Question concerning husband


#1

I am at a loss…my husband of twenty two years told me a few weeks ago that he doesn’t believe ANY PART of the Catholic Faith…we’ve had all kids Baptised etc…but now I’m on my own in trying to raise them in the Faith.
Any thoughts?


#2

Is this something new? Or, has he just never vocalized before his feelings?


#3

Emibean, I am so sorry to hear this! I’m sure you are shocked about it. I think your first steps before anything is to pray and speak to you priest. I’m sure he’s seen this kind of thing many times before and can give you some good advice.

In the meantime, I wouldn’t make any sweeping changes about anything. Keep your kids in CCD if they are still those ages. If they’ve all been confirmed, just keep taking them to Mass with you as you always have.

During my dh’s struggle with his faith, the kids and I kept going to church–with donuts or lunch out afterward because I could often intice my dh to go along if there were plans for after. :wink:

The biggest mover though was God. I just kept praying and doubled my prayers. It did take awhile, but within a year he was back to being the spiritual head of our household.

I will pray for you.


#4

First…don’t put this “weight” or situation on your back…its a “management” issue (God the Holy Spirit’s 'turf") and you are in “sales” (Father Mitch Pacwa)…as Matthew Kelley (Aussie Catholic, evangelist and author says: “…Catholicism is a billboard campaign…”…what does your billboard say about your Catholic Christian faith…Catholic and miserable…or…Catholic and surviving…or…Catholic and thriving…what message are you sending on your billboard to your husband (et.al.)?

Second…obviously pray for him but more is needed…prayer, fasting and almsgiving…that is, novena prayers…detachment/mortification fasting…and sacrificial almsgiving of time, talent and treasure…if you do these three types of things…not big tasks but very small things in each category…and have faith (this is the most important of all)…that the Holy Spirit, and his spouse, Mary His Blessed Mother, will come to his aide…it will happen…he will get the graces and help he needs.

Third…read what Elisabeth Leseur, now called Servant of God in her canonization process, did for her brutally atheistic husband and what happened to him! Her husband died as a Catholic priest!!! en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elisabeth_Leseur
I recommend that you pray for her intercession in a very special way.

Lastly…the one virtue that Our Lord Jesus speaks of most often is “forgiveness”…but next to that the next thing that he says most often…is what JP-II said: BE NOT AFRAID…don’t fall for the devil’s trap/illusion that Our Lord is not with or very near you…or that you are on your own…Our Lord God is with you in every heart beat…and…in every breath of this journey…with both you and your husband.

Pax Christi


#5

I think that you need to just carry on and continue going to mass and raising your children the same as if your husband were with you. In time, your example may lead your husband back. And you are still living as an example for your children to see and learn from.

I am not saying it will be easy. I don’t know how old your children are. And in all honesty, the day might come when one of your children asks why they have to go to mass when dad doesn’t. But hopefully through prayer and maybe fasting, your husband will “be back” before then.


#6

Hi there. When you say he doesn’t believe in ANY part of the Catholic faith, do you mean that he no longer believes in God?
It is hard to give advice without asking more questions. Was he particularly zealous before and has taken a complete turn around? Or was he always luke warm and is now just giving up entirely.
Were you married in Catholic Church? Does he still take those vows seriously since they were “Catholic”?
My short advice - ask him to still come to Church for the kid’s sake. Keep EWTN on in the house, maybe something will stick. Maybe you can ask him to attend a retreat with you?


#7

Ma’am-

Sorry to hear about your husband. Maybe you could try to get him a few books? Such as A Catholic Q & A book? Maybe a book about someone who has struggled with the faith? Maybe something by Lee Strobel or C.S Lewis?

Just a thought. It could be a phase he’s going through.


#8

If you both can have civil discussions on the topic without things getting heated, exploration is the key. Understanding why and how he has come to this point will better help you tackle this issue. My best wishes to you. :hug3:


#9

I read somewhere that a woman can lead her family to Heaven. If a wife is a practicing Catholic and the husband is not, you can still bring him to Heaven with you for the simple fact that you believe and pray for your husband.

The power of prayer is pretty amazing! Through your spiritual life, you can show your husband the pathway to Heaven. A priest once told me that prayer is all you need to do. You don’t need to nag him or get on his case; just pray. I also think I read in the bible somewhere that if the wife is the believer in the family, that still creates a faithful household. When you marry, you become one flesh, so this makes sense to me.

In some cultures, it’s common for the woman to attend church without her husband. Those cultures are still considered to be very Catholic and the children are expected to attend church until they marry.

I attend without my husband and he thinks the same way. I just pray that he comes around on his own and develops a relationship with God.


#10

Hi

You can check out the following thread

CATHOLIC WOMEN PRAYING BOLDLY FOR CATHOLIC MEN

forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=365533

or the link below in my signature

God’s love, grace and mercy be with you at this time.


#11

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.