Question about reconciliation

I have been working on this one… it’s quite difficult for me, but I’ve been going.:smiley:

Despite my best efforts, I have a regular confessor. It’s nerve racking as he is some one I know, he has worked with me on other things outside of reconciliation, he is working the my girls at youth group, so we have a lot of interaction. I pick different times, days, and regardless it is he. Have have resigned myself that this is who God has chosen for me for this sacrament, for the duration. There may be a reason not yet known to me.

Anyway, this last time I went, we went through many things, we had a great discussion, I didn’t forget anything I meant to confess, it felt really good to get through that with minimal anxiety for a change… after we talked, he asked if I was sorry, to which I responded to strongly, YES. and then he gave absolution assigned penance… then warned me to be careful opening the door as I would be swarmed by children. (they were going to get a tour of the reconciliation room as it is first reconciliation coming up this Saturday:thumbsup:). As I sat down in the church, I realized I totally missed my cue to say the act of contrition. That bothers me… I said it there and then… but I can’t believe I did that! I feel bad. Normally, he asks if I have an act of contrition I’d like to say. But he didn’t this time, and he was obviously too subtle for me, because I wasn’t sure at what point I was supposed to say it.

Not sure I’ll ever get this right. Do you think this was all valid?

If he absolved you, it was valid.

The actual “act” of contrition not being said does not effect validity…it can happen that one is contrite without the actual act being said.

But in your case…you actually expressed your act via that “YES!” to his question.


:o Thanks!!! I am working hard at this,maybe one day I’ll get it ‘right’. But sometimes I can trip over my own feet in the process, then confuse myself!



Catechism 1450 "Penance requires . . . the sinner to endure all things willingly, be contrite of heart,** confess with the lips**, and practice complete humility and fruitful satisfaction."49

Your confession was Valid with your contrite heart…your affirming YES to the Priest was all he needed.

The reason that I use to worry/feel anxiety about who I confessed to …a priest who knew me…sometimes really well…was that I was under the illusion that I was a pretty good guy…kind of holy, …but once I accepted the fact that I was judging myself against other people (a sin unto itself) as the bench-mark…the standard…and not Christ…I started using Christ’s actions, words and commands (full communion with his Church’s teachings on all matters of faith and morals) as the bench-mark…the standard…I literally quit worrying what any priest thought…. I simply realized and accepted the truth of what I am …a real sinner…who cares and tries… but…!

So, I started saying *** The Jesus Prayer***… nearly continually (mantra):

***"…Lord Jesus Christ (Risen) Son of the living God, have mercy on me a sinner…".

I found great peace in accepting this truth and joy in knowing (because he said so) that the Lord’s love and mercy endures forever…and ever.

Lastly, however…I am not yet ready to broadcast all my sins from the “rooftops” to everyone else!

Pax Christi

Your Act of Contrition was your YES to his question. That being said, it is not always necessary to say the standard AoC in the confessional. My priest always asks for it right after he gives me my penance, but I’ve had others tell me to say it at a later time.

I had a friend who recently returned to the sacraments after 30+ years. She was so nervous about not remembering the words, but he told me to tell her (ahead of time - when we were making the appointment) that her desire to be reconciled was it’s own wonderful act of contrition. When it came time for the actual AoC in confession, he simply asked her a question, and she answered.

I’ve got a regular confessor, too. Our parish has only one priest - so it doesn’t matter when you go. He is a wonderful confessor. We do interact on other things - altar servers, Bible Study, church decorating, etc, but it has never been an issue. Ever. Good for you to surrendering to what God seems to have planned for you!

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