Questioning Friend


Hey guys, first post, although I’ve been around the forums for some now.

I have a [raised loosely] Catholic friend who is insisting to me that he can just cherry pick the “values” of whichever religion he wants and still get along just fine. He claims that it doesn’t matter that the resurrection of our Lord happened, that it wouldn’t affect anyone’s daily life today and that nothing in the Church would be different.

How can I go about bringing him back home and to Church teaching? I’m generally well-versed in basic apologetics, but his obstinacy is difficult to address effectively.

It’s a typical secular-humanism invasion, I think, but I’m being rather unsuccessful in moving him at all, as far as I can tell. He seems to be perfectly fine living a secular life without God involved.

Again, I know this isn’t anything particularly new these days, but any resources or bits of advice would be greatly appreciated.


He is at the point where you can do nothing but pray and live a holy example of life.

Obstinancy can only be overcome by Grace - Grace which comes as an answer to prayer, and Grace which comes by seeing examples of holiness.

Trying to push matters with him is likely to only push him further into obstinancy. Wait until he comes to you, and trust.


C.S. Lewis has a book out called Mere Christianity. It is not a quick or keep your attn type of read, but makes a very good case on proving Christianity. I have read that he was almost Catholic when he died.

He does not slam Catholicism, rather makes a very good case on Christianity that is written to the skeptics.

On one of Father Mitch Pacwa’s middle eastern programs he said that asking questions of why people feel the way they do is a great way of leading them to the truth, rather than trying to shove it down their throat.


Thanks for the quick advice.

Lazerlike42, I have been told this before and I, personally, have such a hard time getting to this point, somehow. I think I, myself, need to practice humility and faith before God and realize that he’s in control, not me. But I will do my best to let this be my primary attitude/approach to this situation now.

Dmelosi, I have, in fact, read a large part of Mere Christianity. The major parts, anyway, mostly the beginning. Actually, I have brought up much of this to him. I’m a big fan of the way Lewis builds his points up from nothing; that is, he addresses the hard-core non-believer, allowing his theological ideas to be applied much more practically, in my opinion.

The frustrating part is we went to the same [very very traditional and orthodox] Catholic Jesuit high school, yet there are a multitude of alumni of the school, such as the friend at hand, that didn’t take a lick of good theology with them after they left. Can’t force 'em to drink, I suppose…


The best way I know to witness for Christ is to live the faith completely. Rather than dialogue, illustrate! If you are a walking example of all the Church teaches, your friend may get curious and start asking questions. I use every opportunity to talk about how I live my faith. When someone asks about my weekend, I tell them about Church. If someone asks me about my marital status, I tell them I am celibate. When they ask me why, I give them the answer. If they want to know more, then we can talk. I should be the best example of the Catholic faith they experience, without having to preach. So I’d better be up to the task!

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