussions on purity or what God’s plan is for men.
It is a MUST that you begin discussions with him before his friends/school does, IMHO.


#8

Thanks for this feedback, Yall…

School sex talk at 9yrs old? My mouth literally dropped open. I agree with little rose - talk to the school officials in your area…
although…
down here in Louisiana, 9yr old girls are definately more advanced in puberty then the boys.

Gw: hmmmm, good idea about Dad handeling a discussion. You are right about the girls being interested in the boys at this age… and yes, Ive seen some of the physical changes starting. We’ve talked briefly about it - couple of times… when we noticed the changes beginning to happen. I think its time for a little more lengthy ‘talk’.

I saw on Amazon that Steve Wood (?I think?) has a book out for Dad’s to read… Dad’s that have boys. I cant remember if it was Steve Wood or another Catholic arthor/father.
Anyone know what Im talking about?.. and if so, any idea if the book is worth purchasing?
Last time I checked on it - it was only available in hardback.


#9

The school should have let you know about the talk, but I do think it is important that kids know about this stuff. I work in a school, and I can tell you for sure that we do have 9 year olds having their periods.

I can also tell you what talk I overhear on the playground - what boy likes what girl, who is ‘going with’ another (these ‘steadies’ last for a few days usually, and consists of them eating lunch together). Some kids definitely know what is going on!

This is a Catholic School, and these are 4th, 5th, and 6th graders. (9-12 years old).

I must say my kids all knew what was going on pretty early - 3rd grade probably. When they asked questions, I would give information. A little at first, and then more as the questions came. They wanted to know, and they were going to find out, either from me or from their pals. Who better to teach them than me (as their pals probably had mixed information, or just made it up!)

My 14 year old has asked a girl out to a school dance. My now 13 year old had girls calling him since about age 11. My now 11 year old is very well liked by most of the girls, and several have called to have him over to their houses and work with them on school projects, etc. I can see where this is going. We have talked! In my experience, it is the girls who are quite advanced and very pushy!


#10

Though I totally disagree with the school talking to your child about puberty issues/sex without first getting parental consent, thats what are district did, 9 years old is not way too young these days. There are a lot of girls who are starting their periods at 9 and 10 these days. Why I dont know, but the age of puberty physically has dropped and our childrens bodies are developing much earlier than before. I agree withthe poster that said, I would try to reach her before the school does so she has the correct facts and the moral understanding.


#11

This is not a Catholic School. It is a state-run bilingual primary school. The local Catholic School is the one I attended, and did more to undermine my faith than anything. At least with a state school, you know you are going to get this, and can teach them yourself.The previous Archbishop of this diocese once said that children are less likely to know and practice their faith if they go to a catholic school, than a state school. I know from my own experience that 98%+ will lapse, as the faith is presented in such a liberal, feeble manner, that it doesn’t inspire people.A teacher’s aide in my local catholic primary school (age 3-11) joked about overseeing a lesson where young boys were shown how to put a condom on. Nice to know my collection money is being put to good use!


#12

1 got her period right before she turned 13 and the other is getting closer at 11. I’ve read the “New Corinthians” program. It gives a lot of good examples of what to say. When they were heading off to camp at 10 I decided to prepare them for their period just in case. My launching point was an American Girl book called “The Care and Keeping of You”. It’s simply a hygiene book from head to toe. Absolutely no morality contained at all. Just how to keep yourself clean starting with your hair and moving on down. It contains how to use feminine products and a little on how bodies develop. There was not a thing it in about sex but it was pretty graphic in that it showed pictures on how to put in a tampon (my kids don’t wear them but I guess if they joined a swim team it might come in handy). The pictures are in cartoon form if you’re wondering. Anyways, I was surprised to find a book that explained things factually so well that didn’t have anything regarding the sexual act. Anyways, I’ve given it to my two daughter to read and then we sit and read the whole book together (well, one daughter at a time) just to make sure they are understanding what they’ve read. When my daughter got her period we went into a little more details since she had questions. Thankfully, the whole experience has been relatively painless for all of us.


#13

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.