Question about women's health


I have a question that I am not sure where else to ask. I know that this forum often discusses NFP and fertility and such and I was wondering if any women on here would have an answer for me.

I am 30 years old, female, not married, never been sexually active. I would very much like tobe married and have a child/ if that is God’s will for me. I have never been to a gynocologist or had a Pap Smear or pelvic exam or anything. I was wondering, how necessary are those types of exams for someone who is not sexually active?

My general practicioner dr. has never suggested to me that I should be seeing a gyno. My mother has never mentioned it to me ( I think she is of the old school and believes that that is not necessary if you are not having sex.) I have been having some PMS symptoms that have been getting more severe and I have been thinking it would be a good idea to see a doctor. I have heard from friends and from my sister that at a certain age even virgins should have exams.

I was wondering (and this may sound hopelessly naive) will this cause to be lose my virginity (in the physical sense)? How important is that? If it is important to me, should I not go? I don’t generally think I am naive about sexual matters.


Go to a doctor. No, it’s not as urgent as if you were sexually active. But still, you have breasts that need examining for lumps, and you need to be sure you don’t have some underlying physical conditions. And don’t worry about “virginity.” Just let your doctor know before he examines you.


Welcome chatterbox! (My Italian grandmother used to call me that too, only it was in Italian.)

Yes, see a doctor. From a purely medical standpoint you should see one for the reasons noted by the previous poster.

Please also pick up a copy of the book, Fertility, Cycles, and Nutrition, by Marilyn Shannon. She has some wonderful ideas for treating PMS. She gives her views as a nutritionist and a Catholic. Your doctor might not have good information for treating PMS. The “standard treatment” is usually hormonal changes from birth control pills. This doesn’t fix PMS it only masks it.

So as to your other concerns. Before I say anything, I want to say how absolutely impressed I am that you are living a good chaste life. I wish many times that I had better understood the Truth that the Church had for me to learn, before I went out and made such horrible decisions. We are the same generation and yet you made the right decisions.

Now with that said, you are suffering from some secular untruths just like I was. You just made better decisions with your information than I did. Society has taught that losing one’s virginity is defined by breaking one’s hymen or other such things. It is so sad that untruth is out there. The truth is that the hymen is an elastic membrane. It is meant to be stretched, not broken or torn. A torn hymen means something went a little wrong or a lot wrong. Even childbirth can be done without a torn, or cut hymen. The cervix, which is barely even opened by the speculum (spelling is wrong there) stays the same until you have a baby even in the sexually active. (Before learning NFP, I didn’t even know where my cervix was or what it did.) And believe me, most of the secular world who think they know so much about sex do not know either!

We as Catholics know that secular “sex ed” is one big joke. It teaches nothing that is Truth. It makes people afraid to ask the real questions. The world of sexual repression does the same thing. I would suggest a deep study of “Theology of the Body” by our late Holy Father, Pope John Paul the Great for a deep understanding. The book, Theology of the Body for Beginners, by Christopher West is a good starting point. It is pointed out in TOB that the world of sexual indulgence and the world of sexual repression are just two sides of the same coin and neither one is even close to Church teaching. Once I learned this theology it made me want to go out and learn the real Truth of the human body and soul.

“Virgin” means untouched. What a doctor does in a routine exam does nothing to violate that. Please remember that the most important sexual organ is the brain. A doctor is not approaching you in a sexual manner. He or she is approaching you in a purely medical way. If you would like to discuss and understand more please feel free to PM me if you are not comfortable in this public environment. Don’t be embarrassed for being naive. At least you are naive and NOT acting on it. I was naive and stupid! God has given me the graces to overcome my terrible past and use it to spread the Truth found in His holy, Catholic Church.

God bless you.


You are correct regarding not needing to see a gyno with frequency if not sexually active. After 30 you should probably see one every so often. No, it does not impact your virginity at all.

If you are having symptoms of trouble yes you should see a doctor. BUT, find a pro-life or NFP physician. If you are having bad periods-- the first thing most gyno’s want to do is slap you on the Pill. That does NOT treat anything.

Find a doctor who shares your philosophy.


Look for an NFP doctor at or call the Pope Paul VI Institute and ask if there are any doctors in your area.


My doctor told me that if you are not sexually active the latest you should see a gynocologist is 25 years old. I was worried about the same thing when I went for the first time when I was 24, however, at the time I was not sexually active.

Pap smears are not that bad if you let your doctor know you are a virgin. I had a 60 something year old man do mine and it wasn’t as horrible as I thought it was going to be. This may be TMI, but I’d rather go to the gyno than to the dentist’s office.


I see a family medicine Dr. and she does it all. I’m 42 and have never been to a gynecologist.

Your general practitioner physician may be able to do the exam vs. finding a different Dr. Might be worth asking about.


My first trip to the GYN was just before marriage.

My girls have been going for a yearly GYN check up since about the age of 15 or so. Just want to be sure everything is working properly :wink: . They LOVE our NFP only, pro-life doc. —KCT


I agree with everyone else. Definitely it’s time to see a doctor, but find one who is NFP/Pro-life/Catholic. Ask some of your friends about their doctors too, and find one who will listen to you! Otherwise, most of them will try to put you on the pill for everything.

I’m currently looking for a new dr. myself b/c I’ve had some different issues, and though I’ve told her a thousand times that I am not going on the pill, she still offers it every time I go. It also makes me crazy that they really do offer it for every female problem and thensome. I just find it hard to believe that that one little pill holds the key to solving every possible problem for every woman everywhere. Please!

And, like one of the other posters said, your general practitioner may do it for you. If you would feel more comfortable with that, definitely ask.


[size=]I work for the Health Dept and the section I work in details with women and child health and communicable diseases.

Anyway it is very important that a women whether she is a virgin or not has at least a yearly check up. There should be womens clinics that you can go to, to have a breast examination or mamogram, pap smears are very important whether you are sexually active or not (and you will not loose your virginity).

If anybody needs information regarding breast cancer, cervical cancer, prostrate cancer I have alot of electronic information.

But go for a checkup for precaution sake. Sometimes women do not bother to go for their monthly checkups or at least quarterly. It does not mean because you are not sexually active that you should not go and see a Gyn. [/size]

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