Purity question


#1

Okay folks, this must be my 137233827th thread on the issue of masturbation, I am so sorry. It is simply awful to talk [and to read] about this, but I have a very specific question to ask you: if you beggin masturbating and then resist and stop, have you already committed a mortal sin?

My specific question: Yesterday my parents told me that I couldn’t spend so much on phone calls to my girlfriend, and that made me feel lonely and experience masturbation and porn problems for the first time in many weeks. Today morning I immediatly went to confession.

But of course, in the afternoon, the temptation was strong, but I were not able to avoid it before the ‘act’. I decided to say “no” when I was already doing it. Was it a mortal sin?

In doubt, I’d go to confession AGAIN but I don’t want to look scrupulous.


#2

My take is that it is not a mortal sin. I would confess it (and soon) anyway, but I am scrupulous and so that last part may be tainted.


#3

I’m sorry you’re struggling with this - offering a prayer for you. :crossrc: :hug1:

I’m not certain, but I’d tend to think that whether you “complete” the act or not, it’s still a sin. :o I would check with your priest though.

Good for you for stopping though. :thumbsup: That must have been difficult, but see, you can stop with the grace that Jesus gives. Keep resisting and someday, with His help, I bet it won’t be an issue anymore. :slight_smile:


#4

Well, I’ll be confessing it tomorrow anyway. When one is uncertain, that’s the best way to do it.

Belle10: Thank you for your prayers. I feel I have to resist because my girlfriend often wants me to explain her the chastity issue all over again (usually after she talks with some friend), and, and I don’t want to behave like a pharisee (although all of us do sometimes).


#5

No problem on the prayers. It’s easy (and a privilege) to pray for someone, and it can make a big difference. :slight_smile:

I’m sorry you’re having trouble with your girlfriend. May I ask, are you in your teens? (I’m guessing so based on your mention of parents telling you not to be on the phone so much.) Those years can be difficult, but it seems as though you are trying to follow the teachings of the Church and you’ll be greatly rewarded for that. If your girlfriend continues to push the issue (of chastity) I hope you’ll be able to stay strong and do what you know is right. God bless. :slight_smile:


#6

Refer your girlfriend to her Priest, to her mother or to another Catholic woman for explination of Chasity issues. If these conversations are tempting you to sin, you should not have the conversation.

If you are not ready for marriage, a close exclusive relationship with someonoe of the opposite sex is not proper. Keep it to friends. Stick with having groups of friends, there is plenty of time later in life to discern marriage with a young lady.


#7

I’ve already started that process.

Those conversations don’t tempt me at all. They even help me. The question is that I’m not the appropriate person to explain her doubts all the time.

If everybody were suddenly ready for marriage, people would not have boyfriends or girlfriends. Hey, thats the purpose of having a relationship: help and know eachother to be ready for marriage. I’m 20 and although I don’t plan to marry in the next year, if things go as both expect, it’s likely that we could marry in 2010.


#8

Sorry, when you talked about your parents limiting phone time, I figured you were a young teen.

Serious one on one dating is for discerning marriage, sounds like you are beginning that process.


#9

That was because my monthly mobile phone bill was 81€ (almost 160 USD). Well, that’s mainly due to some excess and to the fact that I study away from my home city during the week and because my girlfriend was short on money during that month, and so I was the one who always had to call.


#10

That’s a lot, get her on a carrier that has free mobile to mobile minutes on the same carrier :slight_smile:


#11

I tried, but my operator (which is the same of 90% of my contacts, including her) hasn’t that option. The best I could arrange was an almost VIP plan called “Best 91” that allows you to call for 15 cents in the first minute, 4 on the following.


#12

I would guess that it was probably a sin but not mortal. But that is only my guess. I’m also not an expert in detecting scrupulosity. But I do know that frequent use of confession is a VERY valuble tool to help stop a sinful habit. So I’d be inclined to tell you to go to confession, not just because of the chance that the sin was mortal, but also because this is obviously a big temptation that is still after you. If you slipped up yesterday, and then also (or almost) today, you may really benefit from the grace to help you not make the same mistake tomorrow.


#13

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