I’m in my early 20’s and have never been in a relationship. As someone who has had a strong desire for the married life as long as I can remember, it has been extremely difficult being single. Guys who have been interested in me usually aren’t Catholic or if they are, they are not even semi-devoted to actually living their faith. It was hard, but I resisted dating people just for the sake of having someone, thinking that it was the “right” thing to do. As much as I despised being single, I tried to take the common advice and “embrace my singleness” viewing it as a gift. I worked on trying to be the best person I can be. I’ve graduated college, am financially stable, healthy, physically in shape, and have developed great friendships with many friends. I’ve remained involved with my church, volunteered leading youth groups, and participated in multiple young adult/Christian fellowship groups.
I’ve been trying to take the advice people give to singles and put it into practice, but I can’t help but feel like it isn’t “working.” (Of course, the goal is to grow in faith, not just do these things to find a spouse) but I have always felt such a strong desire in my heart for the married life, and I don’t believe the best way for me to serve God is through the single life. No matter how hard I try, I always feel closer to God when there are “potential love interests” in my life.
So my main question is what is the purpose of my singleness? I do not feel like I am reaching my potential (in terms of glorifying God) as a single person.
When I take a look at my Catholic friends who are in serious relationships, most of them don’t want to get married, they all use contraceptives, some live with their boyfriends, none of them want more than one kid and the ones who are open to having one child want to do so several years into the future and although they are good people, it doesn’t seem that their relationships are truly “Christ-centered.” (not to sound judgmental, just observations.)
So, why would God not bring someone into my life when I am committed to glorifying God in a relationship, I’ve never used any birth-control/contraceptives, I want to have 5+ children and I feel prepared for the married life. I hope I don’t sound like I am complaining, I am genuinely confused and looking for advice on how to deal with my growing sadness, disappointment, and seemingly unanswered prayers. Does anyone have any input on this?
Any thoughts or insight would be very helpful! Thank you!!