God surprised me with my husband because I had just been in a short dating relationship with a young man who had pursued me and pursued me. I was an exchange student from Europe at Georgetown University. The young man who wooed me had just moved to D.C. to work for John McCain in the Senate (this was the mid '90s). He would meet me outside the school gates with poems he’d written and books he wanted to share with me and in the end I was won over and I really starting thinking “Wow I’m really starting to like this guy”. Just as my heart started to soften he suddenly said to me 'You know, we’re not dating or anything".
I was totally confused. I thought I had somehow had some kind of brain freeze. Wasn’t he calling me and meeting me every single day? Wasn’t he asking me to meet him every day and visit all the sights of D.C.? Wasn’t he telling me his life was complete with me? That I was wonderful, beautiful etc. etc.? Didn’t he insist on my meeting his brother and sister-in-law? Eventually I realized this is what my American girlfriends were telling me. American men, blew hot and cold, they played games, they didn’t know what they wanted. I came to my senses. Our course we were dating! It didn’t matter what he said, in Europe if you behave like that you are seeing someone.
I decided then and there, no more American men! I was not looking for a relationship and this man had chased me and chased me until finally I relented and started to really care.
Of course shortly after this I met my American husband of 13 years! I would not even consider dating him after my first experience and we just became friends. But eventually his goodness (and God’s will) conquered. When he told me he was madly in love with me after we’d only known each other about 3 months I finally took him seriously. We decided we would try dating and within literally about 3 weeks we both realized we wanted to get married. We were married within a year of meeting. This floored me because I never, ever expected to meet someone and marry them so quickly, in fact I wasn’t even thinking of marriage or a serious relationship at the time. I don’t know if I had “butterflies” so much as I didn’t want to ever be apart from him.
Even now he was away from home for 5 days and we Skyped each other over the web. When I saw his face I just loved him so much and he said the same. We missed each other so much and we just love to be together. It’s more like meeting a person that you can build a strong foundation with for everything else in your life. You can literally build a life together. You want a co-worker in life who wants to build the same things you do and of course they need to be cute
I guess my story reflects the fact that we may have a few false starts dating but God can use these to help us recognize what we want and need and to see that in others. We also should spend time focusing on developing ourselves into a good future spouse. That is, not what others can do for us but what we can do for others. I don’t believe there is one person or “soulmate” for us. We can become soulmates in our marriage by sharing our love and souls: two become one.