Question about forgiving people


#1

I know that we are supposed to forgive. Does this mean we should let that person that hurt us be in our life again?

Would it be right if I kept that person blocked from emailing me or seeing my profile on facebook?


#2

I’ll probably be jumped on for this but here goes… First, we need only forgive those people who seek our forgivness. Second, we can forgive someone without leaving ourselves open to be wronged. So, to specifically address your question concerning facebook and email. Yes, you can forgive the person and yes you can keep your profile and email address private to them. God bless.


#3

You might find this article interesting in trying to find a Biblical definition of forgiveness:

Forgive and…Forget?: What is Forgiveness? by J. P. Holding of Tekton Apologetics Ministries.

I hope the article helps. Basically, it comes down to not “imposing personal indebtedness” (i.e. You owe me for what you did), but it does not mean subjecting yourself to their actions or, if they did something illegal, not turning them into the responsible authorities.

Holding sums it up as follows:

[quote=J. P. Holding][T]o forgive, there must be a debt or obligation; if you place no obligations or debts on someone (whether physical, social, or emotional) there is nothing to be “forgiven”.
[/quote]


#4

I don’t beleive forgiveness and reconciliation are one in the same thing.

A woman could forgive a strange man that raped her…but that does not mean she would ever go out to lunch with him or be interested in a friendship.

Hope this helps.


#5

Yes, you can forgive somebody without allowing them to hurt you again. I have forgiven my parents for many things, but I do not allow them to know where I live, nor do they know my phone number. I cannot risk them trying to tear my marriage apart again.

I have talked to several priests about this issue, and they all advised me that if an individual is a danger to you, or your family, you are not bound to “forgive and forget” and pretend nothing happened. We are called to forgive, however.


#6

Ditto other posters, adding that there is a reason you have blocked this person from online contact. If your situation is similar to my sister’s, then it will be even beneficial to you to maintain this e-distance.
God bless


#7

In addition to this very good advice, I will tell you what my priest said to me when I was in the confessional regarding forgiving my mother. He says that there are four questions you can ask yourself to see if you have forgiven someone. 1) Do you want revenge for what was done to you? 2) Do you wish the person harm? 3) If they were injured on the side of the road would you stop and help them? 4) Do you pray for the person who wronged you?

Obviously, the answers to the first two questions should be no and the last two answers should be yes. :slight_smile: If those are the answers you have come to, you have forgiven the person.

Jesus himself told the disciples that if the people wouldn’t listen, to shake the dust of their town from your shoes and move on. He told us to turn the other cheek, not to stand there and be beaten to death.


#8

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