Question to Seminarians and people thinking about joining a Seminary


#1

Would you be uncomfortable with a guy that has SSA,but masculine in the seminary?Would you consider him as a brother and be friends with him?


#2

My first thought when you said this was, "Why would I have to know?" Seminarians don't go on double dates with their girlfriends, and probably aren't bantering a lot about hot female celebrities or chicks they liked in high school (at least I hope not), so it would be unlikely for an occasion causing you to reveal that you aren't attracted to females would come up.

However, if something were to happen that revealed you were attracted to men, I have a feeling that you would be fine, especially if your fellow seminarians are of younger generations. There might be some discomfort, but this is, after all, a seminary--the chief topic of social life in seminaries isn't dating and relationships, so the opportunities for people to cast judgment on you would be rare.

If, on the other hand, you are worried because you want to be honest and frank to your fellow seminarians and tell them the truth about your sexuality, I would suggest a gradual approach of talking to your closest friend at the seminary and maybe eventually broadening out until everyone knows.

On a personal level, while I've never had the experience of feeling S.S.A. to men, I see no reason why anyone should have to know what my sexuality is at a seminary. If I were in your position, and there was no psychological/emotional strain involved in keeping my sexuality unknown, I would simply go about my business and only talk about it if someone really wants to know. It's very likely that if you ignore the issue entirely everyone will assume you are attracted to women and, as I said, because this is a seminary, it probably wouldn't be a problem!

In any case, there are many counselors and directors that will be available to you to assist in helping you to decide what to do. They will help you judge the seminary environment and decide the best course of action.

God bless you and guide you in your search for His vocation for you.


#3

SSA would not be something I would recommend revealing in seminary (except as needed to your SD and Confessor) not least because it might cause friction but it is not needed, when one enters seminary we set aside that sort of thing.

Another major reason is that it could be a "formation issue" it is getting harder and harder for men with SSA to make it to priesthood if it is not already (and it could be argued it is) then it is fast approaching time when it will not be permitted to Ordain a man who suffers from SSA. Partly due to the awful example of Priests with SSA who have caused scandals, promoted liberal views to homosexual acts or been part of the "Gay Lobby" the Holy Father has spoken of.

I would say if you feel a vocation and are strong enough not to give in to savage sexual temptation, and are willing to lock the SSA away under lock and key then go ahead and try. Do not be afraid to say wait and hold on until you are ready to enter.


#4

God bless you and guide you in your search for His vocation for you.

I guess you’re right.I’ve never thought it that way.I’m seriously thinking about joining a seminary,being a priest about a year now(i read the Bible and converted 1 year ago,too).I havent started my cathecumen lessons yet,and havent been baptised,but i feel like im called to the priesthood.I dont have any doubts about it,but i havent spoke to my Priest about this yet.And im really afraid that i’ll get a rejection.Thanks for answering! :slight_smile:


#5

[quote="theyoungmonk, post:3, topic:332058"]
SSA would not be something I would recommend revealing in seminary (except as needed to your SD and Confessor) not least because it might cause friction but it is not needed, when one enters seminary we set aside that sort of thing.

Another major reason is that it could be a "formation issue" it is getting harder and harder for men with SSA to make it to priesthood if it is not already (and it could be argued it is) then it is fast approaching time when it will not be permitted to Ordain a man who suffers from SSA. Partly due to the awful example of Priests with SSA who have caused scandals, promoted liberal views to homosexual acts or been part of the "Gay Lobby" the Holy Father has spoken of.

I would say if you feel a vocation and are strong enough not to give in to savage sexual temptation, and are willing to lock the SSA away under lock and key then go ahead and try. Do not be afraid to say wait and hold on until you are ready to enter.

[/quote]

I'd hurry but i'm not even baptised yet.So it will be difficult for me,i know that.But i trust in God and if hes truly calling me,it'll happen.Thanks for answering :)


#6

Hello ChiefShepherd! I am currently a seminarian and rest assured, all men at one point of their life or another experience some sort of attraction to the same sex (according to my spiritual director). You're not alone when it comes to you and your SSA! I would assume that most of the seminarians at my seminary would not mind a seminarian who has SSA provided that he wants to change, is spiritually fervent and is working it out with his spiritual director. If he does not possess the traits that I have stated above, I have fear that this person may, in the future, pose some problems to the spiritual welfare of the Seminary Community.

