Questions and opinions on premarital sex

Are you ok with premarital sex or completely aganist it if so why? Personally I’m not aganist it. I think if someone wants to have sex they should just do it with precautions. Question 1: If you caught your teen having sex what would you do please be descriptive. Question 2: Would it be alright to have premarital sex if you know for 100% that your going to get married anyways?

  1. Pre-marital sex is always wrong, even if you firmly believe you are going to marry the other person.

  1. There is an epidemic of Sexually Transmitted Diseases in this country.

  1. No form of birth control is completely effective aside from a hysterectomy.

Hope this helps,

I am against it 100% because it is a sin.

I am against it. It is a grave sin and is damaging for the future spouses. It is really serious. The consequences could be eternally catastrophic

Pre-marital sex is wrong, I am completely against it, and no, one MUST wait until marriage even if they are getting married tomorrow. It is a sin to engage in pre-marital sex. That’s it: no if’s, and’s, or but’s about it.

If I caught my teenage child having sexual intercourse before marriage, then I would absolutely make them stop and then use every method available (counseling with a priest or something) to ensure they never do it again.

May God bless you all! :slight_smile:

God created sex to be the super-glue that keeps a husband and wife together. It shouldn’t be applied before it’s time, that is, before marriage. When dating, the smartest thing to do is to look at the person soberly to see if they would be a good life partner and having sex makes it hard to be rational. Many people make bad marriage choices because of hormones and emotions and later think “What was I thinking??” It’s not funny how a young lady will have sex with her boyfriend and rationalize every red flag that their families and friends point out.

The nations have an epidemic of young women raising their babies alone because they had sex with their boyfriends but were abandoned when a baby came along. This is not good for babies, not good for the young ladies or their boyfriends, and not good for a nation who must then support these bad choices. It certainly is not good for all the babies aborted, in the millions, and the taxes that go to support this bad choice.

If we could wave a magic wand and have everyone follow God’s plan for marriage and family life, we would see…

  1. A huge drop in sexually transmitted diseases. Since the pill has arrived, we not only see a huge increase in the number of people infected with sexually transmitted diseases but also the number of diseases that have come into existence. When I was 10 years old, AIDS did not exist and maybe another 20 other STDs. Can you imagine that? I can.

  2. The number of young women living in poverty with their babies would drop dramatically, plus the drain on the economy and the tax payers to support them.

  3. There would be no need for the millions of abortions demanded by ladies who have no partner to support them. I wonder how much taxpayer money would be available if we could take that money and put it in a bank account for another use.

God’s plan for marriage and family life is good for women, for babies, for men, for communities and for the nation. When people say “It’s nobody’s business if me and girlfriend have sex”, well it doesn’t work out that way, does it? You don’t have to be a Catholic to see the impact sex outside of marriage has.

Stepping aside concerning Church teachings for a moment.

As a young man in my very early tweenties I engaged in premarital sex. Living in a college town, nothing could possibly be more normal.

I can say now with all honesty that the major event in my life, the event from which sprang every negative aspect in my life even 37 years later, was the loss of chastity. I am supremely dissatisfied with how my life turned out and looking back I trace all that went wrong to that single decision to have sex outside of marriage.
I have had no sexual pleasure that compensates for the hardship I have endured.

It is the uncompromising teaching of the Church concerning the man/woman relationship that brought me to the Catholic faith, converting from evangelical Protestant.

The Church is right. I know its right because I have seen firsthand the results of doing it some other way.

Glory to God.

Thank you so much for this testimony! Please continue to witness to this as much as you can. The world needs to hear it.

The Catholic Church considers pre-marital sex a mortal sin, which is a sin so grave that it will send a person to hell unless they are truly repentant. Here are some reasons why pre-marital sex is considered a mortal sin:

  1. Human law provides the minimum standard for humans to live by. In other words, what is the most that humans can get away with without destroying themselves? God’s law is exactly the opposite. God holds us to the highest standard possible. In other words, what behavior would be needed in order to achieve an absolute perfect society? We don’t change God’s law to suit us because we fall short. We don’t even change God’s law because it’s impossible for humans to achieve. Instead, we adapt because we should always be striving for the ideal. With that stated, what kind of behavior do you think God would expect of unmarried couples?

  2. Moral behavior also requires that we have the highest respect for human life possible. As such, we should never do harm, short of self-defense. Pre-marital sex, no matter how careful, always has a risk of pregnancy. This could lead the mother to another mortal sin through abortion. The couple is also putting a potential human life’s entire future at risk by not being prepared to accept the responsibility to raise it or be prepared to do so in advance. It might have to grow up in a single parent or unstable household, finances would not have been prepared, and so on. The fact that a couple could potentially put an innocent life at risk is the highest form of selfishness and is completely irresponsible.

  3. Despite years of scientific study and philosophical debate, no one knows precisely when the soul enters the human body and human life begins. As such, Catholics are required to take the safest route and assume the most conservative answer, which is that life begins at the moment of conception. Birth control can cause the failure of a fertilized egg to implant, thus causing an abortion. Someone could be the unknowing partner to unintentional murder. Some might also choose to use the morning after pill, which does essentially the same thing, but on purpose.

  4. Pre-marital sex always presents the possibility of sexually transmitted disease. It would be a grave sin to infect someone with a dangerous disease, and some diseases, like HIV, can be transmitted even through condoms. People might not even know they have them. HPV has no symptoms, and yet can cause cervical cancer. How many times have people believed themselves to be in a monogamous relationship, only to discover that their partner is cheating? Over 50% of the population has been cheated on at some point. How many had suspicions beforehand?

  5. Promiscuity leads to more promiscuity. By sleeping around, it decreases the special bond that one has when they are exclusive with a single partner. They want to explore the lustful side of sexuality more, unimpeded by feelings. It increases the possibility of cheating during marriage, and has helped to contribute to our skyrocketing divorce rate. Why get married when I can just sleep with someone and move on? People get obsessed with the initial sexual attraction, and never move on to the more intimate phases of relationships. When the fireworks stop, they simply dump their lover, find someone new, and recapture the feeling again. You always hear in the movies about “fear of commitment”. Well, a LOT of this is due to the fact that people think they have a good thing going. Why would they want to limit their sexual fun by committing permanently to someone?

  6. During pre-marital sex, one is treating the partner like an object of pleasure, rather than an object of love. (This can occur EVEN INSIDE OF A MARRIAGE, by the way…) Rather than using sex for its wondrous purpose, which is a special unity that offers the possibility for the creation of life, we detach from that purpose, and use it solely for pleasure. To be sure, sex is pleasurable and provides fun and great intimacy for couples, but it is meant to be a unique bond that strengthens the family unit, rather than fracturing it through promiscuity. By giving into lust, a couple is exploiting each other for selfish purposes, even if the bond of love is there. The minute that sex becomes just about fun, the couple begins to test those boundaries to see how much fun one can have. These boundaries are difficult to resist, and one can find themselves in trouble very fast. Even inside a marriage, when you are not open to life, you are taking one of the most special gifts of God, which is actually being allowed to participate in the process of creation, and rejecting it as if it is worthless.

So, why is pre-marital sex bad? It could lead to abortion, it could lead to the creation of a child with a family completely unprepared to raise it, it can transmit disease, it is selfish, it weakens the family, it provides a mentality for divorce and lack of commitment, it is exploitative, and is the misuse of a hugely unique gift from God. Does that help?


Q1: Dunno in any detail, not there.

Q2: No. If you know 100% that you will get married, then hurry up and get married.

You may be interested in theology of the body.

If you know for sure you are going to get married anyways, then wait until you ARE married. :wink:

To ask a young lady to take on the risk of getting pregnant for a few minutes of pleasure is the opposite of love, it’s selfish.

Love says we will wait until we are married. That is the loving thing to do, the kindest and most generous thing to do. Love is patient, love is kind, love never seeks it’s own self interest. It is exercising these virtues that train a man and woman for marriage, for enduring and coming through the trials of life.

You “know” you are going to marry this person, and yet, you AREN’T MARRIED. Why is that? If you are supposed to marry them soon, then why not just wait? If you are going to get married a long time in the future, why the wait? If this person is to be your spouse, why would you want to hold off from them in almost perpetual waiting to be wed to them?

Note, this is a teen having sex in the op’s question.

Teenagers usually aren’t in a position to know whether they’re going to marry a particular person anyway. All too often, a couple is certain that they’re going to get married, but when problems occur, they break up. Since they’re not in a truly committed relationship yet- either one can and should leave if they realize that marriage would be a bad idea- thier future may be much less certain than they believe.

That is, in fact, one of the many reasons for chastity that doesn’t simply boil down to “God said no”. God’s not trying to keep us from having perfectly innocent fun. He realizes that sex often has life-changing consequences, and it’s much much better for everyone if that change is a good one in a stable, committed relationship, rather than a bad change in a relationship that may or may not lead to marriage.

My advice, OP, is to make a commitment to chastity- even if you don’t believe in God, there are many reasons why fornication is irresponsible. You’ll save yourself a lot of heartache, as many of the members on these boards can attest to. If you want to read more about the Church’s teachings about chastity, an easy place to start off might be the relevant section of the catechism.

(None of that was really directed at you, Penny- your observation was a good one. I just ended up using your post as a springboard. Sorry if that wasn’t clear. :o)

Good job! lol Loved your post.

What answers did you expect from a predominantly catholic audience on CAF?

What is the reason for asking Q1? Please be descriptive.

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