Question on Homosexuality


#1

Since Im new to this forum, Im not sure where to put this question - or if its even allowed!

my question/situation is this…

I grew up with twin boys. When they were 9yrs old their dad left home for another woman. Later in life they claim that this situation caused lots of confusion in their mental state (Im just repeating what they told me) and was a major factor in their lifestyle as adults (gay men). :rolleyes:

When we were in high school, rumors were that they were gay. They were NOT! They were sort of shy, not aggressive with the girls. Physically they were thin, weak lookin’.
I had other girl friends that wouldve backed up my belief’s in knowing that they were just normal guys! Just ‘out-cast’, that’s all!

After graduation they both enlisted in the Army and went away for 4-6 years.

Both came home from the military as gay men. :frowning: Both of them!

Why am I bringing this up to this place?

Last week my hairdresser and I were talking about this (my gay twin friends). She questioned the idea of… “born knowing they were different. Just too scared to say anything.” Basically because they are TWINS she felt this way.

I say, NO! They werent gay (still dont believe they are)… And I think its society’s fault for not accepting them as they were/are (by being timid, small, weak types) and the gay community DID accept them.
In their community, they found support, Love, ACCEPTANCE (one of our greatest emotional needs).
Personally, I think one of the twins became involved in this lifestyle, then invited the other. Just my assumption.

My question is this: (which is what my hairdresser and I
questioned)
do you think that homosexual’s are "born this way’?
or
do you think that through lifes experiences, that one can choose (not sure if this is the right word - but you know what I mean) this lifestyle and believe they are gay?

**NO gay bashing, please.
If this topic is not allowed on this forum, a moderator is welcome to delete this thread or move it.


#2

IMHO, they where born this way.


#3

There is no scientific evidence to show they were born this way.

A key point is that there might have been an issue with the father leaving.

Research has shown that homosexuality occurs 7 times more in men than in women. That is significant. It is believed that the lack of a father in the home to teach boys how to be masculine could be a contributing cause. And we must ask the effects of female hormones in our food and environment and their effects on male development.


#4

I disagree…my eldest was not raised with his father…he was raised by a single mother…but I did make sure that he had male role modles in his life…by the way he did not turn out gay.
I guess single moms should make sure that their sons have male role modles if their kids fathers are not around based on what you write!


#5

There is absolutely no evidence to show that homosexuality is genetic and that people are born gay. Homosexuality is the product of one or more of upbringing, environment, choice.


#6

Really…I think both sides of the fence can argue this till they are blue in the face and neither side will agree at the end.


#7

Yes. The black community has the highest rates of fatherless homes and the highest rates of homosexuality.

[Homosexuality and Hope

           Statement of the Catholic Medical Association]("http://www.cathmed.org/publications/homosexuality.htm")

#8

One thing to think is on this
If being gay is genetic, how has it survived?
Homosexuals cannot reproduce unless they avoid what they naturally feel.

Therefore, in my opinion, it is not genetic, but more environmentally based.

I have often wondered how many are gay, because society tells them that is what they are. If you are constantly told you are ugly, you will begin to believe it, perhaps it works the same way with homosexuality.

A lone Raven


#9

No need to argue…

This is just a question of opinions. And you know what they say about opinions…


#10

Are you sure this is the case with your twin friends…or are you assuming it is???


#11

Well the old governor of NJ reproduced and he is gay.


#12

Hmm…I am not black, white as the driven snow:D ,


#13

Karin,

in my OP, I clearly stated that my twin friends admittied that this lifestyle was a product of their fatherless home. But my hairdresser argued that its genetics - not chosen.

Everyone’s situation is different.
Everyone’s homelife is different.

Sounds like you did an awesome job in a single parent home!


#14

It doesn’t really matter one way or another. God loves them - gay or not. He accepts them just as they as.

However, it is quite clear that sex outside the bonds of marriage is always wrong and marriage is always between a man and a woman. Therefore, if they engage in homosexual sex, they are sinning and seperating themselves from God.

Are you still in contact with your friends? I would pray for them, love them and try your best to show the love Christ has for them.

I had a co-worker awhile back who told me how he “discovered” he was gay. He said he didn’t have a good relationship with his super critical father. He was an outcast in school and very lonely. He went to his guidance counselor and that man suggested my co-worker might be gay and directed him to the school’s gay & lesbian club. He found acceptance there and he said he “realized” he was gay. How sad is that?

I agree - everyone is looking for acceptance, love and happiness. All of which is found in Jesus Christ. Everything else is a weak substitute.


#15

I am “ex-gay” (I hate the label, but it’s concise, anyway). Yes, I would agree that arguing causes of homosexuality is a huge topic and one hard to find persuading arguments for either way. I also think men’s issues and women’s issues in this regard are very different. Even among men, I think it’s typically a combination of factors that results in homosexual attractions.