This is why the Vatican has released a document discouraging those with deep-seated homosexual tendencies to enter into a Seminary and pursue Holy Orders. (a copy of this document can be found here.)

Dominus noster tibi benedicat et ducat te in vitam aeternam!:)


#7

[quote="Facite, post:6, topic:332058"]
Hello ChiefShepherd! I am currently a seminarian and rest assured, all men at one point of their life or another experience some sort of attraction to the same sex (according to my spiritual director). You're not alone when it comes to you and your SSA! I would assume that most of the seminarians at my seminary would not mind a seminarian who has SSA provided that he wants to change, is spiritually fervent and is working it out with his spiritual director. If he does not possess the traits that I have stated above, I have fear that this person may, in the future, pose some problems to the spiritual welfare of the Seminary Community.

This is why the Vatican has released a document discouraging those with deep-seated homosexual tendencies to enter into a Seminary and pursue Holy Orders. (a copy of this document can be found here.)

Dominus noster tibi benedicat et ducat te in vitam aeternam!:)

[/quote]

I wish i had that.But i dont.I pray every day to Lord to get this away from me,but i've been experiencing this since i was like 5 years old..So its a very unfortunate spot im in right now.Im looking forward to just contacting mu spiritual director about this,hear what he has to say.And thank you so much for your prayers :)

God Bless!


#8

I find this a weird question to pose and am curious why it was asked in the first place ?

If we are going to ask such questions then how about we keep it going,

how would seminarians feel knowing a fellow seminarian was an ex convict who had a horrible criminal record. ??

or how would one feel knowing a fellow seminarian was a convert who formerly use to worship satan to some degree.


#9

My first thought when you said this was, “Why would I have to know?” Seminarians don’t go on double dates with their girlfriends, and probably aren’t bantering a lot about hot female celebrities or chicks they liked in high school (at least I hope not), so it would be unlikely for an occasion causing you to reveal that you aren’t attracted to females would come up.

Just a quick question to this response, ( an I hope I did not take this out of context ), so if I did just disregard ,

"Seminarians don’t go on double dates with their girlfriends " suggests seminarians are allowed to date while in the seminary, is that the case or was this just a scenario for an example that was being related to the rest of the posted reply … ?


#10

OK,im sorry i was just trying to get help because of something i saw from the internet that said if we allowed people with SSA to get in to the seminary,people would not join the seminaries because of the discomfortness of the envoirment.Im a person that wants to go to a seminary,and i have SSA.So i just wanted to know if i would be a problem for seminarians…


#11

[quote="ChiefShepherd, post:10, topic:332058"]
OK,im sorry i was just trying to get help because of something i saw from the internet that said if we allowed people with SSA to get in to the seminary,people would not join the seminaries because of the discomfortness of the envoirment.Im a person that wants to go to a seminary,and i have SSA.So i just wanted to know if i would be a problem for seminarians...

[/quote]

The internet is such a joke in so many ways, God doesn't call " perfect / or holy " people to serve Him, they get close to that point or reach that point after the fact and usually only after they leave this world to be with Him in Heaven.

Did the sex abuse scandal royally put people with SSA behind the eight ball in regards to a religious life, probably, is it impossible, nope.

If Saul the persecutor and murder of Christians can be converted and if Peter can deny Christ three times and still serve Christ, pretty sure the rest of humanity has a decent chance at serving as well.

others have already given great advice though, that was my rambling two cents of what ever.


