Question about a marriage between a Catholic and Non-Catholic


#1

Hello!

I’m new around here so I apologise in advance if someone has already asked this question before.

I am a Catholic and I have been baptised and confirmed. However, my boyfriend has not been baptised or confirmed. He says be believes in Christ and nearly every Sunday, he attends Mass with me. We have been discussing marriage recently but I have a few questions.

I want to get married in a Catholic Church. Is this possible? Would he have to get baptised first? Is there anything else we will have to do in order to get married in a Church?

I hope someone here will be able to shed some light on this for me. Thank you :slight_smile:

God bless,

Jo


#2

Welcome to CAF - don't EVER worry about repeating a thread - we will gladly argue about the same things for months. :D in a good hearted way - LOL

OK, yes it is possible to get married in the Church with dispensation from the bishop if your bf/fiance (whichever term you prefer - I do not want to offend) agrees to not be an impediment on you practicing the Catholic faith and agrees to raise children in the Catholic faith. However, all that being said even though it would be a valid marriage for you - it would not be a Sacramental one.

Now, here is the complicated part. Has your bf/fiance been married before? If this is the case then he would need a declaration of nullity as marriages are considered valid unless otherwise challenged and declared invalid. If he cannot receive one than he would not be free to marry you or anyone else in the Catholic Church. You as a practicing Catholic would not be free to date him.

My recommendation - marriage prep takes time. If he is interested in the Church- ask him to start RCIA.He is not committing to the Sacraments - he is getting more information. It is a process. If at the end of the year he decides that he wants the Sacraments - better for you both. If not and you still move forward with your marriage - he will need that information to help you raise children. If not and you don't marry - it saved you both much heartache.

God bless you and again welcome to CAF.


#3

I just wanted to say that I was once in your boyfriend’s shoes. My husband is the cradle Catholic and I considered myself a nondenominational Christian. At the time of our engagement, we talked with our parish and one of the “requirements” was for me to attend RCIA. Just for informational purposes but it was what led to me joining the Church. Marriage can be tough. You need God and your faith to fulfill that calling. Maybe this is God’s way to bring another to His Church. :slight_smile:


#4

I wanted to second the recommendation for your fiance to take RCIA classes. I think it's fantastic that he attends mass with you.. RCIA classes would be the next logical step. He doesn't have to agree to become Catholic to take the classes.. he can learn and see how it goes. It would be my prayer that he would be a fantastic sponsor who could really mentor him.

Your wedding day is just that.. one day. Your marriage is till death do you part with is hopefully a nice long lifetime together. It would be so much better for you both & your children if you were of the same faith.

God bless you both!


#5

My husband when we married was NOT Catholic and was NOT baptized. He did NOT go through RCIA as part of our marriage prep, however he did have to agree to raise the children Catholic. Not only did he have to agree with that to Msgr. as we were doing our marriage prep with him, but he also made that agreement again publicly during our Marriage Ceremony. We because of him not being Catholic and other family members chose to have the Marriage WITHOUT the Mass. Which basically means without the Liturgy of the Eucharist.

Today my husband is Catholic. He went to RCIA classes and converted the year after our marriage and shortly before our first child was born. He did that on his own accord.

PS: He also was very much like the OP boyfriend. He went to Mass with me every Sunday. It started when we were dating and continued on with our 15 month engagement. It continued on through our first year of marriage. After nearly 2 years of going to Sunday Mass with me weekly he decided to convert. Right before he decided to take RCIA classes I did church hop with them for a few weekends. I still went to Mass that weekend, but he wanted to go to non-Catholic Churches to be sure. That lasted for 2 weekends at 2 different churches.


#6

yes you can get married in the Catholic Church in fact you, because you are Catholic, must obey Catholic laws on marriage or you risk mortal sin and separation from the sacraments, which is the worst thing that can happen to a Catholic in this life. No he does not need to be baptized, but he does have to join you in the prescribed marriage preparation. He has to understand and accept the Catholic understanding of marriage and enter into it with the proper intent and consent, including openness to life. You must promise to remove any danger to your own faith, and to raise children of the marriage Catholic, and he must be informed of that promise and obligation on your part. You for your part must model Catholic life in Christ for him and thus open the door for him to come to Christ.
Make an appointment with your priest and discuss your personal situation with him.


#7

Thank you so much everyone! This has really helped clear a few things up.

I think I will try and speak with the priest at the Cathedral here as well.

Thank you again and may God bless you :slight_smile:


#8

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