Question about attending Mass


#1

First time post here and I have a question that's been bugging me for awhile. I was born and raised catholic. My parents aren't religious at all and never go to mass. They only go on Christmas and that's it. I try to go as often as I can. I am single and still live at home after college. I work full time but my job requires that I work Sunday Mornings. I try to get to the Saturday evening mass and make it most of the time, but once in awhile I don't make it. My parents always have me preoccupied with things. For instance, my dad always is working on projects around the house - painting, electrical work, car repairs and wants me to help him with it. Plus my mom loved to cook and always has dinner on table by 5pm every saturday - (right at mass time preventing me from going again. My questions is do you think it's a sin to miss mass for these reasons? I go to confession at least once a month whenever I do miss mass becuase of this, but just wanted to hear some other catholic's opinions. Thanks


#2

Have you asked your mother if she could hold off on supper so that you can attend Mass?

Perhaps you could even ask her to go with you?

Who knows?:shrug:

Maybe she might like to go with you.:slight_smile:

God bless!


#3

[quote="mikmac09, post:1, topic:337422"]
First time post here and I have a question that's been bugging me for awhile. I was born and raised catholic. My parents aren't religious at all and never go to mass. They only go on Christmas and that's it. I try to go as often as I can. I am single and still live at home after college. I work full time but my job requires that I work Sunday Mornings. I try to get to the Saturday evening mass and make it most of the time, but once in awhile I don't make it. My parents always have me preoccupied with things. For instance, my dad always is working on projects around the house - painting, electrical work, car repairs and wants me to help him with it. Plus my mom loved to cook and always has dinner on table by 5pm every saturday - (right at mass time preventing me from going again. My questions is do you think it's a sin to miss mass for these reasons? I go to confession at least once a month whenever I do miss mass becuase of this, but just wanted to hear some other catholic's opinions. Thanks

[/quote]

Yes. I do think it is a sin. Just tell your parents that you will eat when you return from Mass. You are an adult and, while you must honor your parents, that should not prevent you from attending Mass. You need to let them know that you are serious about practicing your religion and will be attending Saturday evening Mass because your job requires you to work on Sunday mornings.

Are there any churches near home, or near your work that have Mass at a time you can attend - at noon, or on Sunday evening. Many churches have Mass on Sunday afternoons.


#4

I actually went to confession about Sunday mass last week. I told Father that I missed several masses since my last confession (about 3 months ago). Without getting into many details here, he basically tells me the following:

We choose to go to church, or not go to church. Saying that we don't have time because it's too far, we don't have time, or because we are too tired are all just excuses. We all have to make our own priorities, and we should be making a Sunday commitment one of them.

He went on further to say that people make time to go to the beach, spend time working to make a living, and to visit family and friends. So, why not also make time for God, who make all of this possible?

It all made sense to me, and I'm sorry if I'm not explaining what he said with enough words. But when it all boils down, he was absolutely right. Regardless of the things going on around us in our day-to-day lives, we do have that free-will thing happening, so it really is up to us as individuals to decide what we are going to do about it.


#5

You are out of college, I am assuming that means you are an adult.

Being blunt, approach your faith as an adult.

As others said, ask your mother to delay dinner. If she says no, fine. Cook something for yourself after Mass.

Take control of your life and faith life -- if the only challenge to your faith is that Mom won't change dinnertime, then get on your knees and thank God for that. There are millions around the world who dodge bullets and hatred to get to Mass.


#6

I don't think I can say whether or not you are sinning, but I've had a similar struggle and it helped for me to talk to my priest about it.

Here's my story: I live at home during the holidays, and my parents are now agnostic and never go to Mass- so I know how tricky it can be.

Oftentimes mealtimes, unplanned family outings, etc and Mass time coincide with each other. What helps is if I tell my parents ahead of time when I need to go to Mass, and if it is possible to eat earlier, I'll offer to make dinner to speed things up.
If it doesn't work out, and a lot of times it doesn't, then I'll tell my parents that I will eat later- that I wish I could eat with them, but I needed to go to Mass. Same with helping my parents with projects- I would return after Mass to help them. It's great because at Mass God gives me the strength to help my parents more cheerfully and just do a better job :)

My parents do get upset occasionally when I have to miss out on meals and trips to go to Mass, and they will even at times try to talk me out of it. But I gently insist without starting an argument and they get over it quickly and are fine by the time I get home.

I see God working in my situation and it has definitely gotten better. Before they weren't happy to see me go to Mass and Sundays were days of extreme tension. They are starting to realize that Mass is not just an extracurricular activity or social event and that it is really important to me- a priority. As a result they now object to my Mass attendance much less than before. And they have even become curious and started asking me questions about Catholicism

I think my story shows that God really does want to be with us at Mass and he will do so much to make it work, if we trust him.

Praying for you! :gopray2:


#7

[quote="mikmac09, post:1, topic:337422"]
First time post here and I have a question that's been bugging me for awhile. I was born and raised catholic. My parents aren't religious at all and never go to mass. They only go on Christmas and that's it. I try to go as often as I can. I am single and still live at home after college. I work full time but my job requires that I work Sunday Mornings. I try to get to the Saturday evening mass and make it most of the time, but once in awhile I don't make it. My parents always have me preoccupied with things. For instance, my dad always is working on projects around the house - painting, electrical work, car repairs and wants me to help him with it. Plus my mom loved to cook and always has dinner on table by 5pm every saturday - (right at mass time preventing me from going again. My questions is do you think it's a sin to miss mass for these reasons? I go to confession at least once a month whenever I do miss mass becuase of this, but just wanted to hear some other catholic's opinions. Thanks

[/quote]

You need to make your parents understand that you will be attending Mass Saturday evenings, Period. Either that or you must get a job which will allow you to attend Mass on Sundays. Nothing except extreme illness or disability excuses us from the obligation to attend Mass on Sundays and Holy Days. We are not allowed to compromise our Faith just because we live in a secular society or because our loved ones do not honor the Faith. Remember what our Lord said, " I have come to set Father against Son, Son against Father, etc. " He is saying that nothing takes precedence over the obligation to follow Him.

