[quote="yjenkins, post:13, topic:254559"]
I know he has good intentions behind his need to masturbate during his deployment. He does will not have lust towards any other woman but myself. I know he is being honest about everything. I know he will probably fall down I know for a fact it will be very hard for me not to get upset.Many thoughts will linger, insecurity will take over and much more emotions. I will be honest. I do not see the point in masturbating, I have no desire too nor will I have the temptation too. I honestly feel very lost.
Perhaps it would help to explain WHY masturbation is a sin, not just the fact that it is a gravely disordered act. The "why" can help you see, and explain to your husband, what is wrong with masturbation and why it (or this concern) has you feeling lost.
From the Catechism of the Catholic Church (which you don't have to be Catholic to understand):
2352 By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. "Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action."137 "The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose." For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of "the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved."138
To form an equitable judgment about the subjects' moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety, or other psychological or social factors that lessen or even extenuate moral culpability.
So, it's disordered because the act itself is contrary to marital act...it is not a mutual self-giving to one's spouse. And I don't think he could honestly claim that it's the only way to relieve sexual tension. I have been in a similar experience, where I was forced to seek other means of releasing sexual tension in an non-sinful way. Prayer, physical activity, exercise...these worked very well. He may indeed experience a physical discomfort if his male fluids build up...but like I said earlier (and have expereinced), his body will take care of that on its own without him having to sin.