This is a really long post I had to break up into multiple posts, so I appologize.
Although I don’t think I’m demon possessed, I feel it is a possibility. The reason is because of my previous involvement with the occult during my teenage years. I’d like to note here that I suffer from a medical condition called ADHD. I don’t consider myself possessed at all. My current situation can be medically explained. Nothing currently paranormal happens in my life. I am struggling with finanicial hardship, martial and social problems, anger issues, lack of sleep, depression, social issues, and I have trouble properly processing information that I read and hear. I read and hear it, but because of my medical condition, I perceive information differently than I should. I recently took medication, however my condition has worsened. I’m having anger meltdowns on top of all the stress I am going through. The family that I had an anger meltdown at happened to be pentecostal. I went over to their home to appologize yesterday for my behaviour; They gave me a pep talk about how Satan is attacking me by causing stress in my life. The woman I spoke to said her daughter has the same condition as I do, however she didn’t get angry like I did.
People around me asked me to stop taking my medication because they feel it and the stresses I am going through as well as my condition are the culprits. I think they’re right. I don’t think my anger issues is anything related to demonic possession.
I don’t have access to a priest and I don’t go to a catholic church, but when I have, I don’t have perceive myself as having any negative reaction to icons, holy water, crucifix, eucharest. In fact, I recently prayed the Rosary and drank holy water. I often make the sign of the cross when praying. I’ve spent an hour in an adoration room praying before the holy eucharist. I love all of these things and want to keep it up, however a lot of people I know stand opposed to catholicism are upset that I want to convert from my local evangelical congregation. I’ve mentioned my previous stint with the occult to them as well as paranormal experiences I’ve had when I was younger and no one has taken it seriously. I’m not part of the catholic church, and I have often read that priests can be skeptical of demonic possession. And I don’t want to draw any attention to myself on this matter. It’s not like I can go to a priest and attend confession; I can’t. It’s not open to me at all.
I’ve recently seen a mental health professional who concluded I am sane and not suffering from mental problems apart from my disability. He sent me away and told me to seek help for it and counselling to help with my condition.
So, this brings me to the point of my post. When I was twelve, I started watching Dragonball Z. I really liked the show, and being a nerd and geek interested in superheroes, I entertained the idea of chakra and power levels, and super powers such as levitation, telepathy, super strength, ect. I was also taking martial arts, and had learned about the superhuman abilities of monks to draw strength and power from chakra, so I thought it could be true. As silly as it sounds, it actually led me to study the occult in an effort to obtain these powers. Other people I know became involved as well and studied alongside with me.
I first learned about out-of-body experiences by reading a book by Robert Bruce. I practiced meditation and opening chakra points all over my body, breathing skills to let in good energy into my chakras. Because of this, I developed a fear of negative energy and negative spirits and sought to avoid negative spirits. It could be my imagination, but I perceived to see white and black spirit objects in the corners of my eyes. It didn’t help that my mother also loved aspects of the occult and consulted with mediums and tarrot card readers as a form of entertainment. She also loved watching shows about haunted houses and ghost hunters. Sometimes our home would hear knocks on our door, but no one would be there. We thought it was the neibourhood kids playing pranks on us. It also didn’t help that my family members would sometimes claim to hear their name being called, but no one ever took it seriously.