Linus2nd


#8

[quote="mikmac09, post:1, topic:337422"]
First time post here and I have a question that's been bugging me for awhile. I was born and raised catholic. My parents aren't religious at all and never go to mass. They only go on Christmas and that's it. I try to go as often as I can. I am single and still live at home after college. I work full time but my job requires that I work Sunday Mornings. I try to get to the Saturday evening mass and make it most of the time, but once in awhile I don't make it. My parents always have me preoccupied with things. For instance, my dad always is working on projects around the house - painting, electrical work, car repairs and wants me to help him with it. Plus my mom loved to cook and always has dinner on table by 5pm every saturday - (right at mass time preventing me from going again. My questions is do you think it's a sin to miss mass for these reasons? I go to confession at least once a month whenever I do miss mass becuase of this, but just wanted to hear some other catholic's opinions. Thanks

[/quote]

Frankly, you have to make it clear to your parents that you are going to Mass.
None of the reasons you give for missing Mass are valid and if you miss Mass due to one of the things you mention then you are committing a sin.


#9

Saturday night is usually date night. Would your parents be upset that you were going out on a date? Would they expect you to stay home on Saturday evening to have dinner with them or rewire a lamp, rather than enjoy dinner out with your date? Something tells me that they'd be alright with that. But your going to Mass makes them uncomfortable, maybe even fearful, so they put obstacles in your way, and you feel like a bad child for not doing the little they ask of you. It's time for an adult sit down, so you can let them know that you will be out of the house every Saturday evening from 4:30 to 6:30pm, so you would be grateful if your Dad could arrange to do whatever project he wants help on earlier in the day on Saturday, and your mother could delay dinner until 6:45 or 7:00pm. These are not excessive requests. Maybe you parents aren't aware of what they are doing, but they are putting roadblocks to your faith in your path, and you are letting them.


#10

[quote="mikmac09, post:1, topic:337422"]
Plus my mom loved to cook and always has dinner on table by 5pm every saturday - (right at mass time preventing me from going again.

[/quote]

I wonder what your response would be if your mother cooked a nice breakfast at 9am on Sunday morning...and you had to be at work at 9am.

Would you blow off work because she made breakfast? Or would you say something like "I really appreciate your efforts with breakfast but I can't be late to work. Can we have breakfast earlier...or maybe on Saturday morning instead of Sunday?"

My guess is that your priority would be your job and breakfast would take second place.

You set your priorities whether it's getting to work or getting to Mass, having breakfast with the family or having dinner.


#11

[quote="mikmac09, post:1, topic:337422"]
First time post here and I have a question that's been bugging me for awhile. I was born and raised catholic. My parents aren't religious at all and never go to mass. They only go on Christmas and that's it. I try to go as often as I can. I am single and still live at home after college. I work full time but my job requires that I work Sunday Mornings. I try to get to the Saturday evening mass and make it most of the time, but once in awhile I don't make it. My parents always have me preoccupied with things. For instance, my dad always is working on projects around the house - painting, electrical work, car repairs and wants me to help him with it. Plus my mom loved to cook and always has dinner on table by 5pm every saturday - (right at mass time preventing me from going again. My questions is do you think it's a sin to miss mass for these reasons? I go to confession at least once a month whenever I do miss mass becuase of this, but just wanted to hear some other catholic's opinions. Thanks

[/quote]

Some Catholic parishes offer a late Sunday Mass which might work for you when there are conflicts with the Sat evening or Sunday morning Mass. It sounds like you still are dependent on them for housing and support even though you have a job which make the conflict between your time and time with them either eating dinner or doing projects tricky.
It sounds like there are not good boundaries between your time and what you are desiring to do like go to Mass. If possible, you need to talk with the both and say, "dad I would love to help you and will but lets do this either before 4pm or after 6pm. Mom, I love your dinners but while I am transitioning to living on my own, I am going to Mass at 5pm. I would love for you to come with me but if you don't, I will eat when I get back." These are just some thoughts on how to approach this, trying to establish your own control of your time without creating a holy war with them.


#12

[quote="St_Stoli, post:4, topic:337422"]
I actually went to confession about Sunday mass last week. I told Father that I missed several masses since my last confession (about 3 months ago). Without getting into many details here, he basically tells me the following:

We choose to go to church, or not go to church. Saying that we don't have time because it's too far, we don't have time, or because we are too tired are all just excuses. We all have to make our own priorities, and we should be making a Sunday commitment one of them.

He went on further to say that people make time to go to the beach, spend time working to make a living, and to visit family and friends. So, why not also make time for God, who make all of this possible?

It all made sense to me, and I'm sorry if I'm not explaining what he said with enough words. But when it all boils down, he was absolutely right. Regardless of the things going on around us in our day-to-day lives, we do have that free-will thing happening, so it really is up to us as individuals to decide what we are going to do about it.

[/quote]

Good advice. I especially like the part about making time for God, who makes all the good things in life possible for us.

DGB


#13

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.