#12

[quote="ChiefShepherd, post:4, topic:332058"]

I guess you're right.I've never thought it that way.I'm seriously thinking about joining a seminary,being a priest about a year now(i read the Bible and converted 1 year ago,too).I havent started my cathecumen lessons yet,and havent been baptised,but i feel like im called to the priesthood.I dont have any doubts about it,but i havent spoke to my Priest about this yet.And im really afraid that i'll get a rejection.Thanks for answering! :)

[/quote]

Well I will be honest, this is not an imminent issue for you. If I understand correctly then you have not yet been Baptised and Confirmed. This means you will be lacking in the Graces required for a true discernment. so I would just stop worrying about it as most places wont look at you until you have been in the Church (Baptised etc.) for three years, so this is at least four years away probably. In that time a lot can change, my advice is leave the discernment on hold for now until you have been received and then devote your prayer to discernment at that time.


#13

As a seminarian, I would treat him like the child of God that he is. To not treat him as a brother and a friend would beat odds with my calling and desire to be a priest becuase “anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister” (1 Jn 4:21).


#14

Amen!

My two cents (as a nonseminarian)…

Part of the reason that the scandals in the Church happened was because SSA wasn’t talked about. When you leave something in darkness, dark things grow.

I’m not saying everyone has to know. But the attraction to men shouldn’t be some shameful secret. Now, in terms of sin, I think that a potential priest should be honest with his superiors about his sins, because this is relevant to the Church’s discernment on his behalf. Not being honest would be akin to lying to a potential wife about your sexual past (or present).


#15

As a former seminarian, I would echo Gandalf and advise you to keep it secret, keep it safe, that is around other seminarians. It will cause some to feel uncomfortable if you are open about it. For other seminarians who struggle with it, it is best for them not to know about you, and you not to know about them.

Be up front and very open about it with your spiritual director. Your spiritual director will be a great help here; pick a good one, for seminaries around the world still have their share of fruity priests. I'm sure the seminaries in Miami weren't the only places with that sort of thing going on.

See how it goes, but be sober and watch how you react, change, adapt, etc. Know that the devil will do whatever he can, and know that he will try to get others to come after you and anyone else. You're living with a bunch of dudes who will be your comrades for the rest of your life. There is great brotherhood, but if unchecked SSA can really screw you and the ministry up; if unchecked seminary will fuel it. Consent is the key; as long as you do not consent and reject the attraction, you're doing the best you can.

Know what a grave undertaking the priesthood, and even entering seminary is. It is not to be taken lightly. If you can't hang, get out, for it is better to have these struggles as a layman than as a priest.


#16

Hello, I am a 21 year old guy, one year of college remaining, who has some degree of SSA. I know how you feel, I think, because I am also discerning a call to the priesthood. This is probably one of the things I think about most in my discernment. I know that's probably not how it should be, but you know, with that comment from JPII (or whoever it was who was quoted in this thread) regarding deep-seated homosexual tendencies, and not admitting those individuals to seminary, it's really hard not to think about that, since it could have a direct affect on me. Obviously, when/if I am applying after I graduate, I plan to be completely honest about my SSA, because I would never keep something like that hidden knowing that it could keep from being eligible for admittance. It's amazing, though, how personal this perceived calling has become - I will be pretty darn devastated if I am turned down entrance into seminary for whatever reason, but especially for SSA. However, I have come to realize the following, and this is my advice to you (and I think you or someone else mentioned it): I know that if I am denied entrance into seminary, for whatever reason, it will be because God willed it. I know I must have confidence that whatever happens, God knew it would happen and it was in His Divine Providence, and that I should accept it and pray about it and pray about what I need to do next in my life.

You have a few years, though, before you need to really worry about that - you will probably not be allowed to apply to seminary for at least a year or two after your baptism/confirmation - which gives you plenty of time to discuss these things with others and pray about it. I will keep you in my prayers!


#17

Like Someone already said, do not disclose your SSA to anyone because you never know who may use that information against you, I was a seminarian and reached theology, I had issues with the corruption I saw. I spoke out and was dismissed. My point is that sexual orientation should not be an acceptance factor, but is the applicant mature enough to adapt into the celibate lifestyle? For those who believe that those with SSA should be excluded are presumptuous and judgmental. I know several heterosexual seminarians who are sexually active. Just because someone is gay dos not mean he will act on his attractions. Same can be said about a heterosexual man. In addition, there have been saints who have been suspected of having SSA but they still did Gods work.


#18

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