I hope everyone is doing well. After doing a considerable amount of reading and my attempting to understand the Catholic Religion (I mean no disrespect by this but I am trying to learn). I wanted to ask a few questions. I am sure these have been asked multiple times but I am hoping I can get some solid answers as far as guidance and learning. Please forgive if this has been asked before and I just missed it.
Being that I am not Catholic I have a very limited knowledge base of where to go for answers. My fiance a lovely woman whom I have known since high school are looking to get married (down the road) and one of the discussions that has come up is how this would work in the sense I have been previously married.
My fiance loves me to death and has basically said I will do anything to marry you even if it means outside of the Church. While I am not Catholic I am baptized as Methodist however, have only been in a Protestant church and Baptist churches (Due to family being Military and that is what they have on the post). I disagree with her choice and I don’t feel I am doing the right thing by asking her to make such choice. One in my thoughts shouldn’t be forced to make such a decision.
So as I am sure you know where I am leading to I googled (something I am good at) and have done a lot of reading on if I would even be allowed to potentially marry my fiance. I have also done a lot of looking in regards to understand things. One of the things I have come across was annulment. Which leads to my few questions.
I was married for 3 years. I was civilly divorced 2 weeks shy of my 4 years of marriage. The marriage for a lot of reasons went “wrong” through I am sure my fault but some of it was not. In the first year and a half or the second year my ex was talking to me about her liking other women since she was 12 years old. She had commented how she was attracted to a girl and would love to watch her undress. During this same conversation I was told how she had also had things for her first room mate from college (a female) and among other things told me some adult related items to that effect. After discussing this all with me she said she was Bi-Sexual Curious and wanted to have time with another woman.
To make the long story short I didn’t know what to do. She went off and started going to Bi-Sexual websites and eventually started asking to do swinging things. After all this happened shortly afterwards she basically left. She moved out of the house filed for divorce and moved in with a girl she and I had known for a while because her and my ex were having sexual experiences. Over and over and even involved other guys.
Now that the history is done I have been divorced for over a year and a half. The girl as I said am engaged to is my world. So there is no way I will let her betray her faith in such a manner. I want to do the right thing. She is not a very big into going to church and when she does I go with her. She nor I know what to do or if even I can marry her.
What are the chances of annulment in such situations?
Does it complicate an annulment process because I am not catholic nor was my ex?
One of the things from my research has been that I have to get statements from people who know about the relationship. My challenge to this is we didn’t have many friends outside of the circle she was in (swinging lifestyle) and those folks don’t talk about their private lives even if I could give them contact info (which I don’t have any). The only people who knew about us where co-workers and family. Outside of the working place we didn’t have friends because it was the two of us. How hard will this complicate things even further?
What is the proper steps for me to take at this point? I moved from the city I was married and lived in to another city. Does that complicate it more?
Thank you for your time. I am again sorry if these questions were asked before and I didn’t find them. I greatly appreciate everything I can be given. I am truly trying to learn a lot. Even listened to the Catholic radio station when I had Sirius always got a kick out of the Catholic Guy show.