Of course, not every gay man grew up fatherless, but being detached (physically, spiritually, and/or emotionally) from a father is a very common thread among gay men. The craving for father-love never goes away and as the boy goes into puberty, the craving becomes sexualized.

There is a higher correlation of homosexuality among twins. There is also anecdotal evidence that many twins engage in sexual experimentation with each other in adolescence. Please note that I am NOT saying that all twins commit incest, or that your friends did. I would also imagine that that experimentation often means nothing, and that many twins who do experiment that way end up largely heterosexual anyway. But it makes sense to me that a boy who has a deep void of father-love, and craves intimacy with another man, and is going through the hormone storm of puberty, would find the presence of his exact double both sexual and sexually confusing. Then again it’s also possible that the feelings were never acted on—with each other or with anyone else—until they got out of the home.


#16

There is absolutely no conclusive evidence that homosexual orientation is genetically determined. The gay activists will tell you and try to convince folks otherwise. It is important in this discussion that political agendas do not outrun sound and valid scientific research and conclusions.

or
do you think that through lifes experiences, that one can choose (not sure if this is the right word - but you know what I mean) this lifestyle and believe they are gay?

One can be duped through “life experience” and socio-political influences to be more susceptible to choose such an unnatural (and unhealthy) lifestyle, and to be convinced that they have a “gay” psychosexual identity (gay being more a political term for one choosing to engage in a homosexual lifestyle).

**NO gay bashing, please.
If this topic is not allowed on this forum, a moderator is welcome to delete this thread or move it.

Funny that you feel the need to add this qualifier, when in fact, the Catholic (and broader Christian) community is the one most able to offer the same sex attraction afflicted individual (who may or may not be engaged in the gay lifestyle) true compassion to know and live in the true dignity of their person.


#17

Sorry I guess I did not get that from what you wrote in your OP…(that they turned out this way becuase of a fatherlessl home)


#18

I think your answers are YES and YES. I believe some people are born homosexual, and others are born heterosexual. I also believe they vary greatly in the affirmation of their birth condition. For some it really does not matter if they pair with a same sex or cross sex partner, while another may actually kill rather than change. To the first a good friend is more valued than “happen” sex of that friend. To the other a violate rape must occur to generate a sex act between them and the same sex partner. Neither is wrong. I do not believe your friends were truly born homosexual based on your writings, had they been it would have been clear all along. I think your friends care little about the type of sex act and are more looking for friends.

I base this belief on raising children ( are you a mother?) it is amazing how quickly babies display some behaviors. One example is little girls going straight to Daddy for every privilege. Others include little girls nurturing, cuddling. And for little Boys - they beat/break something before you can stop it. Ask any mother it is impossible to stop.


#19

There is another active thread on this very subject of nature vs nurture.

I think you’re wrong. What you mean, perhaps, that there is no iron clad DNA evidence that is connected to homosexuality.

The case is still out on that issue, because “genetic” is very complicated. Just this last week, there was a report about cancers, that shows that they involve about 200 genetic defects.

Scientific research has found a lot of genes that don’t seem to do anything. That fact alone leaves enough reasonable doubt about whether there is a genetic component of H. They simply don’t know what those genes are for.

Looking at autism, as a lot of recent articles have, they’ve found that it seems to involve abnormal connections in the brain. In the last year, I’ve seen articles about the differences in male and female brains that develop after birth. My point: There’s a lot that goes on during development that may be produce profound differences in behavior.

I don’t mean to be discourteous, but NO ONE can say that there isn’t a physical basis of H. We simply haven’t found what it is.
There are hypotheses, but there is no proof.

The scientific model is, that there is a physical basis for health and disease.

The current treatment for depression, for example, may involve drugs that take weeks to “work” as they play out their role in changing brain connections – so it is thought.

If “role models” have any influence, that influence is complicated and affects the brain structure during development.

The thing is, we’re largely in the dark about current research on this subject.

There are a lot of other hard-to-understand behaviors, like criminal conducts of various sorts, tendency toward rage and violence, why somebody likes flowers, and so forth.


#20

I’m not saying that I think homosexuality is genetic, but if you have ever taken a high school biology class it is possible.

H h
H HH Hh H-heterosexual
h Hh hh h-homosexual

So if there is a recessive gene in two heterosexual persons, there is about 25% chance of a homosexual child and if they are heterosexual they will still carry the recessive gene and pass it to their offspring, so all it takes is some homosexual to have children, like many Roman and Greek families did to pass the gene on to many of todays family lines. There are many plausible ideas behind the idea, just like there are many for it not to be possible.


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