[quote="JSSebastianoP, post:5, topic:250761"]
Thanks all. :) I know I need to talk to, well, rather than a priest, I was thinking going for psychological help, but yeah - I do need help with scrupulosity.
Your answers are more or less what I figured, but I wanted to double check.
To clarify: in a private place: bad idea, but where it is in public areas is not necessarily an occasion for sin. So far it has been basically public areas, walking in the city, a train station, restaurant, and travelling by taxi maybe...
I am planning to meet her this Sunday to show her my hometown so we'll be walking and probably eating in town (including a park - I don't know how crowded it will be on a Sunday but it's still "public" enough, right? And would a movie theater would be bad?).
She asked to see my home (& parents), which I guess I could say is one of the things that spurred this post. However, my family may be out of town that weekend, so that can complicate the situation....
If they are out of town, would it be an okay idea to walk to my neighborhood and show her the outside of my house (where hypothetically we could be seen) but explain to her if she wants to go in that it could be a "near occasion for sin"? Although, she actually isn't Catholic (but I believe she understands that I am and I hope she'd understand if I explained), so I'd have to use different words, but I think y'all get the idea.
So, in short, I more or less have the basics here: being "just the to of us (i.e. not part of a larger group) would probably be okay in public places but not in private, right?
And of course, if my parents (or even my younger brother) were home, it would be okay to show her in, right?
Thanks again :)
J. S. Sebastiano P.
Going for a walk or to a movie is fine.
Being alone in a private situation depends on you. I've been alone with friends of the opposite gender and it was fine. As you are attracted to this person, just make sure that you stay in the "public" rooms of the house. You can't invite a friend to your hometown and not take her into your house! If a male friend did that, I would be so hurt.
Don't try the occasion of sin thing (even if it isn't in those words) as to many non Catholics, it will sound like you are either saying that she can't be trusted or that women in general are sinful. If the worst comes to the worst, just say that your parents don't allow you to take friends into your room or whatever.
As to your earlier question about what to do when you go to college, inviting female friends into your dormroom, that is ok if they are just friends.
You will need to learn how to resist temptations. If you want to ever have a relationship and get married, you will need to be alone with that person at times or you will never be able to have personal conversations. It is about having self control, you will have to learn to control the desires and be with that person. It is something you will need your whole life, even when married, as there are times that to give in to your desires would be selfish.
Please get help with the scrupulosity, it is a form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Speak to your doctor, as you will need treatment for this, it is a medical problem. though also speak to a priest as you need help spiritually too.
And to end on a happy note, if she wants to see your hometown and meet your family, I think that sounds like she also has feelings for you. :)