Hello everyone. I’m new here, so I’ve tried my best to make sure I’m posting in the right place, and I think this is it.
I’ve tried getting advice from a lot of different Catholic friends about this, but there wasn’t really a “ring of truth” to any of what I heard, and there was quite a bit of conflicting views. So now I’m asking the Internet!
My girlfriend and I have been dating for 10 1/2 months. This is my first serious relationship. We are both Catholics in good standing. For the first three months of our relationship things were great, as they usually are. I understand the whole honeymoon element. About three months in, though, I began to regularly question my relationship.
At first, it was only once in a very long while. By about 6 months, I was doing this often enough for it to disturb me. Nowadays, it’s every week.
The things that I think to myself is that my girlfriend isn’t able to empathize with me. I’m also very frustrated that we don’t communicate very well at all. This is where I get into trouble with advice: quite frankly, I don’t think most people have understood what I’m trying to say. My girlfriend mostly communicates on the level of facts and ideas. I mostly communicate on the level of feelings and opinions. It is very hard for us to meet in the middle.
On top of this, I find it very difficult to spend time with her without wishing I was doing something else. I keep hoping that if I persevere it will go away, but it hasn’t. I used to really enjoy being with her, but that’s not so often anymore. Mentally, I really appreciate the good things about her, but for some reason, I can’t feel anything anymore. I am not seeking the feelings of love, understand, what I mean is that I’m not happy with what she gives to the relationship…and I wish I was!
My doubt in this is that I’m being selfish. I haven’t broken up with her because I worry that some of my friends have been right in saying that this situation is going to happen with anyone I’m going to date. My girlfriend knows that I’ve felt this way, and she gets really upset. She loves me a lot, and she doesn’t seem to have this problem at all, which disturbs me. I am choosing to love her and spend time with her, but I wonder if that’s what is really the right thing to do.
What should I do?