Question about age gap in a potential relationship


Hi. :slight_smile:

I’m a 30 year old single Catholic man and there’s a young Catholic woman I like very much. She is 22 years old.

I’m just wondering though - what are your thoughts on the 8 year age gap?

Is it a problem?

Look forward to hearing your thoughts.



My BIL was 37 when he married his wife (yep, his first and only marriage), who was 19 at the time. Besides the usual “cradle robbing” jokes, a lot of people made comments about what a shame it was that one of them would be widowed at a young age.

They were right: after 10 years of a beautiful marriage and 3 beautiful children, my BIL’s WIFE died at the age of 29 from primary pulmonary hypertension, leaving my BIL to raise their 3 kids (the youngest who was 2) on his own at the age of 47.

Sorry, what was the question again???

FYI, my dad is eight years older than my mom… and they had their last child when Mom was 41 and Dad was 49. This year, they’ll have been married almost 56 years.

It works. :thumbsup:


My husband and I are 12 and a half years apart. He’s 30, I’m 43. :smiley:

We don’t have a problem with the age difference, though I had huge issues when we first met (online), but it’s no problem now. We have been married a year and a half.

Now down the road it may be an issue for us if I age quickly or poorly, but he is prepared for the possibility. And who knows, it may happen as the PP said, and our roles will be reversed!

I think it all depends on how mature both of you are. Depending on the couple that could be a chasm of difference, or it could be no big deal. Really depends on the two people involved.




If either person is ONLY able to get along with people much older or younger or if either one is going through a “Crisis” related to life’s changes and the relationship might be a reaction to it, or if either is inexperienced with people the other one’sa ge it could cause major problems. Otherwise, you’re both in the prime of your lives and there are bigger things to separate people than a few years. Don’t let eight summers stop you from what you both want.


Eight years is not a large difference at all. You are both adults, if you have similar maturity levels, then don’t worry.


I was once told that in order to compensate for the different maturity levels of men and women, a man should halve his age and add 7, the answer being the ideal age for his wife.

Of course it’s all very much tongue in cheek but for you half of your age + 7 is 22, so your just about right!! :wink:


I don’t think it’s an issue.


My brother is 42. His fiancee is 27. They are very happy



My mom was 33 and my dad was 26 when they got married. Now, 47 years later, they are still happily married.


My mom was 8 years older than my stepfather when they married. In July it will be 28 years, and they are still very happy. So, 8 years is not necessarily a real “gap”.


I think generally speaking the older the people are, the less the age gap becomes an issue. What I mean by that is someone who’s 35 dating someone who’s 45 is a lot different than someone who’s 20 dating someone who’s 30 – again, generally speaking. I know of instances where the latter example I gave worked well and I know of instances where it didn’t.

I think as one PP put it, it depends on the individuals in question. A question like this is hard to answer unless you know the personalities of both people.

Good luck!!!


I was 19 and my DH was 26 when we started dating. Now I am 26 and he is 33 and we’ve been happily married for 5 years.


I had to laugh when I read this. My husband and I met when he was 28 and I was 18. We married at almost-30 and 20, and we are now 36 and (as of today) 27. Nine and a half years apart, and couldn’t be happier.

If you’re on the same page in your faith, your values, your interests, 8 years is nothing.

My parents are EIGHTEEN years apart, and they just celebrated 34 years. :wink:


My husband is 10 years older than me… we started dating at 19/29, and got married at 22/32…
Now at 29/39 we’re expecting our third child and have been happily married for well over 7 years!

Age isn’t a factor. :slight_smile:


We are 13 years apart so I don’t think it’s a big deal at all. The important things are whether or not you have shared interests, values, etc. Of course your maturity levels are important also.


OMGosh… I didn’t know Liza!!! My dh is 10 yrs younger than me!!! I am 45 and he will be 35 soon…


Individual maturity levels will make more of a difference than a mere 8 years of age.

Note that we don’t really have perfectly identical ideas of maturity, nor is maturity consistent all across the board: some people will be more responsible, others will be more sagacious, yet others will be more morall upright.

This said, I consistently make better contact with women who are older than I am. :stuck_out_tongue:


Just a quick thanks to everyone who’s posted.

I’m currently on the verge of committing to a 14… well 13 year 11 month age gap and reading these replies has reassured me somewhat that it is about individual personalities…

Life’s too short to waste it, right? lol



It doesn’t really matter what our opinions are.

It depends entirely upon you two. Interests, values, beliefs, maturity, readiness for marriage, and other dimensions of a relationship are unique to the individuals involved.

The main thing is to ensure that you are communicating on values and goals. At 30, you may be ready to settle down. At 22, she may not. So, if you begin a relationship be clear on goals and expectations.


The rule is half the older person’s age plus seven. For the younger person it’s twice their age minus seven. If you take your age and do both formulas with it, you can get the age range for how old your partner should be.

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit