Questions about a child's/parent's culpability re Mass attendance


#1

Hi: I need some guidance. I’m hoping this won’t be too long or convoluted but I will do my best:

My 11-year-old daughter was invited by her classmate (also 11) and her family to accompany them on a trip out of state to the Harry Potter exhibit in Florida. After we said yes, but before we paid the nonrefundable airfare (which we have now done), I asked if the family planned to attend Mass while they are gone (they will leave on a Saturday and return the following Tuesday). They said they hadn’t planned to but “maybe we will find a Mass while we are there.” Perhaps I should have said no at that point but at the time it seemed cruel to my daughter when we had already said yes.

I have found two/three churches nearby and their Mass schedules and directions. I plan to pack them with my daughter’s things and (hopefully) politely and gently mention it to the family.

I have several questions:

  1. Years ago, when my son was in Scouts, he was able to get a Dispensation from our pastor when my son went to a Scout camp and had no way to get to Mass. Is that the same situation here?

  2. Is my daughter guilty of sin if she goes and does not attend Mass since she can’t get to one herself.

  3. Am I guilty of sin for allowing her to go given the circumstance?

  4. Is it rude of me to politely mention the Mass times and directions to the family. (They are Catholic and I believe practicing Catholic.)

  5. Any suggestions for how to handle this? Thanks for the help


#2

I assume that you already purchased the tickets. Accepting that the family considered going to Mass if possible I would mention the Mass time and locations to them, nothing wrong with doing some homework for them. They will also be reminded what our obligations are as Catholics.


#3

[quote="carmelitenovice, post:1, topic:288065"]
1. Years ago, when my son was in Scouts, he was able to get a Dispensation from our pastor when my son went to a Scout camp and had no way to get to Mass. Is that the same situation here?

[/quote]

Not sure but don't think it is the same as there are masses your daughter can go to vs. being out in the wilderness at Scout Camp.

[quote="carmelitenovice, post:1, topic:288065"]
2. Is my daughter guilty of sin if she goes and does not attend Mass since she can't get to one herself.

[/quote]

Nope.

[quote="carmelitenovice, post:1, topic:288065"]
3. Am I guilty of sin for allowing her to go given the circumstance?

[/quote]

That's between you and your confessor but I am going to say nope because at this point there is an expectation that she can go, not a definite knowledge she cannot. If she misses mass, the sin falls to the adults who did not take her as she is a minor in there care (both physically and spiritually).

[quote="carmelitenovice, post:1, topic:288065"]
4. Is it rude of me to politely mention the Mass times and directions to the family. (They are Catholic and I believe practicing Catholic.

[/quote]

I don't think it is rude but that of course depends on how it is done.

[quote="carmelitenovice, post:1, topic:288065"]
5. Any suggestions for how to handle this? Thanks for the help

[/quote]

You told them you would like for your daughter to attend mass. You looked up the times and locations near where they will stay. You shared that information with them. That is about all you can do.


#4

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