So, there is this guy at my church who I was acquaintances with. The other night, we were both at the same church activity. We ended up sitting together and talked all night. I am becoming extremely attracted to him, the problem is he has a girlfriend. He ended up calling me later that night because he was extremely tired and still had to drive the half hour ride home. I asked him why he wasn’t talking to his girlfriend and he told me she got mad at him and hung up with him. We ended up talking for over an hour that night because I wanted to make sure he got home okay. It seems like we definitely have a lot in common and we both live in the same city and go to the same church. I am a strong Catholic and he also comes from a strong Catholic family. His girlfriend lives hours away. He told me I seem like a great person with great morals and would love to hang out with me, definitely as friends. In fact, he asked that we don’t hang out alone all the time since he does have a girlfriend. I would never be the person who would intentionally get in the way of someone else’s relationship and I don’t want to be that girl who breaks them up. He definitely doesn’t seem like the type who would even think of cheating on his girlfriend. The fact that he doesn’t want to hang out with me alone was honorable. The question is “am I playing with fire?” I have been needing to make friends with people who live in my area and go to my church. I just don’t want anyone to end up getting hurt.
I think if you are attracted to him, it’s going to cause you heartbreak if you try to develop your friendship with this man. Maybe his relationship isn’t going the way he would like it to go, and he will be free to see other people at some point - or maybe he will stay with his girlfriend and she will become his wife at some point.
Until that’s clear maybe ‘wait and see’ would be wiser for everyone. In the meantime, perhaps it would be better to just stay friendly on a casual basis.
You are already having feelings for him - dangerous territory. My suggestion is that you tell him that you would be interested in exploring a friendship if something ever happened with his current relationship but you do not want to come between him and his girlfriend. This way you won’t be hurt and if it is meant to be then it will be. Hugs, many of us have been in that situation before and I wish someone had given me this advise.
How would you feel if you were in HER shoes?
Yeah. That’s why she hung up on him. Apparently you’re already in the middle of his relationship. He’s using you.