Publically criticized - how should I respond?

I was just at a PTA meeting where I was thanking the PTA for having sponsored me to go on a course with a teacher from the school on a topic which I have been volunteering in the school regarding for two years. I have a good working relationship with the teacher but on explaining what we learned on the course she said to the entire meeting of principals, staff and teachers “It was very useful because I didn’t know anything about A and Kindness didn’t know anything about B and now she does”.

B is a topic that I have helped the school and parents with in detail. In fact I advised the head of the PTA about it and she was sitting at the meeting. The PTA told me they wanted to thank me for all my volunteer work and they offered to sponsor me for this career development.The teacher also knew that I gave a workshop to parents on the topic last Fall - in fact she took my notes from the event and said how great they were. Of course I have plenty of room for improvement, but I feel that the teacher threw me under the bus in front of the meeting.

What is an appropriate way to respond? Do you think I should ask the teacher why she said that - or not?

Up until this time I felt we were working so well as a team for the good of the school. I have good working relationships with everyone at the school.

Are you a fellow teacher, or are you a student or a teacher in training?

I would let it go.



According to Matthew 18:15-18, if you feel this is a matter you want to resolve, you should approach the other teacher in private and explain how you feel about what she said.

Since you have helped with the particular topic in the past and been recognized for it, I doubt that anyone there took that comment seriously or that it will harm your reputation. Regardless, if you feel hurt, it would be prudent to approach the teacher privately adn explain this.

I am a parent, I do not teach. It’s a new private school and I was helping students and parents with college counseling. All the students I helped got into their colleges of choice in the US, Canada and the UK. For a long time the level of management above the principal saw no value in providing college counseling help so I was volunteering. I do not suggest I am an expert but I am studying for a post-masters qualification. I just helped the teacher give a workshop today (at her request).

Maybe I am over reacting. I helped the PTA president’s son apply and get into college this year. I just felt so weird when the teacher said I knew nothing about what I was doing as she has no experience at all.She is about 15 years younger than me. I have been giving her lots of books and materials as she is starting to learn about advising for college.

Have I just lost any merit I might have gained from graciously picking up my (extremely little and light) cross? :smiley:

I would be the type to either say something to her or making sure she never helped me on another project again. It looks like she took credit that should have been yours.

well considering you are a Volunteer, you are free to approach this in any manner you choose, I would say you have lost no merit and would point to those you helped get into college, those people are the ones that know better.

How should you respond, more of a question of, do you want to respond ? If you want to make a response you could do a few things, wait for the next PTA meeting and find a way to bring up how you have helped so many through your volunteering, that your experience far exceeds any paid training on what you do… you would be better able to express what needs to be said, as to confronting this younger teacher, there are plenty of ways to approach the person, asking questions is a better way to go than confronting and blaming.
An if it is obvious this person knew that what was said was inappropriate or wrong and doesn’t care, then you have more to think about.

Plenty of people take advantage of others in the work force, and it is a shame, i have witnessed in my last professional job an engineer do nothing but be a poor salesman and when myself and coworkers needed proper blueprints to work off of, we didn’t because he just didn’t care enough to do his job properly, so in turn my coworkers who had the knowledge would re do the prints, give it back to him for approval and then do the work, while he took the credit and praise by upper management for a job well done.

An my older sister a sales manager experienced a similar problem as you for being thrown under the bus, a supposed friend and coworker who was younger , was using my sister for her expertise and learning the " tricks of the trade " and how to network, and would in turn find a way to literally put herself in a better position or throw my sister under the bus for something that she could have never accomplished with out my sister teaching her how to properly do the work in the first place.

So it does happen, and IF you have been purposely wronged in such a public manner, it is only worse for you because you are a volunteer, so now your kindness is being abused for someones’ personal gain. Perhaps be cautious around this person until you can discern the truth but do not be paranoid or eager to place blame, when it could just be a misunderstanding. It would be easier to tell if any of us were actually there to hear an see what happened at the meeting.

God Bless and know that you have made someones’ life easier getting into college.

Me too. She may not even realize what she said or how it came across to you.

You could just say, I was very confused that you said I knew nothing about B, considering that that’s what I’ve been working on for the past two years. did you just get confused, or what?

Since I am perfectly capable of saying the exact opposite of what I meant to say, I tend to give others the benefit of the doubt, but you might want to see what’s going on with her in case she’s trying to undermine you or something.

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