Question about divorce


Hi everyone. First time post.

I am a divorced Catholic man. I have a 7 year old daughter with my ex-wife.

She has recently informed me that she no longer wants to participate in the Catholic faith. She is going to begin going to an Episcopalian church with my daughter. She converted to Catholicism in her early adult years from the Methodist church. We did not get married in a Catholic church due to her previous divorce.

We live in New York State. Is there anything I can legally do to make sure my daughter is raised a Catholic?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!


I am sorry you have found yourself in this situation.

You need to consult a lawyer. We can’t help you with legal questions here.


I don’t think legally you can “force” somene to be raised Catholic.It has to be a choice. I realize that we are talking about a child, but you can’t force the mama to do anything. I know. My grand daughter was 7 when she was baptized in the Catholic faith. Her mama got mad at me and now she doesn’t take her to any church. My hands are tied as I suspect your might be. You could talk to a priest and see what he has to say.

You and your daughter will be in my prayers


I’ll tell you what I did. During the divorce proceedings I had it mandated in the court’s final decision (we arbitrated, and the judge signed it) that xh had to take the girls to a CATHOLIC church on Sundays and Holy Days which he had possessory rights. For the most part, he has adhered to it, and usually lets me take them in to early Mass before school on holy days during the week.

But if you have already ironed out your final decree, it might be late for that option.

Your real power is that YOU take her to a Catholic Church and instruct her in the faith when YOU have custody. And explain to her real early in life the difference between Episcopalians and Catholics. Make having a pope FUN! Be PROUD of the saints. And at least when she goes to Episcopal services, when she goes with you later, the Catholic services won’t seem entirely foreign.

She may not even understand there is much of a difference for a few years. As she gets older, it will be her choice which faith she follows. They do say studies show a devout father has a tremendous impact on the practice of faith in his children. So you have that going for you. Good luck.

This is just one of many areas where your values and your ex’s will be presented to your daughter and she will have to choose.


I’d like to thank you all for your responses.

Looking back, I do wish this was something that was dealt with in the divorce papers, but I honestly did not see this coming.

I will do as suggested and be an example for my daughter and a herald of the faith while she is with me.

Thank you again!


my ex decided to become a pagan high priest after our divorce:bigyikes: We had a few conflicts about visitation and mass. Our lawyers decided xh couldn’t have kids on Sundays since he refused to step into a Catholic Church. He got the kids 5pm Friday to 5pm Saturday. During first communion prep he refused to bring them back early on Sat (3 pm)so they could go to reconciliation. The kids (ages 10,7, and 5) refused to get out of the car and go with him because they wanted to receive First Communion. The police got involved because we exchanged kids at a police station and I offered 2 weeks in a row visitation for 2 hours home early. He never showed up.

The best you can do in some cases is just set the good example or pay for Catholic School for her. I have a step dd that has a mom that bounces from church to church depending on social programs. We take her to mass every other Sunday, and when they used to live close enough, dh used to pick her up on the Sundays he didn’t have her to take her to mass. She has had first Communion in the RCC and we anticipate that she will also be confirmed there too since her mom and dad go to church only occasionally.


Wow. Pagan high priest. And I thought I had it bad!



You know you have it bad when you have to include not letting the kids play with the oujia board in the divorce agreement… but then again… I had to have things like you will feed them 3 meals and you will let them bathe and you will provide toothbrushes and toothpaste… NOT KIDDING!!! he was pumping them full of candy right before he returned them but not feeding them lunch… wouldn’t let them bathe or brush teeth…and I sent over tooth brushes and paste!!!


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