Question about my paranomal experience. Should I seek an exorcist?

This is a really long post I had to break up into multiple posts, so I appologize.

Although I don’t think I’m demon possessed, I feel it is a possibility. The reason is because of my previous involvement with the occult during my teenage years. I’d like to note here that I suffer from a medical condition called ADHD. I don’t consider myself possessed at all. My current situation can be medically explained. Nothing currently paranormal happens in my life. I am struggling with finanicial hardship, martial and social problems, anger issues, lack of sleep, depression, social issues, and I have trouble properly processing information that I read and hear. I read and hear it, but because of my medical condition, I perceive information differently than I should. I recently took medication, however my condition has worsened. I’m having anger meltdowns on top of all the stress I am going through. The family that I had an anger meltdown at happened to be pentecostal. I went over to their home to appologize yesterday for my behaviour; They gave me a pep talk about how Satan is attacking me by causing stress in my life. The woman I spoke to said her daughter has the same condition as I do, however she didn’t get angry like I did.

People around me asked me to stop taking my medication because they feel it and the stresses I am going through as well as my condition are the culprits. I think they’re right. I don’t think my anger issues is anything related to demonic possession.

I don’t have access to a priest and I don’t go to a catholic church, but when I have, I don’t have perceive myself as having any negative reaction to icons, holy water, crucifix, eucharest. In fact, I recently prayed the Rosary and drank holy water. I often make the sign of the cross when praying. I’ve spent an hour in an adoration room praying before the holy eucharist. I love all of these things and want to keep it up, however a lot of people I know stand opposed to catholicism are upset that I want to convert from my local evangelical congregation. I’ve mentioned my previous stint with the occult to them as well as paranormal experiences I’ve had when I was younger and no one has taken it seriously. I’m not part of the catholic church, and I have often read that priests can be skeptical of demonic possession. And I don’t want to draw any attention to myself on this matter. It’s not like I can go to a priest and attend confession; I can’t. It’s not open to me at all.
I’ve recently seen a mental health professional who concluded I am sane and not suffering from mental problems apart from my disability. He sent me away and told me to seek help for it and counselling to help with my condition.

So, this brings me to the point of my post. When I was twelve, I started watching Dragonball Z. I really liked the show, and being a nerd and geek interested in superheroes, I entertained the idea of chakra and power levels, and super powers such as levitation, telepathy, super strength, ect. I was also taking martial arts, and had learned about the superhuman abilities of monks to draw strength and power from chakra, so I thought it could be true. As silly as it sounds, it actually led me to study the occult in an effort to obtain these powers. Other people I know became involved as well and studied alongside with me.

I first learned about out-of-body experiences by reading a book by Robert Bruce. I practiced meditation and opening chakra points all over my body, breathing skills to let in good energy into my chakras. Because of this, I developed a fear of negative energy and negative spirits and sought to avoid negative spirits. It could be my imagination, but I perceived to see white and black spirit objects in the corners of my eyes. It didn’t help that my mother also loved aspects of the occult and consulted with mediums and tarrot card readers as a form of entertainment. She also loved watching shows about haunted houses and ghost hunters. Sometimes our home would hear knocks on our door, but no one would be there. We thought it was the neibourhood kids playing pranks on us. It also didn’t help that my family members would sometimes claim to hear their name being called, but no one ever took it seriously.

My brother and I were really into this occult stuff and thought it was cool. We kept up trying to meditating ourselves into inducing an out of body experience according to the practitioners of the book. We practiced inducing trances with the idea that putting our brains into a sleep-like state was good for chakra work and separating our soul from our bodies. We tried to practice and induce lucid dreaming. We both practiced ESP and inducing telepathy and bending spoons. We eventually took out books on New Age spirituality and read those author’s take on the christian faith. At one point, I didn’t know whether God was a woman or a man, or who God truly was, though I continued to believe in Jesus, but mostly as a man, and not so much as God himself in the flesh. My brother and I did take things further by taking out books on hypnosis and tried to induce altered states of cousciousness. We used out friends as a kind of medium/bridge as we guided them to speak to either their guardian angel, their higher counsciousness and access hidden information about the universe not normally available to us. We all thought it was a bit of hooey though and though our friends were just going along with it for fun and roleplaying their altered states of consciousness.
At the same time, I was entering high school as a first year. I started to hang out with a bad crowd and my anger issues were growing. I’d bottle everything in, have anger meltdowns, fight with everyone from people in my school to my own family. I was put on a new medication at some point, and the paranormal experienced continued with my brother and I as we continued to practice the occult. There was a time where we tried to have telepathy sessions with ourselves and our friends. It wasn’t successful though. My brother and I even got together with out close friend and played with an ouija board for the first time. The little thingy we all put our hands on moved, but to our disappointment our close friend revealed to us that he had moved it. My brother and I continued to watch sci-fi shows, martial arts shows, dragonball z, shows about haunted houses. One night, I woke up one Easter morning and heared the sound of footsteps in my home. I thought it was one of my parents placing easter eggs around our home as they usually would do by the morning time, however no one was up. Everyone was asleep. The home itself was quiet with nothing going on. I noted how the laundry machine and dryer and dishwasher were off. I shrugged off the experience, however one time I woke up in the middle of the night and heard audible voices speaking to me telling me to hurt myself. I had never forgotten about that experience and it was completely real to me at the time. No one was awake and I remember pacing back-and-forth in front of my parent’s door wondering what the heck was going on and slightly both curious and frightened as it was happening, not know where they were exactly coming from and just thinking “Oooooooooo kaaaaaay” and thinking to myself how very bizarre and extraordinary it was. It sounded like it was coming from around me in the air but no one was awake and present to speak to me. I was completely awake too. They eventually stopped, and unsettled by the whole experience, I went back to bed. There was also one time during this time where I was practicing meditation and inducing a trance in order to achieve opening chakras and have an out of body experience; I remember falling asleep and my vision was greenish like the color of the original gameboy screen. I was hovering in front of our home’s laundry door. I watch it open and my father walked through it and toward me. I then wake up and hear the same door opening, with my father walking through it before closing the door. At the time, I thought it was a really cool experience and believed my efforts to experience an out of body experience might have been successful, or it has been something else, such as a vision of the future somehow. I also practiced trying to see as well as sense the auras of
others.

One night when my brother and I were together in the same room around midnight, when everyone had been asleep, we heard what sounded like a rising xylophone sound as it ascended from what sounded like the lowest tune to the highest tune, fading away as it reached a cresendo. My brother claims to have seen lights outside but I don’t remember anything. However, we both heard it and didn’t know what to make of it. As far as we know, no one was outside our home, there was no car driving by, and no one in our home was up. It was real to both of us and to this day we can’t really explain it. At the time, our minds often ran wild because of we watched shows about ufos and scary things, so I’m willing to dismiss it as nothing to be honest, though it was quite strange. Eventually I was taken off that medication that my parents thought was causing me to hallucinate.

My life eventually hit rock bottom, and it was at this low point in my life where I went to a local protestant church. After that, my anger issues lessened, I gave up practicing the occult and all the wierd, paranormal stuff went away for me and things really improved.

I recently read my medical records. All psycological examinations and tests by professionals diagnosed me as mentally fine and sane. They did dismiss my talking about hearing voices and such things as hullucinations on my part and concluded my interests in the paranormal and such things were indicatations of Schizoid personality disorder traits, which is a personality disorder characterized by a lack of interest in social relationships, a tendency towards a solitary lifestyle, secretiveness, emotional coldness, and apathy. Though it was concluded that I was not mentally ill and completely fine. I asked my parents how do they explain that my brother experienced some paranormal things too, and they just shrug it off with an I-don’t-know. No one takes what I’ve said seriously and dismisses it quickly as my imagination having run wild or say it’s due to medication. In 2010, I became a proud individual as a christian and personally invited Satan by shouting outloud in my room to come and do his worst to me.

I don’t believe I have a demon, though I really do wonder since I read in some catholic books that demons can possess even christians and lay dorment. I’ve had no problem with holy objects as I said at the beginning of my post. But it really unsettles me about the slight possibility due to dabbing in the occult and what I experienced. Everything in my life can usually be explained by medical reasons or some psychological problem I am experiencing I think. I really had bad rage problems when I was young and involved in the occult and often lost my temper and all my anger came out.

I’m experiencing a lot of opposition in my life to join the catholic church. And I’ve had to put off anything catholic for the time being as well. I also don’t want to draw any attention to my suspicion about the possibility of demons I’m dealing with, and personally I find it embarassing to even ask a priest for his discernment. I’m afraid of not being taken seriously.
Which is why I wish I could discreetly and privately speak to an exorcerist without anyone knowing. I don’t want anyone knowing I’m having these thoughts. It really unsettles me and always has that I dabbed in the occult and always dismissed it as something in the past and also because of the belief that I have the Holy Spirit in me. Since then, I haven’t had anything paranormal happen to me except when I started to watch Ghost Hunters back in 2012, and only then was it because I was hearing unexplainable loud noises in my home from objects that seemed to move on their own without any objects actually moving on their own. The last time I was involved with the occult was when I took a book out to study how to practice divining by the use of runes but I stopped and regretted that. I only did when I had a time in my life when I had been on a break from church.

So, thoughts? I’d love to hear what peoples take on this is. Sorry for the long post. Thanks for listening. Thanks for reading to the very end. Sorry for the long post.

Hi Turmoil.

Not to worry you, it may well be natural (not supernatural), but there’s never any harm in talking to an exorcist. Their identity is typically not public, but you can usually get ahold of them through your local Catholic diocese.

I will definitely be offering prayers for you. :gopray:

Start by talking with a priest and get a good spiritual director (preferably one who is a priest).

You don’t have to be Catholic or attend a Catholic Church to make an appointment with a priest to discuss your concerns. Call your local parish office and ask to speak with the priest and he can help you evaluate what is going on in your life and give you the help and advice you need. Take your medication and keep praying, the rosary is a most powerful weapon against evil.

You can always ask for the anointing of the sick.

Pray the rosary daily, and ask America Needs Fatima for a St. Benedict medal that has been blessed for exorcism.

Our Lady’s graces are pulling you toward her Son. Don’t resist. Start boning up on the spiritual classics. There are saints who have been former pagans and Satanists. For the latter, there’s Blessed Mr. Bartolo Longo, OP. He was a former Satanist who became a Catholic, then Lay Dominican, and founded the rosary shrine of Pompeii and a congregation of Dominican sisters to run the place. He also had a Josephite marriage.

Talking to the diocesan exorcist may prove comforting to you. Seek out St. Teresa of Avila’s Prayer to Redeem Lost Time.

I would also get off of the ADHD meds. St. Gilbert of Sempringham apparently had it, too. Ask his prayers for your situation. A good psychologist could help you with interventions for your ADHD. I have “severe inattentive” ADD – 96 out of 100 on the scale. Interventions and strategies work better than any meds.

Blessings,
Cloisters

While I wouldn’t go so far as to say that, it’s a little-known fact that some ADHD medications can have genuinely unpleasant psychiatric side-effects, including paranoia and mania. That would be a good place to start. Remember, the Church always rules out natural explanations before endorsing supernatural ones. :slight_smile:

Exorcist is the last person to be approached. The Church is very strict about this.

Anyone who think they may be possessed first has to undergo complete medical including brain scans to make sure there is nothing physically wrong with the person.
If the physical is okay then the person has to undergo complete psychiatric tests to see if there are any mental issues.
If both physical and mental issues are ruled out then such a person should consult his priest, explain the situation, provide the medical test results. The priest will then decide if it has to be taken further, for example to an exorcist.

I’m sure you know that mental disorders are not “cut-and-paste” between people and often manifest themselves in different ways in different people. This does not necessarily mean demonic possession. As other posters have said, the Church will first look to scientific explanations first rather than spiritual ones.

The Rosary and Chaplet of Divine Mercy are very powerful, if you’re interested. You’re in my prayers.

Also, I should add, that the Church takes New Age and occult practices very seriously. Priests will not laugh at you if you bring this up; I’m sure most priests hear about this kind of thing pretty often.

That is pretty much where I was going to go. I was on ADHD meds for about a year when I was in my thirties. One of the side effects was increased agressiveness and a shortened fuse. After talking with my doc I decided that the ADD symptoms were easier to live with then the side effects from the meds. Sure I could concentrate and stay on task, but I had no problem telling people when they were (in my opinion at the time) idiots and a waste of skin. :o

To the OP, talk to your doc first. Even if you spoke to an exorcist, the first thing they would try to rule out is any psychiatric causes. I don’t want to down play the dangers of the occult, but we should look to natural causes before attributing things to the supernatural.

I can’t speak for the exorcist, but I just wanted to say that whatever you do, OP, don’t stop taking your medication without consulting your GP first and making sure they agree with you. Cutting off your medication all at once can be incredibly bad for you.

Lou

Hello Turmoil. Welcome to CAF :slight_smile:
If you were possessed due to your earlier dabbling into the occult, then you would have a real aversion to holy water, to the rosary, and especially to the Eucharist. That you are able to pray, to touch, to seek these out without repercussions says a lot. I think that God is calling you to a deeper relationship with Him through the Catholic Church. He may be using these things from your past not only to get your attention, but to show you what is hindering you from living a fuller, happier life. Discovering God’s will for you will lead to peace in your relationships with other people, in your work, and in yourself. I hope you will contact a priest nearby and talk about discerning His will for your life. God bless.

Please do not go off of any medications without the approval of your doctor. There are a lot of medications that one cannot stop cold turkey.

I will keep you in my prayers.

Thanks guys. I don’t feel I am demon possessed; I don’t think I am either.
I’m going to consult my GP about the medication—an appointment had been made—however, for now, I need to stop taking it because of the side effects I am experiencing related to rage and irritation. It doesn’t help when I get a lack of sleep and have a lot of stress right now. Thanks.

It was either in Interview With An Exorcist I think where the exorcist tells the author that a demon can go as far to not reveal itself and lay dorment even during multiple exorcisms.

You really shouldn’t stop taking your medication until your GP says. The side effects aren’t great but going cold turkey won’t help anything.

Lou

Closing thread due to the excessive amount of medical advice offered (and now deleted). Please don’t offer medical advice here - CAF cannot be held responsible for giving out advice like that! Thanks.

Klara

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