Question...


#1

Hi, I am new here and I am planning on working on becoming a Catholic and I am going to be attending RCIA classes starting this September…I am still in the learning process and theres still alot I don’t know and my past beliefs still influence me alot…I was just wondering if someone could tell me if oral sex is a sin (mortal or venial?) and if it is still a sin if you only do it out of love…this is where I am confused because I’ve heard alot of people say that its bad then others have said that its ok as long as you don’t have intercourse…I am not exactly sure which to believe but I feel like both are right in some aspects…I personally don’t believe it is bad as long as both of the people involved truely love each other and have not been with other people and they don’t care to look at anyone else or be with anyone else but the person they are with…its basically like being in a faithful marriage without actually being married and theres no intercourse involved…but I dunno, i may be wrong…I just thought that as long as its out of love and not lust that its ok but I don’t want to believe the wrong thing. Thanks


#2

[quote=Heather07]Hi, I am new here and I am planning on working on becoming a Catholic and I am going to be attending RCIA classes starting this September…I am still in the learning process and theres still alot I don’t know and my past beliefs still influence me alot…I was just wondering if someone could tell me if oral sex is a sin (mortal or venial?) and if it is still a sin if you only do it out of love…this is where I am confused because I’ve heard alot of people say that its bad then others have said that its ok as long as you don’t have intercourse…I am not exactly sure which to believe but I feel like both are right in some aspects…I personally don’t believe it is bad as long as both of the people involved truely love each other and have not been with other people and they don’t care to look at anyone else or be with anyone else but the person they are with…its basically like being in a faithful marriage without actually being married and theres no intercourse involved…but I dunno, i may be wrong…I just thought that as long as its out of love and not lust that its ok but I don’t want to believe the wrong thing. Thanks
[/quote]

Basic chastity = no sexual activities out of love or anything else before you say “I do”.

Maybe try reading love and responsibility from the Pope it’s a great book on basics with regards to how we view others in relationships. The idea of no sex on any level before marriage may seem frightful but in reality it works miracles in the relationship both with your perspective partner and with God. One tip, you really need Gods help to be chaste it wont be done of your own strength but through his.

-D


#3

oral sex outside marriage is adultery/fornification
oral sex within marriage is a waste of seed and exclude the natural law purpose of sex : procreation

so oral sex in any circumstance is a gravely matter. committed willfully leads to mortal sin


#4

[quote=Heather07]Hi, I am new here and I am planning on working on becoming a Catholic and I am going to be attending RCIA classes starting this September…I am still in the learning process and theres still alot I don’t know and my past beliefs still influence me alot…I was just wondering if someone could tell me if oral sex is a sin (mortal or venial?) and if it is still a sin if you only do it out of love…this is where I am confused because I’ve heard alot of people say that its bad then others have said that its ok as long as you don’t have intercourse…I am not exactly sure which to believe but I feel like both are right in some aspects…I personally don’t believe it is bad as long as both of the people involved truely love each other and have not been with other people and they don’t care to look at anyone else or be with anyone else but the person they are with…its basically like being in a faithful marriage without actually being married and theres no intercourse involved…but I dunno, i may be wrong…I just thought that as long as its out of love and not lust that its ok but I don’t want to believe the wrong thing. Thanks
[/quote]

If you can, I would suggest watching Jason and Crystalina Everett speak. They are pretty good speakers.

Any sexual activity outside of marriage is a sin, mortal depending on the circumstances. To love someone is to lookout for what is best for that person. Love takes self sacrifice. That is why Christs sacrifice shows his love for us; because he sacrificed completely for us. The best thing for a woman(or man) is to save herself(or himself) for marriage. If you love eachother, then show eachother by looking out for what is best for them and sacrificing the self.

Sex is a part of the relationship that you have with your future husband. That is the situation it is designed for.


#5

[quote=abcdefg]oral sex outside marriage is adultery/fornification
oral sex within marriage is a waste of seed and exclude the natural law purpose of sex : procreation

so oral sex in any circumstance is a gravely matter. committed willfully leads to mortal sin
[/quote]

Right on abcdefg!

But I do believe that oral sex would be permissable within the context of marriage as long as wasting the seed is not the result. In other words, the male’s climactic conclusion must be an act of pro-creation.


#6

I see from her profile that she is unmarried and 18. I think she’s trying to see that if it’s okay to do sexual things other than intercourse outside of being married. She knows intercourse is a union that should be between man and wife, so she’ll hold out for that. In the meantime, to satisfy urges, she would like to have oral sex with her partner. She thinks its okay because they are committed, love each other, etc…

Sorry, Charlie. No oral sex, no masturbation, no nothin is permitted until you marry. It’s tough, but Jesus told us it ain’t gonna be easy!

It will make you a better person, really, and your relationship will be much much stronger if you two are together and can do without sexual activity until you are married. I know you probably can, but what about your bf? If he really loves you he will and can.


#7

Forget what you learned in the '90s Oral Sex is Sex…Sex out of marriage is a sin.


#8

[quote=Heather07]Hi, I am new here and I am planning on working on becoming a Catholic and I am going to be attending RCIA classes starting this September…I am still in the learning process and theres still alot I don’t know and my past beliefs still influence me alot…I was just wondering if someone could tell me if oral sex is a sin (mortal or venial?) and if it is still a sin if you only do it out of love…this is where I am confused because I’ve heard alot of people say that its bad then others have said that its ok as long as you don’t have intercourse…I am not exactly sure which to believe but I feel like both are right in some aspects…I personally don’t believe it is bad as long as both of the people involved truely love each other and have not been with other people and they don’t care to look at anyone else or be with anyone else but the person they are with…its basically like being in a faithful marriage without actually being married and theres no intercourse involved…but I dunno, i may be wrong…I just thought that as long as its out of love and not lust that its ok but I don’t want to believe the wrong thing. Thanks
[/quote]

Hi Heather. Congratulations on starting RCIA. If you don’t already own a catechism, you should buy one. The Catechism can give you direction on what the Church teaches on these matters.

Sexual activity outside of marriage is a sin against Chastity and against the marriage (ie, against the 6th commandment). Sexual activity is not define exclusively as intercourse. The types of activities you are describing are in fact sexual-- designed to stimulate and bring to orgasm. They are intimate activities that should only be done with one’s spouse.

Please read up on chastity and sins against marriage in the Catechism.

Within marriage, these types of activities are ok as foreplay, as long as they are leading to a completed act of intercourse. They may not replace intercourse.


#9

[quote=mommy]Forget what you learned in the '90s Oral Sex is Sex…Sex out of marriage is a sin.
[/quote]

mommy, what do you mean by “is?” :rotfl:


#10

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